23 quotes
Importance of Eyebrows in Beauty Standards
Victor "Vic" Melling
Eyebrows. There should be TWO.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confidence in Unconventional Walking Styles
Vic
See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?
[teaches Gracie how to glide]
Gracie
It takes a very secure man to walk like that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strength in Style: Agent in a Dress
Taglines
Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unleashed: Embracing Authenticity in Undercover Work
Taglines
Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Power of Silence in Communication
Victor "Vic" Melling
There are no words.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Swimsuit Competition and a Killer to Catch
Taglines
She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gracie Hart's Confident Assertion of Elegance
Gracie Hart
Hey! I'm GLIDING here!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Memory of Stolen Red Underwear
Cheryl
Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were Satan's panties.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hair as a Statement in Conversation
Vic
Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie
As long as it doesn't say Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Distraction in a Conversation
Victor "Vic" Melling
I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Interview Importance in Pageant Scoring
Vic
The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It accounts for 30% of your total score.
Gracie
Yeah? And what's the other 70%? Cleavage?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gracie Hart's Bold Declaration of Empowerment
Gracie Hart
I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Change and New Perspectives
Eric
You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this.
Gracie
I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts.
Eric
Funny, so am I.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in a Competitive Exchange
Vic
Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Gracie
I would so love to hurt you right now.
Vic
As long as you smile. Now...why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?
Gracie
Because it's too hard to fit "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" on a license plate?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflecting on Unfulfilled Parental Aspirations
Victor "Vic" Melling
If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.
[to Gracie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Communication in Relationships
Eric
Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie
You want me to beat it out of her?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gracie Hart's Moment of Frustration
Gracie Hart
Look, she's gonna cry again. Oh, if I only had a brain.
[imitating winner]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Unconventional Communication
Eric
Is this you not arguing? Cause you suck at it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Fashion Choices in a Serious Situation
Vic
What, no armored car?
Gracie
That would be in my other dress.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Texas Culture and Gun Ownership Perspectives
Gracie
He had a gun.
Kathy
Of course he had a gun. This is Texas. Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Stan
I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.
Kathy
Stan, please!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Adopting a Pageant Identity and Its Consequences
Eric
All right, here are your new IDs. For pageant identity.
Gracie
Gracie Lou Freebush?
Eric
Yeah, remember, you like that name.
Gracie
Yeah, well, my IQ just dropped 10 points.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Humor Amidst Chaos
Stan
I was right in the middle of my song...and then, there was this BIG explosion!
[as he is being commented by interviewers]
Kathy
You people got nothing on me. This is ridiculous.
[unamused; Frank smiles]
Eric
Don't worry, Miss Morningside. Where you're going, they'd love to meet a former beauty queen.
[to Kathy]
Gracie
Yeah, and when he says "meet", he means M-E-A-T.
[Gracie takes Kathy to a police car, but Kathy stops and turns to her]
Kathy
Sweetheart, you don't understand. All I'm guilty of is trying to make the world a more beautiful place! Look at yourself. Why, Dennis Rodman looked better in a dress, but now you're a lady. I did that.
[calmly]
Gracie
No, Vic did that and a team of highly federal manicurists and people who make you...you know, like...beautiful. You know what? You're under arrest. Get in the car.
[she tries to put Kathy in the back of the car, but she gets up]
Kathy
No, you think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country.
[growing angry]
Gracie
What, you think their dream is to get blown up? Y'know, you got a really good shot at that insanity plea.
Kathy
Yeah? Well, I earned it, honey! 25 years of bitching beauty queens and what do I get?! FIRED! They STEAL my life, they steal my beauty pageant!
[as Gracie places her in the car]
Gracie
Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant. It is a scholarship program.
Kathy
Yeah, yeah.
Gracie
Yes.
Gracie
Enjoy your run in the the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant. Huh? Huh? Get it? "The Women's Correctional Facility"?
[laughs and snorts; to Eric]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Power of Positivity in Life
Victor "Vic" Melling
Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.