Krampus Quotes

Howard We should have gone to stay with my brother!

Linda Your brother lives in a barn!

Howard Jesus was born in a barn!

Aunt Dorothy I'm old enough to know when life is coming at me with its pants down.

Howard You're not thinking of going after that snowplow alone, are you?

Tom Shepherd's gotta protect his flock.

Omi Please, listen...

Aunt Dorothy English. I knew it.

Taglines You Better Watch Out.

Linda It's Christmas. Nothing bad is going to happen on Christmas!

Jordan We know you still believe in the big fat creeper!

Max I don't know what you're talking about!

Stevie Are you sure about that?

Beth Stop!

Stevie Dear Santa, I know I haven't been great this year and I'm sorry for that, but I was really hoping you can help out me and my family this Christmas. We need you!" Oh, Maxi-Pad. That is so s...

Beth Stop, Max!

Stevie Blah blah blah. Bullshit, bullshit. Ah, here we go, Maxie's wishlist!

Beth Stevie, stop! That's enough!

Stevie Wait, you're up first, Beth! "I wish me and Beth could hang out like we used to. Might've noticed that I don't have tons of friends." Oh no, really Max? "I wish my Mom and Dad could fall in love again. I know they get upset a lot with Dad away from home so much. I think they really just miss each other." "Also, I wish things weren't so hard for Uncle Howard and Aunt Linda. So, maybe you can lend them a hand for the rest of the year. And... and that..." Screw you, Dad does not wish we were boys!

Sarah Who wants crème brûlée?

Max Give me the letter!

Tom Hey! Max?

Howard Alright, that's enough!

Tom You okay? Honey!

Max I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be, but forget it! I hate Christmas! I hate all of you!

Sarah Max? Max!

Aunt Dorothy Oh, lay off of him! Kid deserves a prize for telling the truth!

Max Are we going to be okay?

Max What?

Aunt Dorothy She said we're fucked!

Omi Engel It started with the wind, on a cold night, much like this. It was almost Christmas, but this Christmas was darker, less cheerful. But I still believed in Santa, in magic and miracles, and the hope that we could find joy again. But our village had given up on miracles, and on each other. They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas, the sacrifice of giving. And my family was no different. I tried to help them to believe again, but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. They too had given up. And eventually, so did I. And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away. A wish I would come to regret. And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard... I got my wish. I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. The shadow of Saint Nicholas. It was Krampus. And as he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish, not to give, but to take. He, and his helpers. I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, knowing that I would be next. But Krampus didn't take me that night... He left me, as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, when belief is forgotten... and the Christmas spirit dies.