18 quotes
Casual Banter Between Characters
Lorna
You look a little banged up.
Riggs
You look a little knocked up.
Unexpected Suggestions in a Tense Moment
Riggs
Hey, are those little hearts?
Murtaugh
Not now Riggs! Just shoot the damn valve!
Riggs
Okay! Also, flap your arms and make noises like a bird!
Murtaugh
Hey, hey-flap my arms and make noises- Why!?
Unexpected Discovery of Laughing Gas
Murtaugh
What you got got in hands there?
Butters
Uh-uh...a nut cup? I got some big nuts!
Murtaugh
T-That's nitro...hmmm....oxide!
Butters
It's a laughing gas!
Murtaugh
W-W-We're stoned!
Misunderstanding Historical Figures in Conversation
Uncle Benny
Time! Time for Four Fathers!
Riggs and Murtaugh
Forefathers!
Riggs
Uh, Washington? Jefferson? Those guys?
Murtaugh
Roosevelt?
Uncle Benny
I'm sleeping with my wife's two sisters!
Murtaugh
You lucky son of a bitch!
Riggs
That's a good one Uncle Benny!
Uncle Benny
Not so good! When my wife finds out!
Confusion Over Parenthood in Lethal Weapon 4
Butters
Your baby is having my baby!
Murtaugh
My baby is having his baby!
Butters
And your baby? Whoa, baby!
Murtaugh
Whoa baby my baby!
Unexpected News of Parenthood
Riggs
Yeah, there's something I'm not supposed to tell you, too.
Murtaugh
What?
Riggs
Rianne's pregnant, you're gonna be a grandfather!
Murtaugh
Rianne's WHAT?!
Misunderstanding Over Fried Rice
Riggs
Flied lice?
Uncle Benny
Flied lice! It is fried rice, you plick!
Finding a Lost Watch Amidst Tension
Riggs
Yeah, I'm sick of these fuckers, Rog. I say we just find em and shoot em, what do you think?
Murtaugh
Better meet me and Butters on South Spring Street, then.
Riggs
Yeah? What's going on?
Murtaugh
They found my watch.
Rights and Representation in a Tense Moment
Butters
You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up! Okay!? You have the right to an attorney! If you can't afford an attorney, we'll provide you with the dumbest fuckin lawyer on Earth! If you get ], I'll kill ya!
[[Johnnie Cochran]
Waiter
Johnnie Cochran! He fight for me!
Unexpected News of Fatherhood
Murtaugh
I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but Lorna's pregnant, you're gonna be a father!
Riggs
No, get going, get... what did you say!?
Murtaugh
You're gonna be a FATHER!!
Misunderstanding Nautical Terminology in Conversation
Leo
Okay, you did say "aft"?
Murtaugh
A-F-T. Aft.
Leo
And that's a fuckin word?
Murtaugh
In the back of the cabin on the right side, Leo!
Leo
Well, why didn't you say that to begin with, ROGER?! I love how these people get around boats and water, and all of a sudden everything becomes fuckin nautical! Astern! Avast, ye landlubbers! Man the bilge pumps! Pump your fuckin ass!!
Confusion Over Medical Specialties
Leo
Oooohhhh, my tooth!
Dr. Chen's Receptionist
What's the matter with you, sir?
Leo
What's the matter?! My ass hurts! My tooth! What is this, a dentist's office or a proctologist?!
Misunderstandings in a Police Encounter
Leo
Hey, uh, hey, Riggs, who's the, uh, perp? What'd you bust him for?
Butters
Oh, I'm a perp? Oh, you see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp?! Look at my suit! Look at my tie! What do I look like, a fuckin Crip's accountant?! Look at this badge, bitch! Check out the gun!
Leo
Okay, okay, hey, hey, put the gun down! Put the gun down!!
Butters
License! Registration! Urine sample!
Leo
Hey, I got a badge too, okay?! Y'know, German Jews didn't have it any easier when we were kids, so don't think you're the only one, okay?! Okay?! Besides, I knew you were a cop, I was just kiddin with ya! Hey, I can smell a cop a mile away!
Butters
Oh, I smell bad? What'chu trying to say?!
Leo
Well, stop turning everything around! You're so damn touchy! These guys'll tell ya, we work together, we got a history together! Hey, maybe we'll work together someday! I'm the bomb, they'll tell ya, I'm great!
Butters
Yeah, we're gonna work together as soon as I open up a cereal shop, ya fuckin leprechaun!
Leo
Hey, I didn't call you any names, ya fuckface!!! Don't start that!!