21 quotes
Locked Door and Clever Dog
Duncan
The door's locked! McGinty, you clever dog!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bread and Boundaries: A Frustrated Outburst
Jordy
Hey! Are you squeezing that bread? We had a deal! We had a deal you fucking animal! What the f...ah dude, did you fuck this bread? You fucked the shit out of this bread. You don't fuck bread. Every fucking thing!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Frustration in Awkward Moments
Jason
She's really something, it's just... I'm no good with girls.
Frank
Oh, you're whipped!
[imitates whipping]
Jim
Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.
[interrupting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commitment to a Challenging Job
Jordy
When I was fifteen years old, when I got this job, I said to myself, "I am going to work here until the day that I kill myself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expecting the Pope with Paper Plates?
Jason
Paper plates? Are you expecting the pope?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret over a friend's survival from cancer
Jim
Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Detectives Face Unpleasant Surprises During Investigation
Jason
We are mature and legitimate detectives.
Kelly
What the hell is that smell?
Duncan
I drank dog urine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A New Nickname for a Kindred Spirit
Jordy
You remind me a little of me. You know what I'm going to call you from now on, "Little Me". I just came up with that right now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Expectations in a Situation
Charlie
Oh okay, so we're definitely not just taking off clothes then, gotcha'.
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Consequences of Hiding Evidence from Authorities
Duncan
We're keeping evidence from the police, okay? We could go to jail! You know what happens in jail? No T.V.!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating the merits of a dinosaur thesis
Duncan
Sorry I'm late, everybody. My science teacher says my thesis needs to prove something... but I think listing all the dinosaurs proves there was a lot of dinosaurs.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advance Payment for Services Rendered
Jordy
Paying you in advance, buddy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Justifying Illegal Actions for Justice
Duncan
Honestly, this is breaking and entering, okay? It's illegal.
Jason
But, it's for justice, so it's legal again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Use of Decorative Pillows
Jason
Decorative pillows? What is this, the White House?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Suspicion at the Sardine Factory
Jamie
There's something fishy going on down at the sardine factory! I think it's fish!
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Customer's Pies Spark Confusion About Alzheimer's
Duncan
Our most consistent customer has Alzheimer's!
Jason
Mrs. Kimmel does not have Alzheimer's!
Duncan
She bakes fifty pies a day for her dead husband. Most of the pies are filled with soap.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Anticipating a Long Night Ahead
Duncan
Looks like we've got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions and Backyard Experiments
Jason
Ah! Cinnamon sticks!
Charlie
Ah! Chinese checkers!
Duncan
Fuck! Yeah, that's right. I've been saying "fuck". Going in the backyard and trying it out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Origins of an Unusual Item
Kelly
Where did you find this?
[holding the ring]
Jason
It's a long story.
Charlie
No, it's not. A stripper peed it into a toilet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Farewell to a Dreaming Hobo
Duncan
Goodnight sweet hobo. May your bindle be heavy with treasures, but your heart be light with song.
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Explanation for Eric's Absence from Playground
Duncan
If any teachers ask where Eric went, tell them that three grown-ups took him off the playground to teach him a lesson about sticking his finger in things.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.