31 quotes
Mumble's Humorous Taco Bell Observation
Mumble
Now eat my penguin asshole! Ooh, that taco bell ain't sitting right Ha!, caught you with your mouth open!
[turns around and bends over, putting his butt above Leonidas' face; Penguin farts repeatedly, then slaps his butt; white diarrhea sprays into Leonidas' face and mouth]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Compassion and Understanding
Xerxes
Leave Britney alone!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Expression of Defiance
Mumble
Lick my snowballs!
[putting his testicles on Leonidas' face and mouth while fighting him; Leonidas groans as his tongue touches the testicles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Exchange Between Characters
Urban Girl
Yo mama's so fat, her pant size is, um... um... Bitch, lose some weight!
Leonidas
Yo mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookiee!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Xerxes' Excitement Over a Transformer Cube
Xerxes
Ooh! Transformer Cube!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Xerxes Compared to a Familiar Figure
Narrator
Xerxes, he looked a lot like that fat guy from ].
[[Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan|Borat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange on Movies and Hygiene
Rambo
Have you seen the new Rambo movie?
Paris Hilton
Have you seen a shower?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Leonidas Prepares for War Against Persia
Leonidas
I'm assembling an army to go to war with Persia. I'm going to take them in the rear... and then I'm gonna reach around, and I'm gonna take them again from the front!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Expressions of Surprise
Random Person
Well, tickle my nipples with a feather
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Unhistorical Statement by Leonidas
Leonidas
this is from the movie and is not historically accurate...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Leonidas Voices Frustration and Desire
Leonidas
No mayo? This is bullshit!
[picks up subway sandwich]
Leonidas
I had always wanted to do a fat chick.
Leonidas
The Oracle also said that our painted-on abs look fake! But I beg to differ!
[cut to Dilio, where he is seen with a paint artist painting abdominal muscles on his heavyset belly. Dilio starts to laugh.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Insult from Leonidas
Leonidas
Yo Mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unpleasant Odor Acknowledged by Leonidas
Leonidas
Aw it smells!
[as penguin farts and shits into his face and mouth]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Leonidas Questions Sonio's Large Wooden Box
Leonidas
Who is that (about Sonio) Well, he's got a huge package (indicating a wooden box)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Leonidas Defends His Abs Against the Oracle
Leonidas
The Oracle also said that our painted-on abs look fake! But I beg to differ!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Victory's Cost in War
Leonidas
We may have won the battle, but they will win the war!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Excessive Violence in Video Games
Xerxes
Enough of this superflous videogame violence!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of a Dreadful Kick
Spartacus
I thought the kick was utterly dreadful. In fact, I've seen better kicks from a geriatric donkey and I am not talking about you Paula.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Spartan Greetings: A Unique Tradition
Leonidas
That is how "men" greet each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sparta's Harsh Criteria for Newborns
Narrator
In the land of Sparta, when babies were born, the elders would inspect them for defects. If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected, and if the baby was Vietnamese, Brangelina would get first dibs.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Leonidas Rejects Misidentification in Tense Exchange
Le Chiffre
Tell me Mr. Bond, what is the account number?
Leonidas
(tied to a chair) Who the hell is Mr. Bond? I'm Leonidas!
Le Chiffre
You're testing my patience, Double-o.
Leonidas
I told you, I am not double-oooo! Ooooo! Little Miss Sunshine!
[gets harassed in the rear]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Family Revelations in Sparta
Captain
I'm gonna go Hercules on your ass!
Leonidas
Who is that? (looking at a hunk coming)
Captain
That's my son. Sonio.
Leonidas
Well, he's got a huge package.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Spartan Greetings: A Unique Tradition Explained
Messenger
What the hell was was that?!
[Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth]
Leonidas
What?
Messenger
You just kissed me!
Leonidas
That is how men of Sparta greet one another: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning Against the Pit of Death
Traitoro
My lord, he will tell Xerxes that Sparta is not for them, so whatever you do, don't be throwing him into the Pit of Death. (Leonidas does the exact opposite) Stop throwing people into the Pit of Death! Really!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Xerxes Praises Bravery Amidst Threats
Xerxes
I tell you, kid, you got balls! I come here with this huge army, we're gonna shish kebab your ass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Declaration of Spartan Identity
Leonidas
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Queen Margo's Challenge to Sandman
Queen Margo
How do you like me now, Sandman?
[with a mini-vac]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hilton's Perspective on Humility and Submission
Paris Hilton
I'm a Hilton; I don't bow... but I do bend over.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Saluting Unique Masculinity in Humor
Narrator
Buttmeister Presents: Real men of genius!
Male singer
Real men of genius!
Narrator
Today, we salute you, Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual.
[Leonidas and his men balked at the comment]
Male singer
Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual!
Narrator
Wearing nothing but leather underwear and a cape, you charge your enemy like an oiled-up hairless wonder.
Male singer
Sprayed-on tan! *Leonidas sprays himself*
Narrator
Sure, there's danger: charging rhinos, stampeding elephants, and that cute toga-wearing guy named Chad.
Male singer
Ooh!
Narrator
You only went out on one date, but you'll remember it forever... forever... *Leonidas army spits out their beer*
Male singer
Take your daily ]! *Leonidas chugs a whole pill bottle of Valtrex
[[wikipedia:Valtrex|Valtrex]
Narrator
Your keen instincts tell you to cut, slice, and chop every man you see. But enough about your career as a hairstylist. Let's talk war.
Male singer
Ow! The curling iron is hot!
Narrator
So this Butt's for you, King Leonidas! Because when the going gets tough, the tough go antiqueing. *Leonidas spits out his beer*
Male singer
Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual! Oooooohhhh, yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Betrayal of Trust in Unexpected Places
Random Person
Traitoro was a Traitor?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Greeting to Anna Nicole
Mumble
Say "what's up" to Anna Nicole for me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.