3 quotes
Confrontation Between Madea and a Woman
Madea
I don't know what the hell you're blowing at, but keep blowing at me.
Woman
Come on, grandma!
Madea
Are you coming… Are you coming out? Hey! Are you coming out?
Woman
Move it, lady!
Madea
I guess you aren't coming out. I like those shoes.
[turns a corner at the lot]
Woman
Come on, come on, come on!
[honks her horn several times; sing-songy]
Madea
There's a spot right here. I got the groceries, and now, I just need to get up in here. Come on out. I know… Did she… I know damn well that you just… Excuse me! Excuse me! Lady, I know… I know damn well you saw me getting ready to take this spot.
[A car drives away from a parking spot. The woman speeds her car into it, just before Madea could park; looking around in shock; drives up to the woman in pink, who gets out of her car]
Woman
I saw you, and I took it.
Madea
Why don't you move your little red car before I move it for you? OK, go on into the store. Go on into the store. Just walk off. Just walk off like you're bad. You're bad? You're bad? OK. Excuse me! Excuse me! I said I was waiting for this spot, lady.
[The woman huffs at her, then walks to the Kmart; drives up to the woman each time as she approaches closer to the Kmart]
Woman
Well, it's my spot now, grandma.
[tauntingly]
Madea
Lady… Lady, look here… Lady. Lady, lemme explain some… Lady, lemme explain something! Lady, lemme explain something!
Woman
Are you gonna follow me into the store?
[enters the store]
Madea
Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. She's gonna make me tear the K and the B offa this Kmart. I need to back up. I oughta run into her. Lord, help me. I don't wanna get in no trouble, Lord. Help me, Jesus! Help me, Lord! You know I'm ready to drive straight through this glass. That's right. I'm gonna beat her ass.
[backs her car up; spots a crane-like forklift at a construction site beside the store. With a devious smile, she gets an idea]
Woman
Are you insane?!
[to Madea]
Madea
Didn't I told you that was my parking spot, and you were gonna jump in front of me, and take my damn parking spot?
Woman
Are you insane?! Put my car down!
Madea
OK, I'm gonna put it down for you.
Woman
Old woman, put my car down!
Madea
OK.
[short pause]
Woman
My husband is a police officer, and he's on his way right now!
Madea
I ain't scared of no po-po! Call the po-po, ho! Call the po-po!
[barrellrolls across the hood of her car]
Woman
Honey, this woman… This… This Jemima the Hutt… She ruined my car!!
[on the phone; screaming voice]
Madea
Well, I better get the hell outta here. If he wants me, he better come to my house to get me!
[gets into her car]
Woman
He will! Get over here now! The Kmart!
[to Madea; on the phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation in a Tense Jail Scene
Brown
You look bad. You look like you've been doing hard time.
Madea
If you come up to me, I'ma cut er.
[smokes]
Cora
You did?
Madea
Yeah. That's what I did. They got womens up here with danglers, and I cut her right off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Legal Oversight in a Courtroom Drama
Judge Mablean
There's nothin you can do. She's going to jail this time!
Brian
I don't know about that.
[unsure]
Judge Mablean
And why not?
Linda
Apparently your Honor, our officers forgot to mirandize her.
Madea
I was waiting for Miranda to come in and nobody came in there ! I was waiting for her. That's right. Ain't nobody miranda me, Miranda wasn't even in the room.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.