Ocean's Thirteen (2007) - Quotes

Benedict: You think this is funny?

Linus: Have you guys been talking to my dad?

Danny: Why would we do that?

Linus: That's not a "no.

Danny: Look...

Rusty: He just wanted to know how the nose was working for you.

Linus: Oh, I knew it, man! He just can't leave it alone! What did you tell him?

Rusty: Oh, I told him the nose plays.

Linus: The nose does play.

Rusty: The nose plays.

Danny: It's great, it's huge.

Rusty: [notices Danny teary-eyed] Are you alright?

Danny: Yeah, um, I just bit into a pepper.

Rusty: [sees the television is on Oprah, where she gives a family a new house] Is that... are you... are you watching Oprah? With a bottle of wine? Did you TiVo this?

Danny: I was reading the paper.

Rusty: [unconvinced] With the sound at full volume?

Danny: [Rusty nods] It's...not just the kids. I mean, I'm happy for the kids. How's it going in Mexico?

Rusty: [pause] Well, Turk's there. Are they really going to build her a new home?

Danny: Yeah, for the whole family.

Basher: [pretending to be a stunt biker] Mr. Bank. Do you know what Chuck Berry said every night before counting one, two, three, four?

Bank: What did he say?

Basher: [lifting a finger up for each word] Pay me my money!

Danny: [Stands with Rusty in front of the Bellagio] I remember when this used to be The Dunes. Reuben taught me to shoot craps here when I was a kid. I'd play Hard Ways and Double Sixes; he straightened me out. I was twenty...two.

Rusty: [Looks off to the side] The first time I ever met Reuben, he looked me off getting cheated at an all-dealers game at the El Rancho, then he bought me breakfast. The Sands was there, Desert Inn...

Danny: They built em smaller back then.

Rusty: They seemed big.

Danny: ...Town's changed.

Danny: Couldn't we just shut it off, you know, cut the wires?

Roman: That could work. Even better, you could just kick the plug right out of the socket!

Danny: I'm serious-

Roman: No, short of walking in with a bloody magnetron around your neck- You do know what a magnetron is?

Danny: [pause] Something that screws up the Grecco?

Roman: [laughs] Short of that...I... I can't believe I am even talking about this, because...this is a problem!

Danny: That's what I said.

Rusty: But if we could-

Roman: No, there is no if'! It can not be shut off! I mean, you need a real natural disaster, an act of God!

Rusty: But if we could beat it-

Roman: You can't.

Rusty: But if we could-

Roman: You can't.

Rusty: You could.

Roman: [gives them a look] Don't flatter.

Danny: Look, IF we could shut it off, how long would it take to reboot?

Roman: Because it's so sophisticated, 3 and a half minutes.

Danny: Might be enough.

Rusty: Pick your natural disaster.

Abigail Sponder: [Feeling a waitress' arm] I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. Turn in your uniform.

Waitress: I only gained four pounds, you can't!

Sponder: Sorry, sweetie, but your Body Mass Index is nowhere near where it's supposed to be.

Waitress: But Ms. Sponder-

Sponder: [Smugly walks off, Linus having observed the whole thing] Oh no, honey. It's your butt that's the problem.

Frank: Man, you can't fire no waitresses based on appearance, that's just unconstitutional.

Danny: IF they were waitresses.

Linus: Yeah, they're actually hired as "models who serve", so that Bank can monitor their personal appearance.

Rusty: It's a cruel, cruel practice.

Bank: This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine.

Danny: Well, I know all the guys that you'd hire to come after me, and they like me better than you.

Danny: That's your idea?

Linus: Well, we've shaken all the trees, we've looked under every rock, we've searched every... I mean... We've talked to everybody we can trust. I know it's not a great idea, but it is an idea... and I think as long as we have one idea, we shouldn't give up.

Rusty: I was really hoping to avoid that this time.

Rusty: Relationships can be...

Danny: Sure.

Rusty: But they're also...

Danny: That's right.

Danny: What did you say?

Rusty: What could I say?

Danny: Nothing.

Rusty: That's what I said.

Rusty: So then she says, "What did I do?" and I say, "What do I look like, a pancake eater?

Danny: Hmm. So you left it there on the floor?

Rusty: Right on the floor.

Danny: For how long?

Rusty: Next morning.

Danny: [nods] Good.

Rusty: Well, she said she liked surprises...

Danny: I don't think that is what she meant.

Rusty: You think?

Danny: So she dropped the remote...

Rusty: And I put the towel back on.

Danny: Well, those are the waters.

Saul: Reuben...he always was too trusting.

Danny: Is, Saul. Is.

Saul: Right, is.

Rusty: [Yen says something in Mandarin] Well, you try talking him out of it next time.

Danny: Look, Bank hurt Reuben. I know how that makes me feel. I know what that makes me want to do.

Turk: Well, I'll you what I'd do, and I don't care if it gets messy.

Virgil: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.

Livingston: And I'll inject him.

Basher: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.

Rusty: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...

Danny: But...Even though Bank stepped over the line, we need to do what is best for Reuben.

Rusty: Which means we offer Bank a "Billy Martin.

Turk: And, what? He takes it and gets away with it?

Linus: Those are the rules.

Basher: No, those are the rules for someone who understands the rules, which Bank don't. He already broke them. So he don't get the chance.

Frank: For Reuben...I think we give him a chance.

Reuben: Did you know the Inuit people send their elders out on an ice floe to die when they're too old to hunt?

Danny: Reuben, that's just a myth.

Reuben: So... where's the partner's desk gonna be?

Bank: Oh, there is no partner's desk, Reuben. You're out.

Reuben: What? Are you gonna throw me off the roof?

Bank: Well, I don't want to.

Danny: Hey, Linus.

Linus: Hey, where are Tess and Isabel?

Danny: [impatient] It's not their fight!

Linus: [defensively] Hey, whoa!

Rusty: [Meeting Danny on a plane to Vegas] What's the latest?

Danny: Nothing. They say the first 24 hours are...

Rusty: Right... Did she understand?

Danny: It's not their fight.

Rusty: Did she understand?

Danny: ...It's not their fight.

Saul Bloom: When they opened The Flamingo, one day it was closed, the next it was open. End of story. I know, I was there.

Saul Bloom: Kensington Chubb here!

Saul Bloom: Did I say I was walking away? Let's gut the sonovabitch.

Reuben Tishkoff: We'll talk about it when I'm dead.

Roman Nagel: You're analog players in a digital world. You're done.

Yen: Shit! Shit! Shit!

Saul Bloom: (Talking to Willie Bank as Kensington chubb) Well, so far, this establishment is of, Aces!

Willie Bank: You know, you're half smart, Ocean.

Willie Bank: I don't want the labor pains; I just want the baby!

Willie Bank: Oh, I don't lose. People who bet on me to lose, lose. And they lose big.

Willie Bank: [To Danny Ocean] Some people I take seriously tell me you're a serious guy.

Linus Caldwell: I'm so deep into Pepperidge I am him.

Linus Caldwell: [At the airport, homage to real life] I guess I'll see you when I see you

Linus Caldwell: [Linus is talking to his dad on the phone; Danny puts his hand out for the phone; Rusty puts his hand out for the phone; Hangs up] No, the Brody can work! What, just because you have the greatest cover known to man, you have to tell me what to do? Congratulations! No, maybe you're getting soft! No, I won't put Danny on. Or Rusty. Just–Goodbye, Dad!

Linus Caldwell: [reference to Damon's last line in Rounders] It is not a prop for prop's sake!

Rusty Ryan: [Referring to Linus' facial prop] Oh I told him that the nose plays... the nose plays.

Rusty Ryan: Could you make it any more complicated?

Rusty Ryan: [to Danny before he leaves] Next time, try keeping the weight off in between.

Danny Ocean: [to Rusty before leaving] You should settle down. Have a couple of kids.

Danny Ocean: First of all, I know the guys you'd hire to come get me, they like me better than you. Second of all, you're not going to the cops, because...well, let's face it, you're not going to the cops. Third, you shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better, Willy.