Hat or Seat Cushion Choice
Receptionist: [after telling Woody he hasn't won the money]
I can give you a free gift. Would you like a hat or a seat cushion?
David Grant:
Dad? Do you want a hat or a seat cushion?
Woody Grant:
I'll take a hat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Meatloaf at Dinner
Kate Grant:
Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?
Woody Grant:
Cause I like it.
Waitress:
What can I get you?
Woody Grant:
Do you have any meatloaf?
Waitress:
No, that's only part of our lunch specials.
Kate Grant:
He'll have the chicken.
Waitress:
Fried or grilled?
Woody Grant:
Fried.
Kate Grant:
He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?
Waitress:
Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.
Kate Grant:
Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.
David Grant:
I'll have the tilapia.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Community Service and Consequences
Aunt Flo:
Martha, where's Bart and Cole?
Aunt Martha:
Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets.
Kate Grant:
It's community service; for Bart's rape.
Aunt Martha:
Sexual assault!
Kate Grant:
What's the difference?
Aunt Martha:
A huge difference... it's... well... the boys can explain it to you better than I can...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disagreement Over Money Among Family Members
Aunt Betty:
Now Kate, we only want what's fair and what's fair is if Woody lends us back some money.
Kate Grant:
You can all go fuck yourselves!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Belief and Reality in Communication
Receptionist: [about Woody]
Does he have Alzheimer's?
David Grant:
No, he just believes what people tell him.
Receptionist:
That's too bad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Tensions and Harsh Memories
Kate Grant: [looking at graves]
There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore!
David Grant:
Mom!
Kate Grant:
Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut.
David Grant:
C'mon...
Kate Grant:
I'm just telling you the truth!
David Grant:
Where's your family?
Kate Grant: [approaches another tombstone]
Oh, they're over in the Catholic cemetery. Catholics wouldn't be caught dead around all these damn Lutherans. Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin, he was a drunk. One time we were wrestling and he felt me up. Grabbed a handful of boob and Woody was right there and didn't have a clue, did ya Woody?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Small Town Memories and Mischievous Youth
Kate Grant: [to Woody]
That's Ed Pegram singing. Did you know that he was always trying to get in my bloomers?
David Grant:
Jesus Mom! Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
Kate Grant:
These boys grow up staring at the rear ends of cows and pigs, it's only natural that a real woman will get them chafing their pants.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern for Appearance on Television
Ross Grant: [in a physical altercation with his cousin]
Hey, watch the face, okay? I'm on TV.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret Over Missed Opportunities in Life
Kate Grant: [lifts her dress and flashes a tombstone]
You see this? You could have had all this to yourself, and look what you missed out on.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
City Girl's Dismissal of Rural Life
Kate Grant:
I ain't fiddlin with no cow titties. I'm a city girl!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret and Reflection on Aspirations
Kate Grant: [upon learning Woody has "won" a million dollars]
I never knew the son of a bitch even wanted to be a millionaire! He should have thought about that years ago and worked for it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call to Connect with Family
Woody Grant: [to David]
Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
