Matilda (1996) - Quotes

Trunchbull: [[poetry] WHY are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not ]!

Trunchbull: [storms towards Matilda; drags her through the hallways; '''Matilda''': The Chokey?!; '''Matilda''': What lesson?!; '''Matilda''': My father?; '''Matilda''': I'm nothing like my father!; [apple; [tree] Useless flaming CAR! Wormwood! Sell me a lemon? You're heading for the Chokey, young lady! Teach you a lesson! You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! The guy with the stupid haircut! You're the spitting image! The ] never rots far from the ]!

Trunchbull: Shut up! The entire school will stay another FIVE HOURS after school and copy from the dictionary! Any child who object will go straight into the Chokey... TOGETHER!

Trunchbull: Hop to, hippity-hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room, immediately. Sit!

Trunchbull: The distance the shot put goes depends upon the effort you put into it! PERSPIRATION!

Trunchbull: ['''Harry''': As a matter of speaking, yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.; '''Harry''': Oh yeah, huh? Uh…; '''Harry''': Terrific motto.; '''Harry''': Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.; '''Harry''': Uh-huh. Well, since you're an educator, I'm gonna make you a great deal.; '''Harry''': Let's do business!] I need a car that is inexpensive, but reliable. Can you service me? Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. I warned you, sir. I want a tight car, because I'm on a tight ship. My school is a model of discipline. "Use the rod, beat the child". That's my motto. Do you have any brats for yourself? They're all mistakes, children. Filthy and nasty things. I'm glad I never was one. You'd better.

Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey: ['''Zinnia''': Well, nobody will be there. We're moving to [[w:Guam|Guam] I'd be happy to walk her home. ]. Come on. Let's go.] Guam?

Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey: Okay, listen up, everybody. Have a new student with us today. This is Matilda Wormwood. I'd like you to sit here with Lavender.

Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey: ['''Miss Trunchbull''': I broke your arm once before, I can do it again, Jenny.] Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night. I know that I-- I am not seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull.

Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey: Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. Lissy Doll, I called her. Would you like some milk?

Miss Jennifer "Jenny" Honey: Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her.

Zinnia Wormwood: Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books - I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband... and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college?

Zinnia Wormwood: Harry! I won! I won! I hit the double bingo! Come on, everybody. I'm taking you all to Café Le Ritz.

Zinnia Wormwood: [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did.

Zinnia Wormwood: Mine are driving me crazy. I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school is not enough.

Harry Wormwood: I'm great. I'm incredible. Michael, pencil and paper in the kitchen.

Harry Wormwood: What're they gonna do? Repossess the kid?

Harry Wormwood: You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Sit up and look at the TV!

Harry Wormwood: Get in the car, Melinda!

Harry Wormwood: The library? You've never set foot in a library. You're only four years old.

Harry Wormwood: I did not glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk! The fibers fused to my hair!

Matilda: ['''Harry''': Young lady, where were you?] Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because a boy ate some chocolate cake.

Matilda: You're very brave, Miss Honey.

Matilda: For what, Miss Trunchbull?

Matilda: Just kidding.

Matilda: But don't people need good cars? Can't you sell good cars, Dad?

Matilda: The young woman is you!

Matilda: I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison.

Matilda: Check it if you don't believe me.

Matilda: No more Ms. Nice Girl.