Mystery Team (2009) - Quotes

Detectives Face Unpleasant Surprises During Investigation

Jason: We are mature and legitimate detectives.

Kelly: What the hell is that smell?

Duncan: I drank dog urine.

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Customer's Pies Spark Confusion About Alzheimer's

Duncan: Our most consistent customer has Alzheimer's!

Jason: Mrs. Kimmel does not have Alzheimer's!

Duncan: She bakes fifty pies a day for her dead husband. Most of the pies are filled with soap.

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Justifying Illegal Actions for Justice

Duncan: Honestly, this is breaking and entering, okay? It's illegal.

Jason: But, it's for justice, so it's legal again.

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Unexpected Reactions and Backyard Experiments

Jason: Ah! Cinnamon sticks!

Charlie: Ah! Chinese checkers!

Duncan: Fuck! Yeah, that's right. I've been saying "fuck". Going in the backyard and trying it out.

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Unexpected Origins of an Unusual Item

Kelly: [holding the ring] Where did you find this?

Jason: It's a long story.

Charlie: No, it's not. A stripper peed it into a toilet.

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Friendship and Frustration in Awkward Moments

Jason: She's really something, it's just... I'm no good with girls.

Frank: [imitates whipping] Oh, you're whipped!

Jim: [interrupting] Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.

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Advance Payment for Services Rendered

Jordy: Paying you in advance, buddy!

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A New Nickname for a Kindred Spirit

Jordy: You remind me a little of me. You know what I'm going to call you from now on, "Little Me". I just came up with that right now.

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Bread and Boundaries: A Frustrated Outburst

Jordy: Hey! Are you squeezing that bread? We had a deal! We had a deal you fucking animal! What the f...ah dude, did you fuck this bread? You fucked the shit out of this bread. You don't fuck bread. Every fucking thing!

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Commitment to a Challenging Job

Jordy: When I was fifteen years old, when I got this job, I said to myself, "I am going to work here until the day that I kill myself.

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Suspicion at the Sardine Factory

Jamie: There's something fishy going on down at the sardine factory! I think it's fish!

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Regret over a friend's survival from cancer

Jim: Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Expecting the Pope with Paper Plates?

Jason: Paper plates? Are you expecting the pope?

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Questioning the Use of Decorative Pillows

Jason: Decorative pillows? What is this, the White House?

A Farewell to a Dreaming Hobo

Duncan: Goodnight sweet hobo. May your bindle be heavy with treasures, but your heart be light with song.

Consequences of Hiding Evidence from Authorities

Duncan: We're keeping evidence from the police, okay? We could go to jail! You know what happens in jail? No T.V.!

Anticipating a Long Night Ahead

Duncan: Looks like we've got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.

Debating the merits of a dinosaur thesis

Duncan: Sorry I'm late, everybody. My science teacher says my thesis needs to prove something... but I think listing all the dinosaurs proves there was a lot of dinosaurs.

Explanation for Eric's Absence from Playground

Duncan: If any teachers ask where Eric went, tell them that three grown-ups took him off the playground to teach him a lesson about sticking his finger in things.