Nuns on the Run (1990) - Quotes

Unexpected Revelation of Faith's Condition

Brian Hope/Sister Euphemia: How is she?

Faith's father: Oh she's got a bullet wound

Brian Hope/Sister Euphemia: Bullet wound?

Faith's father: Apparentley she's been involved with some gangster. Called Brian.

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Desperate Plans Amid Dangerous Threats

Charlie McManus: Great. Now if Case doesn't kill us the Triads will

Brian Hope: You know what we ought to do? Steal the money for ourselves

Charlie McManus: Oh brilliant. Then we'll have Case trying to gun us down and The Triads trying to chop us up.

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Faith and Practicality in a Crisis

Charlie McManus: I think God's gonna get us out of this alive

Brian Hope: Well I hope you won't be relying on him totally. Cause we've still gotta break into that bleeding cupboard

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Identity Confusion in Unexpected Encounters

Sister Mary: You know, I saw two men last night.

Charlie McManus/Sister Inviolata: Oh, I'm sure it was just a nightmare.

Sister Mary: Yes, but… was it real? Hmm, your face.

Sister Mary: It's all stubby! You've got a beard!! YOU'RE A MAN!!!

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Unexpected Confrontation in a Betting Discussion

Book: Betting for Profit

Sister Mary: ACK! MEN! MEN!

Mother Superior: What is the meaning of all this?

Mother Superior: OK Sister Mary, hand it over.

Sister Mary: But, I did see two men break in...Defeated, she surrenders a bottle of whiskey to Mother Superior

Mother Superior: Sister Mary, you have more work to do.

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Reasons for Concern in Nuns on the Run

Charlie McManus: Lots of reasons

Brian Hope: Name three

Charlie McManus: Case,The Triads, The Police

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The Ethics of Violence and Morality

Brian McManus: Hold it Don't shoot.

Morley: Why not?

Brian McManus: Because it's wrong

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Discussion of Death and Weight Training

Brian Hope: What did he die of?

Casey: He wanted to work for somebody else

Charlie McManus: Oh natural causes

Casey: I want you take him for some special weight training

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Disguises for Unnoticed Passage

Charlie McManus: Why?

Brian hope: Because we need to look just like them if we want to pass un-noticed

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A Warning Against Returning Home

Charlie McManus: Don't come back here. Case may send Abbot and Morley to find you love Brian." "Don't come back here" is a bit like saying "Do not read this note

Brian Hope: Well you write it then

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Gratitude for Divine Guidance and Support

Sister Superior: My Lord, thou hast always moved in mysterious ways thy wonders to perform, but this latest wonder takes some beating even from you. So what we want to say is thanks a million for sending us Euphemia and Inviolata. And keep an eye on them, won't you? They need you. Amen.

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A Humorous Reminder of Personal Belongings

Charlie McManus: [teaching Brian how to cross himself] Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

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The Trinity Explained Through Humor

Charlie McManus: You've got the Father, the Son and the holy ghost. But the three are one - like a shamrock, my old priest used to say. "Three leaves, but one leaf." Now, the father sent down the son, who was love, and then when he went away, he sent down the holy spirit, who came down in the form of a...

Brian Hope: You told me already - a ghost.

Charlie McManus: No, a dove.

Brian Hope: The dove was a ghost?

Charlie McManus: No, the ghost was a dove.

Brian Hope: Let me try and summarize this: God is his son. And son is his God. But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove. And they all send each other, even though they're all one and the same thing.

Charlie McManus: Got it.

Brian Hope: What?

Charlie McManus: You really could be a nun!

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The Complexity of Explaining the Trinity

Brian Hope: Explain the Trinity.

Charlie McManus: Hmmm... well, it's a bit of a bugger.

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Debating Church Rules and Modern Changes

Brian Hope: I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.

Charlie McManus: No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.

Brian Hope: Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?

Charlie McManus: Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!

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Confrontation Over a Shooting Incident

Brian Hope: You shot Loui, you asshole!

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The Commercialization of Faith and Need

Brian Hope: Look, Charlie. Some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.

Charlie McManus: The church isn't selling anything, Brian.

Brian Hope: Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling, how did it get to be so rich? Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need, there's more money to be made.

Charlie McManus: You think so?

Brian Hope: Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

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Debating Celibacy and Original Sin in Christianity

Father Seamus: Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?

Charlie McManus: I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All right. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.

Father Seamus: Ah, ha... ha!

Charlie McManus: No. No, it's the doctrine of original sin. You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus. who was perfect of course. And he was sent to save us. But how could he save us unless we're sinning? So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to Heaven. That's how Christianity works. That's why it suits so many people.