Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Quotes

Norah Are you sad that we missed it?

Nick We didn't miss it. This is it. C'mon. You wanna go home?

Nick Your dad owns this place?

Nick Is he this man?

Norah Yeah.

Nick Wow! So, what is he? Like, a former hippie, current yuppie, spoon-feeding the masses the same old garbage? Stop me at any time.

Norah Yes.

Nick Yeah.

Norah Yes! I'm gonna use that in my graduation speech. That's, like, amazing.

Homeless Man What's up, friend? How you doing?

Nick Good. I was just gonna go in...

Homeless Man You walked right in here.

Nick I didn't mean to.

Homeless Man You're like a little canary in skinny jeans.

Nick I was gonna go in to look for my friend.

Homeless Man You got friends right here. Me and Switzerland are here for you, baby. Let me ask you a question. You ever hook up with a dog?

Nick No. What? Like an an... A dog, like a pet? No.

Homeless Man Don't. It's not worth it. I like you so much.

Nick I'm running away. I'm running.

Homeless Man Run away. Run away, little canary.

Thom Would someone mind telling me where we're going?

Norah You know how some people like to eat at the same places?

Nick Yeah.

Norah Well Caroline likes to barf in the same places.

Nick You don't know what it's like to be straight, OK? It's... awful.

Nick Well, you're two penises short of a ] reimagination band!

Norah Hi.

Dev Try this.

Norah What?

Dev Let's just say we're not the biggest fans of his dreaded ex? And we've decided you're to be his salvation. Besides, we saw you two making out, and we think you're the one. We just need to get you out of that sports bra.

Norah This isn't a sports bra.

Dev Come on. We're all ladies here.

Norah Okay.

Dev Ohh! It's better than the uni-boob.

Norah This isn't going to work, okay. He's hung up on Tris.

Dev You look gorgeous. And let me tell you something, Nicky is definitely worth the underwire. He just needs a little push, that's all.

Norah Are you crazy?!?

Nick I don't know what I did to you to make you so angry.

Norah Nothing! You're just... you're ridiculous.

Nick You don't even know me.

Norah I know you, I know your make.

Nick My make?

Norah You're an emo punk bandboy and you're obsessed with Tris. They could make action figures out of you - drummer not included.

Nick It's funny that Tris never mentioned you considering what good friends you are, but she did mention some frigid jealous JAP who was completely jealous of her and who was a complete bitch.

Norah Oh, jealous?!?

Nick Yeah, and so now I think I know exactly who she was referring to.

Norah Let's dance, douchebag!

Nick OK, sweetheart, you think you have something...

Norah I AM NOT JEALOUS!!

Random Guy No man, she's not jealous.

Nick You two must be great friends.

Norah Yeah, I am a great friend. It's always been like this. I'm the squire in Caroline's quest for attention.

Nick I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.

Norah It reminds me of this part of Judaism that I really like. It's called ]. It says that, um, the world's been broken into pieces and it's everybody's job to find them and put them back together again.

Nick Well, maybe we're the pieces. Maybe we're not supposed to find the pieces. Maybe we are the pieces.

Caroline Um... hi. I'm Caroline. What's your name?... You know what, that's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's been like one of those nights, you know? I was with my friend Norah, who you don't know, but you'd really like her because everybody likes Norah and she... left me tonight which is - she never does that and then I was kidnapped. And then, she... usually when I go home with her she... she makes me a turkey sandwich when I get home, but I might never get home, you know? And I'm so tired. Is that a turkey sandwich?

Nick So what is your favorite song?

Norah Well my favorite verse was "The way you're moving in your sleep, the way you look before you leap. The strange illusions that you keep. You don't know that I'm noticing.

Nick I wrote that.

Norah If you don't have a drummer, then why do you have drums you fistful of assholes?

Dev Fistful of assholes! I like it.

Nick I just feel like she's messing with me.

Thom Who are you talking about?

Nick Right now, Norah. No, Tris. Tris.

Thom You just haven't figured it out yet, have you.

Nick What?

Thom The big picture!

Nick I guess not.

Thom ].

Nick What about them?

Thom This. Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand.

Norah I also have a confession.

Nick What?

Norah Before Tal, I never really... kissed anyone until tonight.

Nick Really?

Norah Yeah. Unless you count Becca Weiner at camp when I was 13.

Nick I do! I do count Becca Weiner!

Norah You do?

Nick I don't know who wouldn't. You'd have to be a fool not to count her. How long were you guys together?

Norah Three campfire-y nights. Oh, me and Tal. I knew that.

Norah What did you see in her? I could floss with that girl.

Nick This is your friend that we're talking about?

Norah OK, so I'm the bad guy now, is that what we're doing, I'm the bad guy?

Nick If you really wanna know, she actually supported our music and our band when nobody else did, not that it's any of your business.

Norah OK, forget it, I can't do this.

Nick Do what?

Norah Just make a U-turn and take me back to Ludlow, alright. I'll find my own way...

Nick Perfect.

Norah ...Because I refuse to be the goody bag in your pity party, NICK.

Nick You don't have to yell, it's not a train station... it's a tiny car.