Mars Attacks! (1996) - Quotes

General Casey: [''Talking on the phone''; ''Makes kissing noises and hangs up the phone''] Hello? This is General Casey. I get to meet the Martian Ambassador! Ain't that great? Oh, it's a hell of an honor. But didn't I always tell you, honey, if I just stayed in place and never spoke up, good things are bound to happen! Yeah... Okay.

Professor Donald Kessler: [''As the Martians disintegrate Congress''; ''A Martian knocks Kessler unconscious''] Mr. Ambassador, please! What are you doing? This doesn't make sense! It's not logical! It's not -

Professor Donald Kessler: We know they're extremely advanced technologically, which suggests - very rightfully so - that they're peaceful. An advanced civilization, by definition, is not barbaric.

Jason Stone: [''To Jerry Ross''] When the Martians land, will the press have access? Can we do interviews?

Grandma Florence Norris: [''As Taffy is awarding her the Congressional Medal of Honor''] Thank you, honey. But don't you dare let anything like this happen again.

Grandma Florence Norris: Richie, I think these guys are very sick.

Grandma Florence Norris: [''After a Martian's head explodes''; [music] I think it must be my ]!

Grandma Florence Norris: [''laughs''] They blew up Congress!

Richie Norris: Wow, he just made the international sign of the donut.

Richie Norris: I want to thank my Grandma for always being so good to me, and, and for helping save the world and everything.

Billy Glenn Norris: [''Prepares to shoot, but a Martian notices him''; ''Drops his gun and holds up a flag''; ''The Martian disintegrates him with a ray gun''] DIE, YOU ALIEN SHITHEAD! Uh-oh. I surrender!

Billy Glenn Norris: [''About to get on the bus to leave for the Army, to his brother, Richie''] So long, retard.

President Dale: [''Making one last appeal to the Martians''; [universe; [Earth; [Mars; ''The Martian Leader sheds a single tear. Dale smiles to himself, impressed. The Martian Leader approaches him and shakes hands with Dale. Then, the Martian Leader's hand detaches from his arm''; ''The hand proceeds to crawl all over Dale's body. At the small of his back, it stabs through his body. Dale collapses to the ground, dead. From his dead body, a flag rises: a Martian flag''] Why... are you doing this? Why? Isn't the ] big enough... for both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Because we're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Think how strong we would be! ]... and ]... together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish. Think about it! Think about it. Why destroy... when you can create? We can have it all, or we can smash it all! Why can't we... work out our differences? Why can't we... work things out? Little people... why can't we all just... get along? What's this?

President Dale: [''Overhearing the Martians' destruction of [[France; [w:mon dieu|mon Dieu] ] via telephone] ...]..

President Dale: Rest assured that we will soon come out at a very real... outcome.

President Dale: [[w:Two Out of Three Ain't Bad|ain't bad!] I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ] I want the people to know that the schools will still be open, okay? And I want the people to know that the garbage will still be carried out. And I want a cop on every corner - which, incidentally, we would already have, if they had listened to me in the last election!

Martian Translator Device: Don't run! We are your friends!

Martian Translator Device: We come in peace! We come in peace!

Martian Translator Device: ['''''General Decker''': What the hell does that mean?!''] All green of skin... 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.

Taffy Dale: [''Watching Martians massacre the Senate''] Guess it wasn't the dove.

Sue Ann Norris: I'll tell you one thing, they ain't gettin the TV.

Art Land: I'm not a crook, I'm ambitious. There's a difference.

Art Land: I'd been thinkin about Mars when there wasn't no Mars.

Art Land: Even in a time of so-called intergalactic emergency, people still want to roooooll them bones!

Art Land: [''Pitching a hotel/casino idea''] If the Martians land, they're gonna need a place to stay. Just like everybody else.

Cedric Williams: What are you guys gawking at?! Get that President outta here!

General Decker: [''The Martians break into the War Room and Decker approaches them, holding two pistols''; ''Starts shooting at them, to no effect''; ''The Martian Leader uses a shrinking ray to begin miniaturizing Decker, who does not seem to notice, with his voice rising in pitch as he gets smaller and smaller''; [w:We shall fight on the beaches|We'll fight you on the beaches! We'll fight you on the streets! We'll never, never surrender!; [w:Old Glory|Old Glory; ''Now smaller than the Martian Leader's foot''; [Democracy; ''The Martian Leader stomps on Decker, crushing him''] You think you can do anything you want? Well, you can't, you see, because we are human beings! And we have the United States Army that'll fight you to the last man! And we'll never surrender! Do you hear me?! ] ] will win! ] will survive! We will never, never surrender! We will win! The eagle will be triumphant!

General Decker: You can't have Martians running all over Nevada!

General Decker: Screw the press! This is a need-to-know situation. We should make it a top secret, and we should move in right away with DefCon-4!

General Decker: We should nuke these assholes with everything we got, sir.