Lethal Weapon (1987) - Quotes

Martin Riggs: Hey, you know what?

Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Riggs!

Martin Riggs: Yo.

Roger Murtaugh: After all we've been through, if you think I'm gonna eat the world's lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you're crazy.

Martin Riggs: Well, I have news for you, Rog.

Roger Murtaugh: What?

Martin Riggs: I'm not crazy.

Roger Murtaugh: I know.

Martin Riggs: Well, good. Let's eat.

Martin Riggs: How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?

Mr. Joshua: Don't mind if I do.

Martin Riggs: [''real tough''] I want your title.

Mr. Joshua: [''smirks''] Okay.

General Peter McAllister: Kill the son of a bitch!

Martin Riggs: Who's fucking next?! McAllister! Who's next?!

Culprit: [''punches Murtaugh in the mouth''] The shipment, Mr. Murtaugh.

Roger Murtaugh: Go spit!

Mr. Joshua: [''Endo does''] Hit him again.

Mr. Joshua: [''Endo hits him again for longer''] Hit him again.

Mr. Joshua: Come on! Tell me about the shipment!

Martin Riggs: [''yells and spouts gibberish, then spits at Endo, lunges at Joshua''] I swear I'm gonna fucking kill the both of you!

Mr. Joshua: Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now what about the shipment?

Martin Riggs: You know they're gonna kill her, don't you?

Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.

Martin Riggs: So, if you want her back, you're gonna have to take her away from them.

Roger Murtaugh: I know.

Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you gotta do is just not miss.

Roger Murtaugh: I won't miss.

Martin Riggs: We're gonna get bloody on this one, Rog.

Roger Murtaugh: Are you really crazy... or are you as good as you say you are?

Martin Riggs: You're gonna have to trust me.

Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same Albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker!

Roger Murtaugh: You sure?

Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.

Roger Murtaugh: Listen, sorry about all that shit I was in your face about earlier... you saved my life. Thank you.

Martin Riggs: Oh, I bet that hurt to say.

Roger Murtaugh: [''chuckles''] You'll never know.

Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?

Martin Riggs:: Well, I haven't killed you yet.

Roger Murtaugh: Well don't do me no favors!

Roger Murtaugh: [Riggs enters, Murtaugh throws the door shut, but the door swings the other way] GET IN HERE!!

Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?

Martin Riggs: Oh, for Christ-...

Roger Murtaugh: SHUT UP! Yes or no - you wanna die?!

Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell--

Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin a bullet?! HUH!? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it?! This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it?! The job! Doin the job! Now that's the reason!

Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?

Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.

Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.

Martin Riggs: What did he mean back there when he said you owed him?

Roger Murtaugh: We served together in 65. la Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs.

Martin Riggs: That was nice of him.

Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.

Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?

Martin Riggs: What?

Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!

Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.

Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both been fucked!

Martin Riggs: Terrific.

Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.

Martin Riggs: Hate Him back; it works for me.

Mr. Joshua: [Responding to Scrooge on "A Christmas Carol" on TV] Goddamn Christmas!

Mr. Joshua: [''stealing a man's car''] Mind if I test-drive your Audi?

Mr. Joshua: Endo here has forgotten more about dispensing pain than you and I will ever know.

Roger Murtaugh: [''last lines''] I'm too old for this...

Roger Murtaugh: [''when Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight''] Get that shit off my lawn!

Roger Murtaugh: [''aiming his gun at McAlister's oncoming car''] No way you live. No way.

Roger Murtaugh: General McAlister, time for you to die.

Roger Murtaugh: I was driving before you were an itch in your daddy's pants!

Roger Murtaugh: [''repeated line in all four movies''] I'm too old for this shit.

Roger Murtaugh: [''just after Murtaugh prevents Riggs from shooting himself''] You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!

Martin Riggs: [after rescuing Murtaugh and Rianne] What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here.

Martin Riggs: Maybe there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?

Martin Riggs: [Riggs and Murtaugh go to a bust at a "rich house"] Saw this on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.

Martin Riggs: Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.

Martin Riggs: [holding his wife's wedding photograph, sniffling, after deciding not to kill himself; cries; sobs, then sighs and sniffles; 6 seconds later; throws wedding photograph on the floor] I miss you... Victoria Lynn. Hey, that's silly, isn't it? I'll see you later. I'll see you much later.

Martin Riggs: I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves.

Martin Riggs: Now that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!