32 quotes
Kip's Suggestion for Gold Bracelets
Kip
How bout some gold bracelets?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kip's Confidence in Love and Friendship
Kip
Lafawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Love Declaration in the Digital Age
Kip
Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever...We met in a chat room, now our love can fully bloom...Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me "salvivate"...Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see...But I still love technology...Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to Heaven above...always and forever, always and forever...Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever...
[singing to Lafawnduh after they are pronounced husband and wife]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pedro's Vision for School Spirit
Pedro
I don't have much to say, but I think it would be good to have some ] brought to the high school, to guard the hallway and to bring us good luck. ] is a good one. My Aunt Concha has seen him. And we have a great ] schedule lined up, and I'd like to see more of that. If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you.
[his class president campaign speech; [w:Santo (art)|Holy Santos; [w:Holy Infant of Atocha|El Santo Niño de Atocha; [w:National FFA Organization|FFA]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kip Expresses Frustration Over Lack of Photos
Kip
I'm just getting kinda TO'd. I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncle Rico's Opinion on Billowy's
Uncle Rico
Billowy's good.
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Summer's Vision for Class President
Summer
Well, I never thought I would make it here today. I would make a great class president because I promise to put two new pop machines in the cafeteria, and I'm also gonna get a glitter Bonne Bell dispenser for all the girls bathrooms. Oh, and we're gonna get new cheerleading uniforms. Anyway, I think I'd be a great class president. So, who wants to eat chiminichangas next year? Not me. See, with me it will be summer all year long. Vote for Summer.
[her class president campaign speech]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rex Kwon Do Program Overview
Rex
Now, in addition to what you just saw, if you study with my eight-week program, you're gonna learn these things. First off, at Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flyin solo. You need somebody watchin your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan here? Take a look at what I'm wearin', people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! Now, for only $300 dollars, you can sign up right now for my eight-week program.
[gestures at Napoleon; points to his American flag pants; points to a photo of his blonde, tan, muscular body-builder wife]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kip's Ventures with Uncle Rico
Kip
I've been out making some sweet moolah with Uncle Rico.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncle Rico's Football Aspirations and Regrets
Uncle Rico
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?...Yeah...Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncle Rico Offers to Share His Video
Uncle Rico
Hey, you guys wanna see my video?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kip's Plea for Personal Space
Kip
Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruising my neck meat!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introducing Rex Kwon Do Self-Defense Program
Rex
My name is Rex. If you study with my eight-week program, you will learn the system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons fighting in the Octagon. It's called Rex Kwon Do. I need a volunteer...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovery of Arrowheads in the Creek Bed
Lyle
Over there in that creek bed I found a couple of Shoshoni arrowheads.
[making small talk]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncle Rico's Inquiry About the Dealio
Uncle Rico
How does the dealio sound now?
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Rex Calls for His Dog
Rex
C'MERE, BOY!
[to Rico, after he arrives home to find him trying to sell herbal breast enhancers to Starla]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Respect Your Authority Figure
Rex
Bow to your sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Assistance with Arms
Rex
Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kip's Unexpected Reaction to a Mishap
Kip
Geez, I think you ripped my mole off.
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Kip's Poetic Admiration for Sandy Hair
Kip
I love the way your sandy hair floats in the air...To me it's like a lullaby...I'm just flying by...Oh so high...like a kite...tied to a stake.
[whispering while typing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Napoleon's Creative Current Event Presentation
Teacher
Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon
Last week, Japanese scientists explaced...placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Court Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its residents, and all those who seek a peaceful existence with our underwater ally.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rex Kwon Do Self-Defense Invitation
Rex
I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man. So come down today for your free-trial lesson!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncle Rico's Concern for Grandma's Injury
Uncle Rico
Your grandma took a spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Online Conversations and Jealousy
Kip
You're just jealous cause I've been chatting online with babes all day.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Summer Memory Recalled
Don
Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Freedom in Daily Choices
Vern
What are you going to do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon
Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
[ties a string to his action figure and chucks it out the window]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Guide to Handling Situations
Rex
Just break the wrist, and walk away. Break the wrist; walk away.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncle Rico Questions Kip's Knowledge of Cyberspace
Uncle Rico
Kip, I reckon you know a lot about...cyberspace?
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Uncle Rico's Practical Parenting Advice
Uncle Rico
Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack! What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Challenges of Smooth Operations
Lyle
Nothin on here works smooth.
[fumbles with shotgun as he prepares to slaughter cow]
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Deb's Milk
Napoleon Dynamite
[referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
Advice on Managing Arguments and Health
Lyle
I would like to give you this advice that a fellow gave me some years ago. He said, "When an argument arises, if you go outside and take a nice walk, you'll calm down and you can come back, and it won't be an argument. And you'll find that it helps your health; all that fresh air and exercise will do you a lot of good.
[officiating a wedding]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.