Naked (1994) - Quotes

Louise: How did you get here?

Johnny: Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday.

Jeremy: You're very beautiful, aren't you?

Sophie: Am I?

Jeremy: In a quirky sort of way.

Poster man: Shift.

Johnny: It's all goin very well.

Poster man: Shift out the fuckin way, will you?

Johnny: [''poster man continues to stick up 'cancelled' posters''; ''poster man starts to stride away''; ''the poster man hits him''] No, I like Laurel and Hardy, you know, although apparently they didn't get on in real life, you know, another illusion shattered. Sorry about that pal, it's just I've ad a lot of bad experience with walls, you know, what with talking to them and climbing them, and me dad's driven me up a good few of them in is time, you know what I mean? But I think I've got the secret. The saucy little secret, this solipsistic, sagacious little secret is just, you got, you just gotta bang your fuckin head against them. Just crack the old pate. Are you with me?! Ave you got it? And that's it, that's the key to enlightenment, which is, it's like that's why, it's like such a potent motif of civilization – it's the wall. It's like the, the Great Wall of China, and the Wall of Jericho and the Berlin Wall, and the Wailin Wall. Now you see the Jews, they've almost got it, an't they? What with the old rockin and that, and you know, just that six inches away and they'd be there, they'd have won the fuckin race, they'll be there, you with me? What is all this, anyway? What are you doin'? Cancel everythin'. In the beginnin there was the Word, and the word was cancelled'. D'you get like satisfaction out of this? D'you think you're makin a contribution? You're like sort of publicly promulgatin vacuities? Are you with me? Fuckin hell! Oh, that's it! Blank it all out! Blank it all out till you just atrophy and die of fuckin indifference. Can I show you somethin', pal? You see that at the top of your legs? That's your arse and that's your fuckin elbow! Do you want to write it down or s–

Louise: Well, I don't know if I want to get married, but I wouldn't say no to a proper relationship.

Sophie: What is a proper relationship?

Louise: Living with someone who talks to ya after they've bonked ya.

Johnny: Bonjour.

Brian: What's goin on? What're you doin ere?

Johnny: [''takes a step to the left''; ''steps back''] Well, you see. I was over ere , like this, but that didn't work for me, so I thought I'd try over here , but I don't think there's much future in this one either.

Louise: So what happened? Were you bored in Manchester?

Johnny: Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody – you're all so bored. You've ad nature explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've ad the living body explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've ad the universe explained to you, and you're bored with it. So now you just want cheap thrills and like plenty of em, and it dun matter ow tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new, as long as it's new, as long as it flashes and fucking bleeps in forty different colours. Well, whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin bored.

Sophie: So, are you Louise's boyfriend?

Johnny: No.

Sophie: Oh, right. What, you're just, like, a mate?

Johnny: Primate.

Sophie: You must be the missing link then.

Johnny: Yeah, that's me.

Sophie: You're not gonna tell me your name.

Johnny: No.

Sophie: I'm not gonna tell you mine neither.

Johnny: All right. We'll be strangers.

Brian: Yes, it is a boring job. Bloody boring, actually. But all you can see is the tip of the iceberg, the present, the tedious here and now. What you're incapable of seeing is the rest of time, the rest of the iceberg, past and the future – my future – which is a very interesting place to be. The good thing about this job is that it gives me time and space to contemplate the future at my leisure, whilst the city sleeps, free from the cacophonous curiosity of the hoi polloi. So, you see, it's not a boring job. And I'm not boring either.

Sophie: You shouldn't stick anything up your cunt that you can't put in your mouth.

Sophie: I don't know what they want from you half the time. What they start off liking you for, they end up hating you for. Don't like you if you're strong. Don't like you if you're weak. Hate you if you're clever, hate you if you're stupid. They don't know what they want.

Johnny: I know it's a bit cheeky but, er, I'm a cheeky young monkey!

Johnny: Resolve is never stronger in the morning, after the night it was never weaker.

Johnny: Do you think you can recapture your youth by fuckin it? You don't want to fuck me, you'll catch something cruel.

Johnny: You see, the thing is, Brian, that God is a hateful god. Must be, because if God is good, then why is there evil in the world? Why is there pain and hate and greed and war? Doesn't make sense. But if God is a nasty bastard, then you can say, "Why is there good in the world? Why is there love and hope and joy?" Well, let's face it. Good exists in order to be fucked up by evil. The very existence of good enables evil to flourish. Therefore, God is bad. And it doesn't matter how many past or future existences you have, because they're all gonna be riddled with grief and anguish and sickness and death. You see, Brian, God doesn't love you. God despises you. So there's no hope, and mankind is just a component of the device by which the devil creates itself. Are you with me? You see, what I'm saying, basically, is... you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. And humanity is just a cracked egg. And the omelet stinks.

Johnny: Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into the frog? Of course it didn't. And when that first frog shimmied out of the water and employed its vocal chords in order to attract a mate or to retard a predator, do you think that that frog ever imagined that that incipient croak would evolve into all the languages of the world, into all the literature of the world? Of course it fucking didn't. And just as that froggy could never possibly have conceived of Shakespeare, so we can never possibly imagine our destiny.

Johnny: It's funny being inside, innit? Cause when you are inside, you're still actually outside, aren't ya? And then you can say, when you're outside, you're inside, because you're always inside your head.

Johnny: [''repeated line''] Are you with me?