Minions (2015) - Quotes

Taglines: Before Gru, they had a history of bad bosses

Taglines: Go back to where it all began.

Taglines: Meet Stuart, Kevin & Bob

Gru: Freeze ray!

Kevin: Bob! Shoota hatta dona.

Bob: Si la.

Kevin: [All flee] BELLO. HUH? LE BUDDIES?

Scarlet: [holds up Bob and Stuart, with their mouths taped up and hands tied behind their backs] Kevin, Kevin, I know you're out there. You think you've gotten away? Well, what do we have here?

Kevin: Bob? Stuart?!

Scarlet: [angrily kicks the camera] Oh, my goodness! Which one shall I kill first? Little Bob? Stuart? Bob?! Stuart?! Hmm?! I will do it, Kevin, if you are not back here by dawn!

The Queen: Oh my!

Herb: Scarlet, you're okay!

Scarlet: [enraged] HE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!!!

Kevin: [speaks Minionese] Uh, no, no...

Scarlet: Villains, this is no longer a coronation, it is an execution! Get them!

Villains: [as they start running] YAAAAH!

Walter: [the minions run through stained glass windows with three humans on them and then the villains run through the wall as the chase continues outside the city on the road. Rain pours from the night sky, the minions are panting as the villains are right behind them as they throw their weapons as some run on the roofs; one villain laughs evilly and thunder and lightning crashes above them] Whoa, Nelly! Run, fellas! Run!

One of the villains: Come back here, you!

Mr. Spikey: [gets picked up by a villain; the villain throws it for the minions as they take cover in a phone booth. The minions whimper while hiding as a villain with a chainsaw looms over them] Whoa!

The Villain: [shows his five fingers, then starts his chainsaw, the Minions run back outside through the door making the cause continue] Hahahaha!

Cowboy: [Uses his lasso on a light pole. Stuart holds the lasso for Kevin to make the way through and trips over some men] Ya!

Scarlet: [furiously; gets hit by a ball; pounced on by a corgi, who licks her, but Scarlet throws the corgi back onto the floor, scaring the painter, corgi whimpers.] How dare you! Aaaaaahhhhh!

Kevin: [relieved] Scarlet!

Scarlet: [gets mad at the Minions] Don't you "Scarlet" me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb's invention to steal my crown?!

Herb: I feel used. Not gonna lie.

Scarlet: You stole my dream. I was going to conquer England someday. There was going to be a coronation, and I was going to be made queen. Every moment was planned. I’d wear a dress so sparkly it glowed, and everyone who ever doubted me would be watching and they would be crying. I was going to be the picture of elegance and class, and you pinheads screwed it up!

Stuart: [kisses them] Ah, Claire. Ooh, Tiffany. Mi bellas! Rawr.

Bob: King Bob!

Queen Elizabeth II: [beats up Stuart] Gentleman... do... not... steal... ladies'... crowns...!

Keeper of the Crown (who's blinded): So… you came for the queen's crown, did ya? Well, you're gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown!

Kevin: [speaks Minionese mockingly while the keeper hits him in the head with a cane] Oye yoi yoi yoi yoi. Ow, hey!

Keeper of the Crown: You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do ya?!

Kevin: [the tower guard hits Kevin in the head] Uh... si? Augh!

Keeper of the Crown: [hits Kevin right between his legs with his cane while he screams; wacks Kevin to the wall with his cane] I've been up here for decades… ...Just waiting for someone to try and steal the Queen's treasure!

Herb: Woah! These guys are pumped!

Scarlet: [screaming louder] Maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story. How does that sound, Bob? Bob?, Bob? BOB?

Bob: Bedtime story?

Herb: That is a groovy idea! I'll get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun!

Scarlet: [beginning to count the history; Kevin and Stuart are scared; the light turns off while they look Bob sleeping] Oh, yes. I've got a really really really good bedtime story. Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf who had a wonderful surprise for them. The wolf offered the 3 piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy. All the 3 little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned… but that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves the princess, so the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown... but the little piggies weren't up to the challenge. They failed their mission, so the wolf huffed and puffed, and she blew them off the face of the earth! The end. Good luck getting that crown tomorrow, little piggies. I know you wouldn't disappoint me.

Scarlet: Steal me the crown, and all your dreams come true. RESPECT POWER!

Stuart: BANANA!

Scarlet: BANANA!

Scarlet: [points at Protret Queen Elizabeth] Do you know who this is?

Kevin: Uh... la cucaracha?

Scarlet: This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. I love England. Their music, the fashion. I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday. Anyway. This pale drink of water oversees it all. I'm her biggest fan, loved her work. And I really, really, really want her crown!

Minion: [as a primitive caveman is about to hit a bear with a club; the Minions cheers as the primitive hits the bear with a fly swatter, then the bear eats him alive as the Minions screamed in terror] No, no, no! Piñata!

Tina: Can you breathe underwater?

Frankie Fishlips: [as Scarlet declares that all the villains have one thing in common] WE WERE BORN WITH FLIPPERS! … No? Just me? Okay.

A man: [pushes the minions back onto the stage] So cool!

Keeper of the Crown: So, you came for the queen’s crown, did you?

One of the villains: [while he’s right behind them minions] Come back here, you!

Herb Overkill: Come on, come on. Life on two! One, two! One, two-

Herb Overkill: [the Minions play with a hangman's noose] This is torture! Guys, cut it out! This is really unprofessional!

Herb Overkill: Prepare for torture which I do!

Herb Overkill: This is gonna be so FUN!

Herb Overkill: [gives Stuart the hat] Hypno-Hat!

Scarlet Overkill: No, no no no…

Scarlet Overkill: Got to get out of here! Let… us… go!

Scarlet Overkill: Ha-ha-ha, your imbecile. Have fun exploding.

Scarlet Overkill: ENOUGH! This…ends…NOW!

Scarlet Overkill: And so help me. I never want to see another one of your goofy buttered faces ever again!

Scarlet Overkill: Bye-bye, Say bye-bye, Bob, Bye-bye!

Scarlet Overkill: [holds up Bob and Stuart, with their mouths taped up and hands tied behind their backs; '''Kevin:''' Bob? Stuart?!; angrily kicks the camera; '''The Queen''': Oh my.] Kevin, Kevin, I know you're out there. You think you've gotten away? Well, what do we have here? Oh, my goodness! Which one shall I kill first? Little Bob? Stuart? Bob?! Stuart?! Hmm?! I will do it, Kevin, if you are not back here by dawn!

Scarlet Overkill: [after seeing Herb's card, reading "I missed you! H."] Herb, seriously, I want to dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it!

Scarlet Overkill: Doesn't it feel so good to be bad?

Scarlet Overkill: It’s red hot.