Name: Nuns on the Run
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Released: 1990-03-16
Duration: 89 min
Rating: 5.9
Cast: Eric Idle, Robbie Coltrane, Camille Coduri, Janet Suzman, Doris Hare

Nuns on the Run

Gratitude for Divine Guidance and Support

Sister Superior My Lord, thou hast always moved in mysterious ways thy wonders to perform, but this latest wonder takes some beating even from you. So what we want to say is thanks a million for sending us Euphemia and Inviolata. And keep an eye on them, won't you? They need you. Amen.

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Nuns on the Run

Confrontation Over a Shooting Incident

Brian Hope You shot Loui, you asshole!

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Nuns on the Run

A Humorous Reminder of Personal Belongings

Charlie McManus Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

[teaching Brian how to cross himself]

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Nuns on the Run

The Ethics of Violence and Morality

Brian McManus Hold it Don't shoot.

Morley Why not?

Brian McManus Because it's wrong

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Nuns on the Run

The Trinity Explained Through Humor

Charlie McManus You've got the Father, the Son and the holy ghost. But the three are one - like a shamrock, my old priest used to say. "Three leaves, but one leaf." Now, the father sent down the son, who was love, and then when he went away, he sent down the holy spirit, who came down in the form of a...

Brian Hope You told me already - a ghost.

Charlie McManus No, a dove.

Brian Hope The dove was a ghost?

Charlie McManus No, the ghost was a dove.

Brian Hope Let me try and summarize this: God is his son. And son is his God. But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove. And they all send each other, even though they're all one and the same thing.

Charlie McManus Got it.

Brian Hope What?

Charlie McManus You really could be a nun!

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Nuns on the Run

A Warning Against Returning Home

Charlie McManus Don't come back here. Case may send Abbot and Morley to find you love Brian." "Don't come back here" is a bit like saying "Do not read this note

Brian Hope Well you write it then

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Nuns on the Run

Disguises for Unnoticed Passage

Charlie McManus Why?

Brian hope Because we need to look just like them if we want to pass un-noticed

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Nuns on the Run

Unexpected Revelation of Faith's Condition

Brian Hope/Sister Euphemia How is she?

Faith's father Oh she's got a bullet wound

Brian Hope/Sister Euphemia Bullet wound?

Faith's father Apparentley she's been involved with some gangster. Called Brian.

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Nuns on the Run

Unexpected Confrontation in a Betting Discussion

Book Betting for Profit

Sister Mary ACK! MEN! MEN!

Mother Superior What is the meaning of all this?

Mother Superior OK Sister Mary, hand it over.

Sister Mary But, I did see two men break in...Defeated, she surrenders a bottle of whiskey to Mother Superior

Mother Superior Sister Mary, you have more work to do.

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Nuns on the Run

Concerns About Leaving the Group

Norm Guys, I do not think you have to worry. I was blunt and told Case I wanted out.

Brian You told Case that? What did he say?

Norm He said he was OK with me wanting out!

Charlie Poor Norm. I talked to him this afternoon.

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Nuns on the Run

Discussion of Death and Weight Training

Brian Hope What did he die of?

Casey He wanted to work for somebody else

Charlie McManus Oh natural causes

Casey I want you take him for some special weight training

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Nuns on the Run

Divine Management in a Busy World

Brian Hope/Sister Euphemia God is very busy. He can't control all the details. He's running a franchise operation.

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Nuns on the Run

Injury Inquiry Between Sister and Faith

Sister Superior What happened to your arm?

Faith I'm not sure. I fell.

Sister Superior It looks like a bullet wound to me.

Faith How would you know?

Sister Superior I've seen bullet wounds. I've been a missionary.

Faith Where?

Sister Superior East L. A.

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Nuns on the Run

The Complexity of Explaining the Trinity

Brian Hope Explain the Trinity.

Charlie McManus Hmmm... well, it's a bit of a bugger.

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Nuns on the Run

Reasons for Concern in Nuns on the Run

Charlie McManus Lots of reasons

Brian Hope Name three

Charlie McManus Case,The Triads, The Police

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Nuns on the Run

Misunderstandings in a Confrontation

Triad gang member Why you follow us?

Brian Eh?

Triad gang member I said, why you follow us?

Brian Dunno what you talking about?

Triad gang member Are you police men?

Charlie Do we look like police men?

Triad gang member No, good. So, if you follow us again, I chop your arms off, okay?

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Nuns on the Run

Desperate Plans Amid Dangerous Threats

Charlie McManus Great. Now if Case doesn't kill us the Triads will

Brian Hope You know what we ought to do? Steal the money for ourselves

Charlie McManus Oh brilliant. Then we'll have Case trying to gun us down and The Triads trying to chop us up.

Nuns on the Run

Gratitude for a New Job Opportunity

Faith Thanks for getting me this job Brian! That last place was run by gangsters.

Nuns on the Run

Value of a Night's Rest

Charlie McManus What does she do?

Brian Hope She sleeps for 10 quid.

Charlie McManus Only 10 quid? Why, I would give her at least 50!

Nuns on the Run

Identity Confusion in Unexpected Encounters

Sister Mary You know, I saw two men last night.

Charlie McManus/Sister Inviolata Oh, I'm sure it was just a nightmare.

Sister Mary Yes, but… was it real? Hmm, your face.

Sister Mary It's all stubby! You've got a beard!! YOU'RE A MAN!!!

Nuns on the Run

Debating Celibacy and Original Sin in Christianity

Father Seamus Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?

Charlie McManus I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All right. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.

Father Seamus Ah, ha... ha!

Charlie McManus No. No, it's the doctrine of original sin. You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus. who was perfect of course. And he was sent to save us. But how could he save us unless we're sinning? So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to Heaven. That's how Christianity works. That's why it suits so many people.

Nuns on the Run

Debating Church Rules and Modern Changes

Brian Hope I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.

Charlie McManus No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.

Brian Hope Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?

Charlie McManus Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!

Nuns on the Run

The Commercialization of Faith and Need

Brian Hope Look, Charlie. Some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.

Charlie McManus The church isn't selling anything, Brian.

Brian Hope Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling, how did it get to be so rich? Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need, there's more money to be made.

Charlie McManus You think so?

Brian Hope Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Nuns on the Run

Faith and Practicality in a Crisis

Charlie McManus I think God's gonna get us out of this alive

Brian Hope Well I hope you won't be relying on him totally. Cause we've still gotta break into that bleeding cupboard

Nuns on the Run Quotes