29 quotes
A Unique Role in the Nativity Play
Daisy
We've been given our parts in the nativity play! And I'm the lobster!
Karen
The Lobster?
Daisy
Yeah!
Karen
In the nativity play?
[confused]
Daisy
Yeah! First Lobster!
Karen
There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
[still confused]
Daisy
Duh!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence of Love in Relationships
Taglines
It's All About Love... Actually.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence of Romantic Comedy
Taglines
The ultimate romantic comedy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gratitude from Billy Mack
Billy Mack
Thank you, Ant or Dec.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Fame and Substance Use
Billy Mack
Oh. Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs..... Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honesty in Unexpected Places
Mikey, DJ interviewer
Well. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack
For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer
Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack
Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer
Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack
].
[[w:Britney Spears|Britney Spears]
Billy Mack
No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pride in National Identity and Legacy
David, the Prime Minister
We may be a small country, but we are a great one. A country of ], ], ], ], ], ]'s right foot, David Beckham's left foot come to that...
[[Shakespeare; [Winston Churchill|Churchill; [The Beatles; [Sean Connery; [w:Harry Potter|Harry Potter; [David Beckham]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking Understanding in a Difficult Situation
Daniel
So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school – are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam
You really want to know?
Daniel
I really want to know.
Sam
Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel
Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam
OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Daniel
Sorry?
Sam
I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel
Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam
No.
Daniel
Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam
Why?
Daniel
Well, you know – I thought it might be something worse.
Sam
Worse than the total agony of being in love?
[incredulous]
Daniel
Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Work Duration Revealed
Harry
Sarah, turn off your phone and tell me exactly how long you've been working for us.
Sarah
Two years, seven months, three days and what, about two hours.
Harry
And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah
Two years, seven months, three days and I'd say about an hour and thirty minutes.
Harry
I thought as much.
Sarah
Do you think everybody knows?
Harry
Yes.
Sarah
Does Karl know?
Harry
Yes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Colorful Expression of Frustration
Billy Mack
Oh, fuck, wank, bugger, shitting, arse, head and hole!
[after fluffing up recording his song "Christmas is All Around" for the second time]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Love in Unlikely Places
Billy Mack
I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
Joe
Right.
Billy Mack
And I realized that as dire chance and fateful cockup would have it, here I am, mid 50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you.
Joe
Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack
Yeah...
Joe
Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a maypole.
Billy Mack
I left Elton's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, in order to hang out with you, at Christmas.
Joe
Well, Bill...
Billy Mack
It's a terrible, terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence of Love
Taglines
All You Need Is Love
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Organizing the Christmas Party Challenges
Harry
Right, the Christmas party, not my favourite night of the year and your unhappy job to organise.
Mia
Tell me.
Harry
It's basic, really. Find a venue, over-order on the drinks, bulk buy the guacamole and advise the girls to avoid Kevin if they want their breasts unfondled.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tensions in U.S.-UK Relationship Highlighted at Conference
Press Conference Reporter
Mr. President, has it been a good visit?
The President of the U.S.
Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter
Prime Minister?
Prime Minister
I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of ], ], the ], ], ]. ]'s right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.
[[Shakespeare; [Winston Churchill|Churchill; [The Beatles|Beatles; [Sean Connery; [Harry Potter; [David Beckham]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Concept of "The One" in Love
Daniel
You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam
] film] There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me. She's "the one".
[referring to the [[Titanic; holds up one finger]
Daniel
Fair enough.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Colin's Bold Declaration of Confidence
Colin
Farewell, failure. America, watch out! Here comes Colin Frissell. (singing tenor) And he's got a big knoooob!
[at the Departures gate, saying goodbye to Tony]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reluctance to Embrace Political Responsibilities
Annie
Would you like to meet your household staff?
Prime Minister
Yes, I would like that very much indeed. Anything to put off actually running the country.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ubiquity of Love in Life
David, the Prime Minister
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.
[first lines, playing over a montage of reunions at Heathrow Airport; the following words appear on screen; the screen turns black, showing the words "love actually"]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange on Body Image and Power
Natalie
He says no one's going to fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
[talking about her ex-boyfriend]
Prime Minister
Right. Goodness. Well, well. You know, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Natalie
Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.
Prime Minister
Do. The ] are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.
[[w:Special Air Service|SAS]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Necklace Purchase
Rufus, the Clerk
Looking for anything in particular, sir?
Harry
Ah, yeah. That necklace there, how much is it?
Rufus
It's £270, sir.
Harry
Oh, alright, I'll have it, thanks.
Clerk
Lovely. Would you like it gift-wrapped?
Harry
Oh. Yeah, why not.
Clerk
Lovely. Just pop that in there. (puts in in a box, measures out ribbon)
Harry
Can we be quite quick?
Clerk
Certainly, sir. Ready in the flashiest of flashes. (ties ribbon) There.
Harry
That's great!
Clerk
Not...quite. (gets a small bag)
Harry
I don't need a bag, I'll just put it in my pocket.
Clerk
Oh this isn't a bag, sir.
Harry
No?
Clerk
This is so much more than a bag. (puts box in bag and sets it upright)
Harry
Can we be quite quick?
Clerk
Prontissimo! (fills the bag with flowers petals and lavender. Brings out something else)
Harry
What's that?!
Clerk
It's a cinnamon stick, sir.
Harry
Can we get a move on?
Clerk
You won't regret it.
Harry
Wanna bet?
Clerk
There. Almost finished.
Harry
Almost finished"?! What else are you gonna do, you gonna dip it in yoghurt? Cover it in chocolate buttons?
Clerk
No, sir. Just pop it in the Christmas box.
Harry
But I don't want a Christmas box!
Clerk
You said you wanted it gift-wrapped sir.
Harry
I did, but-
Clerk
This is the final flourish, sir.
Harry
Can I just pay?!
Clerk
All we need now...
Harry
Oh God!
Clerk
Is a sprig of holly.
Harry
No! No! No bloody holly!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Unexpected Public Attention
Prime Minister
Right. So not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie
What do we do now?
Prime Minister
Smile. Little bow. And a wave.
[all of which they do, awkwardly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
First Day Nerves and Unexpected Language
Annie
And this is Natalie. She's new as well.
Natalie
Hello David. I mean, Sir. Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said shit'. Twice. Oh, I'm so sorry Sir.
Prime Minister
That's alright. You could have said fuck and then we'd all be in trouble.
Natalie
Thank you, Sir. I did have a terrible premonition I was going to fuck up on my first day. Oh piss it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Romantic Comedy Reflections in Love Actually
Taglines
Very romantic. Very comedy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Travel Plans Announced by Colin
Colin
Exciting news!
Tony
What?
Colin
I bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks!
Tony
No!
Colin
Yes! To a fantastic little place called Wisconsin!
Tony
No!
Colin
Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin!
Tony
No, Col! There are a few babes in America, I grant you, but they're going out with rich, attractive guys.
Colin
Nah, Tone, you're just jealous. You know perfectly well that any bar anywhere in America contains ten girls more beautiful and more likely to have sex with me than the whole of the United Kingdom.
Tony
That is total bollocks. You’ve actually gone mad.
Colin
No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family.
Tony
No, Col. No.
Colin
Yes!
Tony
Nyet!
Colin
Da!
Tony
Nein!
Colin
Ja, darling!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Love During Christmas Season
Judy
All I want for Christmas is you.
[to Jack]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Colin's Thoughts on Love and Nationality
Colin
I've just worked out why I can't find true love.
Tony
Why is that?
Colin
English girls. They're stuck up, you see. And I am primarily attractive to girls, you know, who are cooler, game for a laugh. Like American girls. So I should just go to America! I'd get a girlfriend there instantly. What do you think?
Tony
I think it's...crap, Colin.
Colin
That's where you're wrong. American girls would dig me with my cute British accent.
Tony
You don't have a cute British accent.
Colin
Yes, I do! I'm going to America.
Tony
Colin, you're a lonely, ugly arsehole. Accept it.
Colin
Never. I am Colin, God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Trust in Relationships
Karen
Tell me, what would you do in my position?
Harry
What position is that?
Karen
Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...
Harry
Oh, Karen...
Karen
Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if worst of all it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?
Harry
Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool.
Karen
Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish too.
[voice breaking]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Upcoming Release Announcement
Taglines
Coming soon actually.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Young Love and Friendship Challenges
Daniel
Option One: ask her out.
Sam
Impossible.
Daniel
Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Sam
She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Daniel
Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Sam
It's a route I've considered.
Daniel
And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of...
Sam
Hygiene.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.