A Getaway Turns into Trouble
Tagline:
All they wanted was a little getaway. All they got was nothing but trouble.
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Gratitude for an Unusual Gift
Chris:
Thanks for the espresso maker... and the bag of shit.
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A Frustrated Comeback in Conversation
J.P.:
Go suck a bug.
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A Brazillionaire's Memory Is Unforgettable
Chris:
I should have known. A Brazillionaire never forgets.
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Journey to Atlantic City Begins in Trunk
Fausto:
Where are we going?
Chris:
We're going to Atlantic City, Fausto. Get in the trunk.
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Unexpected Efficiency from a One-Eyed Immigrant
Mike:
Evening, Mr. Throne.
Chris: [''getting out of the car'']
110 blocks in less than 15 minutes, not bad for a one-eyed Russian immigrant.
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A Request to Remove Footwear from Bedpan
J.P.:
Get your Eye-talian loafers out of my bedpan!
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Unexpected Humor in a Party Setting
J.P.:
You really put the pin in the party hog now, girl!
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Life and Death in Critical Moments
J.P.:
If it was an ambulance you got a chance, if it's in a hearse, it's got to be worse!
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Financial Insights Amidst Vintage Steel Discussion
Chris:
Alvin, I was just thinking you've got enough vintage steel around here to make a few 1000 Toyotas. Ever think of selling the whole place to the Japanese?
J.P.:
There you go. Does the Pope wear a hat? Was Sergeant York's mother an angel? And will a banker grope for money?
Chris:
I'm not a banker, I'm a financial publisher.
J.P.:
Well, all I know is in 17 after they shipped me off to fight, some New York financier rolled into here one day and hog-glowsered and tub-wankled my grandfather into mining out the whole town in exchange for shares in something called the United Coke Company. Do you know who those stock certificates are worth today?
J.P.:
JUST ABOUT THE FINEST OUTHOUSE WALLPAPER YOU'VE EVER SEEN! We were forced to become what you drove through today; a burnt out coal field and the biggest icebox graveyard this side of the Ohio foundry belt! And that's why I *never* let a banker go!
Fausto:
So your grandpa made a lousy deal, is that our problem?
Diane:
Judge, that's a very tragic, tragic story.
J.P.:
I believe it is.
Renalda:
You should do a book.
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Fausto's Disgust with Unconventional Company
Fausto:
You people are sick, wicked, funky, misanthropic, co-dependent animals! And I won't have my sister, who was once the Queen of the Mardi Gras, sitting at a table with a pickle-shooting train!
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Hawaiian Punch: A Refreshing Road Trip Treat
J.P.: [''plunges an oil spout into a punch drink can'']
Welcome to Supper! How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?
Chris:
Thank you, Judge. You know, there's nothing better at the end of a long day on the road than a nice warm glass of Hawaiian Punch.
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Listening to Unusual Demands
Diane:
Let's just be quiet and let him do his little thing and we'll be on our way.
J.P.:
Oh, I will let you be on your way. And when you go...
J.P.:
THE CAT'S EYES'LL SPIN! NOW, LISTEN!
Chris:
Okay, we'll listen!
J.P.: [''calm again'']
Hey, hey, ha! Hoh ha! Heh, heh, heh, heh! Hoola, Hoola, Hoola! The Boola Boola Boola! Look who's got the front seats to the Mexican hat dance now! Just like a bunch of spiders in a birthday cake!
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Wealthy Habits of Brazillionaires Explained
Chris:
They're Brazillionaires, they have breakfast at 2:00 PM in the afternoon.
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Expectations Based on Possessions
Fausto:
You've got a BMW. Act like it!
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A Conversation About Language and Decorum
Diane: [''passing "No Cussing" sign'']
Oh, and no cussing.
Chris:
Oh, shit.
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Comparing Frustration to Yellow Storms
J.P.:
You know, you are worse than a week of yellow shitstorms.
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Consequences of Minor Offenses and Occupations
Chris:
Come on, death for running a stop sign?
J.P.:
*And* for being a banker! That's the double death.
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