27 quotes
Excuses and Collapses in Major League II
Lou Brown
Taylor, it's not your job to make excuses. THAT'S ALL YOU GUYS DO GOOD. IT'S EITHER A LEG THING. OR A SPIRITUAL THING. OR A PSYCHOLOGICAL THING. OR A HEART ATTACK!
Jake Taylor
Who used heart attack?
Lou
Me. (collapses)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Winning Streaks in Sports
Lou Brown
We won a game yesterday, if we win one today, that's two in a row. If we win one tomorrow, that's called a "winning streak." It has happened before. SO LET'S SEE SOME HUSTLE! SO LET'S JACK IT UP A LITTLE!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on a Brief Film Experience
Harry Doyle
I wanted to see his movie, but it was only out for two and a half hours. I did hear however that it was in focus.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Competitive Banter Between White Lightning and Black Thunder
White Lightning
Mine fell the hardest.
Black Thunder
Mine are the deadest.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Challenge on the Baseball Field
Rube Baker
Mr. Parkman, you're a great ballplayer, and I'd just like to say: you're standing on the tracks and the train's comin through, butthead.
Rube Baker
Ah, to hell with the signals. BRING IT HERE, RICKY!
[positions his glove]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement for Change in Major League II
Lou Brown
I LOVE THIS SHIT. I MAY MOVE TO ENGLAND. YEAH!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indians Celebrate Division Win in Major League II
Harry Doyle
Somebody caught it, and the Indians win the division.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Taylor's Thoughts
Harry Doyle
Obviously Taylor's thinking.... I don't know what the hell he's thinking.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Mounts in Final Baseball Moments
Harry Doyle
We're in the top of the 9th, leading 10–7, bases loaded, two down, and Rick Vaughn has come on to try and nail it down against Felipe Aguilar, a dangerous righthanded batter. Here's the pitch... Aw, shit. If that's not Shaquille O'Neal in left, that baby's outta here.
[Aguilar hits a towering blast]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on Potential and Future Careers
Rube
Wow, Willie's really got some power.
Lou
Off a guy who'll be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Team Focus and Timing Concerns
Lou Brown
This team has completely lost its focus.
Roger Dorn
You think April is too early for a Roger Dorn night?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Changing Perspectives on Athletes and Rivalries
Harry Doyle
You know, I used to hate Parkman when he was with the A's. It's funny how a new uniform can change your attitude about a guy. He's still a dick.
[''Covers the microphone so the audience can not hear'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identifying the Center Fielder
Rube Baker
Who are they?
Jake Taylor
They are our center fielder.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Effort in Baseball Game
Willie Mayes Hayes
If the gutless wonder doesn't have to pitch, why should I have to run?
[referring to Vaughn]
Rick Vaughn
Who you calling a gutless wonder, Tin Man?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on Player Positioning in Baseball
Harry Doyle
Of course, he could be pointing at the left fielder.
[when Hayes calls his shot, and the ball lands short]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Broadcast School Success Acknowledged
Harry Doyle
Dynamite drop in Monty, that broadcast school has really paid off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disappointing Attendance at Major League Baseball Game
Harry Doyle
Hello, Tribe fans. Welcome to Major League Baseball...sort of. The attendance today is fourteen hundred and twelve. Most of them left after that 10-run inning the Red Sox put up...take over, Monty. I'm in the bag.
[fully drunk, wearing a wife-beater, heavily slurring; falls forward, passed out]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Challenge Accepted on the Baseball Field
Jack Parkman
I got your timing now. But I'll bet you don't have enough hair on your ass to throw me another one.
Rick Vaughn
Well, here it comes, Parkman. Old number 1: The Terminator. You get a piece of it, you can rename it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on Roger Dorn's Struggles at Bat
Harry Doyle
And Taylor is sending up.....Roger Dorn?? Dorn is 0 for the century against this guy, with several foul tips.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rube Celebrates Being on the Roster
Rube
Hey, Pedro, guess what, man? I'm on the rooster!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on a baseball player's memory
Harry Doyle
And Hayes steals second, I'm surprised he still remembered where it was.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indians Show Life Amidst Team Tensions
Harry Doyle
My God. Good news, fans. The Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact, they appear to be beating the crap out of each other! Looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn, and why not? Everybody else in the league does. Hayes swings and misses. I dunno, Monty, it looks like Vaughn's carrying his left a little low. This could hurt him in the later rounds.
[Hayes tries to punch Vaughn and misses]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reading Beyond the Pictures in Playboy
Jake
Rube, you look at Playboy all the time, don't you?
Rube
I don't just look at it. I read the articles.
Jake
Sure you do.
Rube
I do. I especially like it when they mention the girls interests, like Betsy loves surfing.
Jake
You even memorize them?
Rube
Yeah, I guess I do.
Jake
Bingo.
[figures out Rube's problem]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Naming New Pitches in Baseball
Jack
What do you call that garbage?
Rick
That's the eliminator.
Jack
The eliminator?
Rick
I've got a new one I'll show ya. You get a piece of it, I'll let you name it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rube's Take on Women and Nature
Rube
Women: you can't live without them, and they can't pee standing up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Winning and Losing in Team Dynamics
Jack
I'm the only winner on the team. The rest of them are losers. Either by choice or by birth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Baseball Amidst Legal Troubles and Confusion
Harry Doyle
I don't know how this guy keeps his mind on Baseball with the Paternity suits and all.
Monty
I think those are parking tickets.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.