15 quotes
Fantasies and Reality in Everyday Life
Ramona
Now, I'm just going to go under the covers and take a little inventory.
Earl Keese
You're really wonderful!
Ramona
That's what I've been trying to tell you. Is it so hard having your fantasies come to life?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Speculating on Unexpected Parenthood
Vic
We haven't any children, unless Ramona just pumped one out and didn't tell me about it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Women from Different Perspectives
Vic
Believe me, I know women - upside down and backwards, which is not a bad way to know em, huh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Shower Experiences
Ramona
God, does it always shrivel up like that when you shower?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Leads to Accusations Between Characters
Ramona
He tried to pork me.
Earl Keese
Pork you? What?
Ramona
You know you did.
Earl Keese
I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona
Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese
Enid... help me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choosing to leave the dead zone behind
Vic
Stay here on the outer limits of the dead zone? Nothing personal, but life at the end of the road just ain't for Captain Vic and Empress Ramona. Sorry, folks, but you can color us gone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings About Appearance and Identity
Ramona
I don't care about your weight or your false teeth.
Earl Keese
I haven't got false teeth!
Ramona
I'm sorry, I guess they just look false.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflecting on Past Friendships
Ramona
I was real friendly with a boy named Earl once - well, twice really.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Unconventional Flavors
Vic
Hey, Earl, want some of your daughter's panties? They come in four flavors; banana, peach, mint and, of course, CHERRY.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing the Unexpected in Chaos
Earl Keese
This is crazy... but there's something so right about it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dispute Over Culinary Jealousy
Vic
In light of Earl's feelings, I think it would be best if we left.
Enid Keese
Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down. Let's finish this magnificent meat. Don't worry about Earl. He'll get over his feelings.
Vic
He spurned my sauce!
Enid Keese
No, he loves your sauce. He's just jealous, he can't cook.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request to go to the swamp
Vic
We'll get your jacket later. Right now, take me to THE SWAMP.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Relationships and Reality
Vic
We might have a wonderful relationship. But then, as Arthur Bremer once said: "How many things go right in this crazy world?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Boundaries in the Home
Vic
We're waiting, or do I have to pound it out of you?
Earl Keese
Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!
Vic
Why would I?
Earl Keese
You just did.
Vic
I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.
Earl Keese
I never say it.
Vic
I don't blame you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Baby's Behavior and Care
Vic
Old Earl here was worried about Baby.
Enid Keese
Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.
Vic
Don't worry, I will.
Enid Keese
They spoil him awfully.
[to Earl]
Vic
Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.