Mr. & Mrs. Smith poster

Mr. & Mrs. Smith Quotes

"'Til death do us part."

PG-13 2005 · 2h
67
Audience
Apple TV Store Rent on Apple TV Store
67
Audience
13 quotes
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Consequences of Silence and Deception
John Smith Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punch line is you die.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Button Pushing and Confidence Challenges
John Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
Jane Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Misunderstanding a Simple Question about Intimacy
Counselor How often do you have sex?
Jane I don't understand the question.
John Yeah I'm lost, is this a one to ten thing?
Jane Yeah, is, like, ten nothing or one? Cause tech- technically speaking, zero would be nothing.
Counselor How bout this week?
John Including the weekends?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Reflections on beginnings and endings
John Smith I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Secrets and Tensions in a Relationship
John I never told you, but I was married once before. Ow! Are you insane? What's wrong with you!?
[during a car chase; Jane slams on the brakes]
Jane You're what's wrong with me!
[hitting John]
John It was a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Oh, that's better! That's much better! What's her name and social security number?
[pause]
John No, you're not gonna kill her.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Trust and Unfinished Stories in Relationships
Jane Smith Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
Eddie I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Assessing Marriage Happiness on a Scale
Counselor At the scale of one to ten, how happy are you in this marriage?
Jane Eight.
[quickly]
John Wait, is ten perfectly happy or...?
Counselor Just respond instinctively.
John You ready?
[turns to Jane]
Jane Yeah.
Together Eight.
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Disagreement on Years of Marriage
John Ok, I'll go first. let me see... um... We don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.
Jane Six.
John Five or six years.
[chastened]
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Debate Over the Flawed Plan
Jane You deviated from the plan.
John The plan was flawed.
Jane The plan was not flawed.
John Anal.
Jane Organized.
John Jane, 90% of this job is instinct.
Jane Well, your instinct set off every alarm of the building.
John My instinct got the job done. It may not have been Jane Show...
Jane No! It was John Show. It was half-assed. Like Christmas, like our anniversary, like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present.
John Your fake mother's birthday present.
Jane The point is, you are always the first to break team.
John You don't want a team. You want a servant to hire.
Jane I want someone I can count on.
John Jane, there is no air around you any more.
[sigh]
Janeh Oh, what is that supposed to mean?
John That means there is no room for mistakes, whatsoever. No mistakes. No spontaneity. Who can answer that?
Jane Well, you don't have to. Because this is not even a real marriage!
Danz Who are you people?
Jane Shut up!!
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith
A Tense Exchange of Threats and Compliance
Jane Promise me to leave the town or I will blow it.
John Ok... I give up. Please blow it.
Jane Excuse me. What?
John Go on. Blow it.
Jane You think I won't?
John I think you won't.
Jane OK. Five. Four. Any last words?
John Your new curtains are hideous.
Jane Goodbye John. What the hell is this?
[Janet hit's the PC keyboard and the bomb detonates. The monitor screen blacks out.]
Janet You said Goodbye.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Adjusting to New Situations
Jane If you don't like them we can take them back.
John All right, I don't like them.
Jane You'll get used to them.
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
The Distance in Unspoken Words
Jane There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we don't say to each other. What's that called?
Marriage Counselor Marriage.
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Unusual Conflict Between Spouses
John Smith We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.