30 quotes
Uncertainty About Hayes' Previous Performance
Harry Doyle
We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a helluva job.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Willie Mays Hayes Promises Hitting Showcase
Willie Mays Hayes
Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Baseball Commentary on a Home Run
Harry Doyle
Vaughn deals...and Heywood swings and crushes one towards South America. Tomlinson will need a visa to catch this one, it is out of here and there is nothing left but a vapor trail. Let's hope we still have diplomatic relations with the country that baby lands in.
[extended version]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Promotion for Die Hard Night at the Stadium
Harry Doyle
Just a reminder fans about Die Hard Night coming up here in the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.
[''35 years prior.'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration on the Baseball Field
Jake Taylor
Second base... shit.
[underthrows second baseman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encouraging Tough Play in Baseball
Lou Brown
C'mon, Dorn! Get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this ¡Olé! bullshit!
[''After Dorn has jumped out of the way of a ground ball and then tried to field it anyway'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension and Humor in a Critical Moment
Jake Taylor
Hey, Rexman! Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, you guys trailing by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television–if you don't blow it. By the way, I saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You must be very very proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? Oh, I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? Uh-oh, Rexy I don't think this one's got the distance.
[''to Rexman''; ''Rexman pops the ball straight up'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indians' Unexpected Wins Spark Attendance Concerns
Harry Doyle
In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Indians Celebrate Unexpected Victory
Harry Doyle
And the Indians win it! The Indians win it! OH MY GOD, THE INDIANS WIN IT!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coaching Advice on Hitting Technique
Lou Brown
Well, you may run like Mays, but you hit like shit. With your speed, you should be hitting the ball on the ground and be legging them out. Every time I see you hit one in the air, you owe me twenty push-ups.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of a Live Chicken
Willie Mays Hayes
We should've got the live chicken.
[''later, with Cerrano about to strike out again'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Team's Poor Performance
Harry Doyle
And for the Indians, that's one run on, let's see...one hit? That's all we got?, one goddamn hit? Don't worry; nobody's listening anyway.
[Monty: You can't say "goddamn" on the air!]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on Heywood's Background and Character
Harry Doyle
Heywood's a convicted felon, isn't he Monty? Well, he should be!
[Monty: Ah...doesn't really say it here.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Pitching Strategy in Baseball
Lou Brown
Forget about the curve ball, Ricky. Give him the heater!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Aggression in Sports Competition
Jake Taylor
Alright, Ricky. Let's get nasty.
[preparing for Vaughn's first pitch to Heywood. Vaughn shakes off the breaking pitches, until Taylor finally signals for a fastball, which Vaughn nods at]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Reflection on Life Choices
Jake Taylor
Come on Jake. It's only your life.
[''about to find out whether he's made the team'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Commentary on a Player's Performance
Harry Doyle
Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questionable Call in Major League Game
Harry Doyle
Hayes is picked off! Well, so much for that. Personally I think we got hosed on that call.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with a teammate's performance
Jake Taylor
Don't bounce the damn ball... Nice throw, dickhead.
[He tries to throw a runner out, talking to himself; Overthrows the second baseman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debut of a Troubled Player
Harry Doyle
Vaughn, a juvenile delinquent in the off-season, in his major league debut.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration and Humor in a Tough Situation
Jake Taylor
... is that you, Tolbert?! This isn't very funny, you know. I'm hung over! My knees are killin me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees!
[''in Mexico, upon receiving a phone call asking him to report to Cleveland Indians spring training'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Post-game show frustration expressed humorously
Harry Doyle
The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. The hell with it!
[''searches through his papers'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Closure on Kellner’s Story
Harry Doyle
Well, you can close the book on Kellner. Thank God!
[''covers microphone with hand and turns to Monty'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lou Brown's Warning to Hayes
Lou Brown
Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever fucking do it again.
[''After Hayes has made a Willie Mays style basket catch'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on the impact of a pitch
Jake Taylor
Sucker was moving, wasn't it? If it'd hit you, it'd leave a 2-foot hole coming out.
[to Heywood when he swings and misses on Vaughn's 97 MPH fastball]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Pitching in Major League Baseball
Harry Doyle
Ball four...ball eight...low and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on twelve straight pitches. Boy, how can these guys lay off pitches that close?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Willie Mays Hayes Introduces Himself
Willie Mays Hayes
Say, hey! Willie Mays Hayes. I play like ], and I run like ].
[''Introducing himself''; [w: Willie Mays|Mays; [w:Bob Hayes|Hayes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Importance of the American Express Card
Willie Mays Hayes
The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.
[''sliding into home plate in a tux'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Pre-Game Rituals in Baseball
Willie Mays Hayes
Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Hey Jake, man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Missed Pitch in Baseball Commentary
Harry Doyle
Vaughn into the windup for his first offering... Just a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.
[''ball thrown several feet off the plate'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.