30 quotes
Preparing for Change and Uncertainty
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Wanna start me up? Open the choke and pull the cord down. I'm due for Seismic event and you're dancing the fault line.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Casual Offer of Support
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Yeah, she's pretty much screwed. Come on, I'll buy you ].
[[w:beer|a beer]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expressing Frustration and Defiance
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Had enough? Up yours.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Free Hot Dogs Available for Everyone
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Free hot dogs here, all you can eat! Get your foot long and a bag of nuts!
[''Being chased by FBI agents'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Situation Involves Chicken and Officer
Officer Stubie
] and police arrived to find him tied to tree with live chicken's head in Would someone please get this chicken out of my ass?
[''To [[w:FBI|FBI agents; [w:gerbiling|rectum]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Personal Matter Regarding the Kid
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
I got no beef with you. This is between me and the kid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inappropriate Behavior in a Chrysler
Mr. Murphy the disabled guy
Get your cock out of my Chrysler, you son of a bitch!
[''Upon leaving gas station store and seeing Hank Evans urinating into the tank of his vehicle'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Illogical Situations
Shonte Jr.
Man, ]?! No motherfucking planet ]! This shit don't make no sense!
[[w:IAU definition of planet|how the hell can they call Pluto a planet; [w:elliptical orbit|has an elliptical orbit]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Officer Stubie's Vow of Retribution
Officer Stubie
I promise you when I find your old man, I am personally gonna fuck him up!
[''To Charlie/Hank's sons after [[w:anti-police|handcuffing him to door of patrol vehicle]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introducing Charlie: A Life Overview
Narrator
Meet Charlie. Helpful dad. Upstanding citizen. And an 18 year veteran of the greatest law enforcement agency in the land, The Rhode Island State Police. That's Charlie's home. Modest like the man. Even though he lived on the water, Charlie wasn't much of a swimmer. Which will come into play a little later in our story. But i'm getting way ahead of myself. You know maybe it's best if we just go back and beging at the beginning.
[''A beginning montage of Charlie/Hank is riding his patrolbike'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Late Night Rules
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
I'm not leaving till the morning, but you know the rules when I go: no bitches after eleven.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character's Perspective on Someone's Behavior
Lieutenant Gerke
I've seen it first-hand; the guy's nuttier than squirrel turds!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Light-hearted Plea for Understanding
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Come on, don't be mad, my little pussy-fart.
[''To Irene'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Parking Advice and a Reminder
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
There ya go, buddy. I parked it for ya. And by the way, you got a headlight out.
[''After Hank crashes the guy's car into his shop''; ''Puts ticket on the windshield'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of Charlie Baileygates
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates. ]?
[[w:exhibitionism|Would you like to see my weasel]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Claiming Control Over One's Identity
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
This is my body! Do you understand that? I'm calling the shots from now on, Hank. I don't need you to fight my battles for me. If you back down from something this important, you're nothing at all. YOU'RE NOTHING AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Provocative Question on Physical Confrontation
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Ever been bitch slapped?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of Hank Evans' Character
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Name's Hank, Hank Evans; for little girls...
[''To Irene'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Solitude in Confinement
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Warden. I want my own cell.
[''After Dicky falls on Hank'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gentleness Amidst Delusion and Rage
Jamaal
He may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. But he is a very gentle person!
[''Referring to father Charlie/Hank to FBI agents'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Environmental Discontent in a Comedic Moment
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Well fuck my ozone.
[''When a guy throws a cigarette butt onto the ground'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Identity and Perception
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
That was me. Yeah, big deal. The guy's got his glassjaw.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reactions to Heartbreak in Different Ways
Narrator
It's funny how a man reacts when his heart gets broken. Some break down and cry like a baby. Others, they take out ] ].
[[w:uzi|an Uzi; [w:University of Texas tower shooting|and climb a clock tower]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Observation of an Unusual Figure
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Well looky here, it's a human Q-tip.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Report on Cow Incident Involving Gunfire
Agent Boshane
We just got a report that he put six bullets into a prize cow's head. Poor thing's lucky to be alive.
[''Charlie's sons look at each other; Lee Harvey raises an eyebrow'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Identity and Unexpected Reactions
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
] MotherFucker song on the radio with Irene paranoidly recoiled as far as possible from him in her seat holding a lawn dart as a potential weapon] I'm a Motherfucker! I'm a Motherfucker! I'm a Mo... Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the buzz? Tell me what's happenin'.
[''Driving while singing along to [[w:Dwarves (band)|The Dwarve’s; ''repeatedly''; ''glances over at Irene looking paranoid''; ''Turns off radio'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farewell to the unnecessary distractions
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Arrivederci, deadwood.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Affirms a Statement About Someone
Shonte Jr.
He sure is ]!
[''On Charlie's new chin sporting a chin dimple''; [w:Charles Heston|a Spartacus looking motherfucker]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Emotional Strength Behind a Tough Exterior
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character's Struggle with Pressure and Identity
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Charlie's like origami, he folds under pressure.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.