28 quotes
Desire for Power and Control
The Leprechaun
The path to power is often soiled with innocent blood, and I will let nothing stop me from becoming king. I'll have power and glory, and a beautiful queen to share it with. Share... Now there's a word that lies crooked upon me. The very sound of it sends my teeth to grate and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I want is everything. I'll wed her, bed her and bury her all in the same day. I wonder if her father will pay for the wedding AND the funeral.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation in a Cosmic Struggle
Dr. Mittenhand / Mittenspider
Help me... Help me...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange on Height Perception
Harold
Dr. Mittenhand, you look... much taller in person.
Dr. Mittenhand
Thank you, Harold, I'LL do the jokes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on 21st Century Dance Skills
Sticks
Man. Twenty-first century and they still can't dance.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Leprechaun on Embracing Change
The Leprechaun
Do ya like hangin around, eh? Well there's no future in that!
[''Dolores is hanging from the catwalk''; ''Bashes one of her hands'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning of a Dangerous Spider Encounter
Sticks
Tina, get out of here. Go back! There's a big, ugly motherfucking spider! Go back! get out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Military Camaraderie in Unlikely Circumstances
Staff Sergeant Brooks Malloy
] the survivors] Same to you, pal!
[''The Leprechaun's disembodied hand [[w:The finger|has just flipped off]
Sticks
Way to go! Alright! God, I love the Marines.
[''The survivors have a group hug'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Escalates in a Medical Appointment
Harold
I'm sorry. You have an appointment?
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker
Listen, you little pencil-neck geek, you get me the doctor now before I jerk out your teeth and shit down your throat!
[''Yelling'']
Harold
Thank you, I've already had my lunch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sergeant Questions Weapon Choice Humorously
Staff Sergeant Brooks Malloy
What did you shoot him with, steroids?
[''After Leprechaun becomes a giant'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Medical Concerns in Space Adventure
Danny
Damn. Gonna take more than penicillin to fix that shit.
[''Upon seeing Kowalski's remains after Leprechaun came out of his crotch'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The King's Death and the Queen's Ascendancy
Princess Zarina
The King is dead. Long live the Queen.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Authority Over Ship's Departure
Dr. Mittenhand / Mittenspider
No one leaves this ship unless I so say! Say so.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Between Characters in Unlikely Situation
Staff Sergeant Brooks Malloy
You heard the lady, Harold, move your ass.
Harold
Hey, don't touch me unless you mean it, cowboy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Statement of Mobility
Dr. Mittenhand / Mittenspider
I can walk!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Humor in a Tense Situation
Sticks
Lordy, Mr. Daniels, it sho be dark in here!
[''Clowning around'']
Danny
Laugh it up, wise guy. It won't be so funny when that little bastard shoves a laser up your ass.
Sticks
Ooh. A laser up my ass? Oh. Ohh. Come on feet, don't fail me now!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning of Eternal Doom
Princess Zarina
Look upon them and know that you are forever doomed.
[''Revealing her breasts'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Leprechaun's Declaration in Space
The Leprechaun
As ] said, ].
[[w:Shakespeare|Shakespeare; [w:shit happens|shit happens]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Responsibility and Valor
Pvt. Delores Costello
You don't think Kowalski's gettin killed was my fault, do you?
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker
What do you mean?
Pvt. Delores Costello
Well, I mean, I'm the one who gave him ].
[[w:erection|the boner and all]
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker
Forget about it. Kowalski would've wanted it that way. He was a marine. Come to think of it, when it's my time go, I hope I'm standing tall just like he was.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threats in the Face of Loss
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker
One more thing, if I lose any more of my men, YOUR ASS IS GRASS! If... if you've even got an ass!
[''Pauses, realizing that Dr. Mittenhand's only organic parts are his head and right arm'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defensive Claims and Threats of Violence
Staff Sergeant Brooks Malloy
I am not defensive and I will shoot anyone who says I am defensive.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation for Flies and Code Preservation
Dr. Mittenhand / Mittenspider
No! You can't! My work! FLIES! I need, flies! Everything will be lost. the code. I have to remember the code. Bring me flies. No! No! I must save the ship. My work!
[''After mutating into a Spider-esque abomination'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning from the Leprechaun
The Leprechaun
Hold it right there, pilgrim. I'm not gonna hurt ya. Naw, I'm not gonna hurt ya. The hell I'm not!
[''Pulls out a pistol and imitates [[w:John Wayne|John Wayne; ''Fires gun'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Incentives for Obedience and Success
Dr. Mittenhand
If you disobey my orders and refuse to carry them out. You will be tried for mutiny and I guarantee you, you will be shot! On the other hand, if you are successful in killing that creature. I will arrange a very generous bonus for each of you.
[''shouts'']
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker
How much?
Dr. Mittenhand
Say, one hundred times what you are being paid now.
Sticks
I'm in.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Exchange of Flattery and Scorn
Harold
May I say what an honor is is to be working with such a great genius?
Dr. Mittenhand
And may I say how much I loathe and despise toadies like you?
Harold
Thank you. And may I say what an honor it is to be despised by such a magnificent mind?
Dr. Mittenhand
Oh, shut up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Transformation into Mitten-spider Explained
Dr. Mittenhand / Mittenspider
Due to interference, my experiment has gone awry. I am becoming a mutant, my brain slowly losing human perspective. I am no longer Mittenhand. I am now... Mitten-spider.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Power Behind the Curtain
Dr. Mittenhand / Mittenspider
I am like the ], am I not? Running things from behind a curtain. Only this wizard IS NOT A FAKE!
[[w:Wizard of Oz|Wizard of Oz]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Royal Blood and Deadly Consequences
Tina
Don't get too excited, boys. On the planet Dominia, when a woman of royal blood shows you her breasts, it's a death sentence.
Sticks
And what part of her anatomy is she gonna kill me with?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Romantic Evening with a Twist
The Leprechaun
Your shrieks, my dear, provide a perfect accompaniment to this romantic evening.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.