Major League (1989) - Quotes

Lou Brown: [''After Dorn has jumped out of the way of a ground ball and then tried to field it anyway''] C'mon, Dorn! Get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this ¡Olé! bullshit!

Lou Brown: Well, you may run like Mays, but you hit like shit. With your speed, you should be hitting the ball on the ground and be legging them out. Every time I see you hit one in the air, you owe me twenty push-ups.

Lou Brown: [''After Hayes has made a Willie Mays style basket catch''] Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever fucking do it again.

Lou Brown: Forget about the curve ball, Ricky. Give him the heater!

Harry Doyle: And the Indians win it! The Indians win it! OH MY GOD, THE INDIANS WIN IT!

Harry Doyle: [Monty: You can't say "goddamn" on the air!] And for the Indians, that's one run on, let's see...one hit? That's all we got?, one goddamn hit? Don't worry; nobody's listening anyway.

Harry Doyle: Hayes is picked off! Well, so much for that. Personally I think we got hosed on that call.

Harry Doyle: [Monty: Ah...doesn't really say it here.] Heywood's a convicted felon, isn't he Monty? Well, he should be!

Harry Doyle: We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a helluva job.

Harry Doyle: [''covers microphone with hand and turns to Monty''] Well, you can close the book on Kellner. Thank God!

Harry Doyle: [extended version] Vaughn deals...and Heywood swings and crushes one towards South America. Tomlinson will need a visa to catch this one, it is out of here and there is nothing left but a vapor trail. Let's hope we still have diplomatic relations with the country that baby lands in.

Harry Doyle: Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

Harry Doyle: [''searches through his papers''] The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. The hell with it!

Harry Doyle: [''35 years prior.''] Just a reminder fans about Die Hard Night coming up here in the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.

Harry Doyle: Ball four...ball eight...low and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on twelve straight pitches. Boy, how can these guys lay off pitches that close?

Harry Doyle: [''ball thrown several feet off the plate''] Vaughn into the windup for his first offering... Just a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.

Harry Doyle: Vaughn, a juvenile delinquent in the off-season, in his major league debut.

Harry Doyle: In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.

Willie Mays Hayes: [''later, with Cerrano about to strike out again''] We should've got the live chicken.

Willie Mays Hayes: Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Hey Jake, man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!

Willie Mays Hayes: Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display.

Willie Mays Hayes: [''Introducing himself''; [w: Willie Mays|Mays; [w:Bob Hayes|Hayes] Say, hey! Willie Mays Hayes. I play like ], and I run like ].

Willie Mays Hayes: [''sliding into home plate in a tux''] The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.

Jake Taylor: [to Heywood when he swings and misses on Vaughn's 97 MPH fastball] Sucker was moving, wasn't it? If it'd hit you, it'd leave a 2-foot hole coming out.

Jake Taylor: [preparing for Vaughn's first pitch to Heywood. Vaughn shakes off the breaking pitches, until Taylor finally signals for a fastball, which Vaughn nods at] Alright, Ricky. Let's get nasty.

Jake Taylor: [He tries to throw a runner out, talking to himself; Overthrows the second baseman] Don't bounce the damn ball... Nice throw, dickhead.

Jake Taylor: [''about to find out whether he's made the team''] Come on Jake. It's only your life.

Jake Taylor: [underthrows second baseman] Second base... shit.

Jake Taylor: [''to Rexman''; ''Rexman pops the ball straight up''] Hey, Rexman! Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, you guys trailing by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television–if you don't blow it. By the way, I saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You must be very very proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? Oh, I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? Uh-oh, Rexy I don't think this one's got the distance.

Jake Taylor: [''in Mexico, upon receiving a phone call asking him to report to Cleveland Indians spring training''] ... is that you, Tolbert?! This isn't very funny, you know. I'm hung over! My knees are killin me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees!