Meet the Spartans (2008) - Quotes

Leonidas: We may have won the battle, but they will win the war!

Le Chiffre: Tell me Mr. Bond, what is the account number?

Leonidas: (tied to a chair) Who the hell is Mr. Bond? I'm Leonidas!

Le Chiffre: You're testing my patience, Double-o.

Leonidas: [gets harassed in the rear] I told you, I am not double-oooo! Ooooo! Little Miss Sunshine!

Narrator: Buttmeister Presents: Real men of genius!

Male singer: Real men of genius!

Narrator: [Leonidas and his men balked at the comment] Today, we salute you, Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual.

Male singer: Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual!

Narrator: Wearing nothing but leather underwear and a cape, you charge your enemy like an oiled-up hairless wonder.

Male singer: Sprayed-on tan! *Leonidas sprays himself*

Narrator: Sure, there's danger: charging rhinos, stampeding elephants, and that cute toga-wearing guy named Chad.

Male singer: Ooh!

Narrator: You only went out on one date, but you'll remember it forever... forever... *Leonidas army spits out their beer*

Male singer: [[wikipedia:Valtrex|Valtrex] Take your daily ]! *Leonidas chugs a whole pill bottle of Valtrex

Narrator: Your keen instincts tell you to cut, slice, and chop every man you see. But enough about your career as a hairstylist. Let's talk war.

Male singer: Ow! The curling iron is hot!

Narrator: So this Butt's for you, King Leonidas! Because when the going gets tough, the tough go antiqueing. *Leonidas spits out his beer*

Male singer: Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual! Oooooohhhh, yeah.

Captain: I'm gonna go Hercules on your ass!

Leonidas: Who is that? (looking at a hunk coming)

Captain: That's my son. Sonio.

Leonidas: Well, he's got a huge package.

Urban Girl: Yo mama's so fat, her pant size is, um... um... Bitch, lose some weight!

Leonidas: Yo mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookiee!

Leonidas: [picks up subway sandwich] No mayo? This is bullshit!

Leonidas: I had always wanted to do a fat chick.

Leonidas: [cut to Dilio, where he is seen with a paint artist painting abdominal muscles on his heavyset belly. Dilio starts to laugh.] The Oracle also said that our painted-on abs look fake! But I beg to differ!

Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What the hell was was that?!

Leonidas: What?

Messenger: You just kissed me!

Leonidas: That is how men of Sparta greet one another: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.

Rambo: Have you seen the new Rambo movie?

Paris Hilton: Have you seen a shower?

Narrator: In the land of Sparta, when babies were born, the elders would inspect them for defects. If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected, and if the baby was Vietnamese, Brangelina would get first dibs.

Mumble: Say "what's up" to Anna Nicole for me!

Mumble: [turns around and bends over, putting his butt above Leonidas' face; Penguin farts repeatedly, then slaps his butt; white diarrhea sprays into Leonidas' face and mouth] Now eat my penguin asshole! Ooh, that taco bell ain't sitting right Ha!, caught you with your mouth open!

Mumble: [putting his testicles on Leonidas' face and mouth while fighting him; Leonidas groans as his tongue touches the testicles] Lick my snowballs!

Narrator: [[Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan|Borat] Xerxes, he looked a lot like that fat guy from ].

Leonidas: I'm assembling an army to go to war with Persia. I'm going to take them in the rear... and then I'm gonna reach around, and I'm gonna take them again from the front!

Spartacus: I thought the kick was utterly dreadful. In fact, I've seen better kicks from a geriatric donkey and I am not talking about you Paula.

Paris Hilton: I'm a Hilton; I don't bow... but I do bend over.

Random Person: Well, tickle my nipples with a feather

Random Person: Traitoro was a Traitor?

Queen Margo: [with a mini-vac] How do you like me now, Sandman?

Traitoro: My lord, he will tell Xerxes that Sparta is not for them, so whatever you do, don't be throwing him into the Pit of Death. (Leonidas does the exact opposite) Stop throwing people into the Pit of Death! Really!

Xerxes: Enough of this superflous videogame violence!

Xerxes: Leave Britney alone!

Xerxes: Ooh! Transformer Cube!

Xerxes: I tell you, kid, you got balls! I come here with this huge army, we're gonna shish kebab your ass!

Leonidas: this is from the movie and is not historically accurate...

Leonidas: THIS IS SPARTA!!!

Leonidas: Who is that (about Sonio) Well, he's got a huge package (indicating a wooden box)

Leonidas: Yo Mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie!

Leonidas: The Oracle also said that our painted-on abs look fake! But I beg to differ!

Leonidas: That is how "men" greet each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.

Leonidas: [as penguin farts and shits into his face and mouth] Aw it smells!