30 quotes
Call for Cold Domestic Kegs
James "Droz" Andrews
We need kegs, multiple, cold and domestic.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Utility of Gutter in Life
James "Droz" Andrews
Gutter is a tool!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Quick Hit Before Leaving
Gutter
Just one hit, then I gotta go.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Feeling of Anticipation
Pigman
Pins and needles!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Settling the Score Over Milkbones
Mullaney
Now we're even for the milkbones.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Thesis on Caine and Hackman Collaboration
Pigman
]." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!
[[w:A_Bridge_Too_Far|A Bridge Too Far]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Substance Use and Focus
Gutter
Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe man. Clinton is playing right here!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation to a college gathering at the Pit
Mullaney
Are you just sitting around your dorm rooms playing cards and eating pizza? Is this the way you spent the majority of your four years in college? Would you like tonight to be different, you just don't have any place to go? Well, now you do! So turn off your radios and head on over. Tonight, at the Pit: Everyone Gets Laid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Moment of Realization in PCU
Gutter
I... I didn't exhale?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Bicentennial Tour of Historical Nonsense
Mullaney
You gotta make sure he gives you the bicentennial tour: 200 years of bull-shit.
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Critique of Changing Campus Culture
Rand
Pride of the Port Chester sports program, Tom: Hippie Olympics. Doesn't matter who wins cause they're all losers. You know, it's sad, really. This school used to be a bastion of rich, white elitism. And now... now they let homosexuals on the football team. Whining minorities run the student government. And you can't even coerce a woman into having sex with you without being brought up on charges.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Binger to Brighten Your Day
Mersh
Just one binger to brighten up your day
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Music History Before 1989 Explained
James "Droz" Andrews
I don't know if you're aware, but there actually was music recorded before 1989.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding of Women's Identity
James "Droz" Andrews
Those aren't women, Tom. Those are ].
[[w:womyn|womynists]
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Proposal to Bring in Blotter
Mersh
We're getting housed here, guys. I say we bring in Blotter.
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Invitation for a Shower Scene
James "Droz" Andrews
Call me for the shower scene in "]".
[[w:Dressed_to_Kill|Dressed To Kill]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Music and Identity in PCU
Mersh
Funk, Gutter, funk! ], Parliament Funkadelic. Dude, aren't you a music major?
[[w:George_Clinton_%28funk_musician%29|George Clinton]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Art of Bullshitting in Academia
James "Droz" Andrews
You can major in ] if you know how to bullshit.
[[w:Game_Boy|Game Boy]
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Frustration with Delayed Plans and Distractions
James "Droz" Andrews
Well, you call those useless, yurt-toting, frisbee-chucking ]-monkeys and you tell them you're gonna be an hour late.
[[w:Cheeba|cheeba]
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Reference to a historical figure's absurdity
James "Droz" Andrews
You remember this guy? He skippered Hitler's catamaran during the war.
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A List of Unconventional Supplies
James "Droz" Andrews
Alright right, whaddya need? Bottle rockets, dental dams, Redi Wips, term papers?
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The Consistent Presence of Movies on TV
James "Droz" Andrews
Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a ] or ] movie playing on TV.
[[Michael Caine; [w:Gene_hackman|Gene Hackman]
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Confronting Reality in a Frustrating Situation
Rand
Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to tall bitch! What is your fault? This is!
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Avoiding Band Shirt Stereotypes
James "Droz" Andrews
What is this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy.
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The Fleeting Commitment of Causeheads
James "Droz" Andrews
These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it . . . for about a week.
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Misguided Leadership and Uncontrollable Chaos
Rand
I scheme and plan for months and it gets screwed up because you can't control the students! Never send a woman to do a man's job!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encouragement for Recreational Use
Mersh
Have a bong hit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Unappealing Snacks
James "Droz" Andrews
Mmm. Warm, flat beer. Soggy chips. Think about that.
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Embracing Freedom in Unconventional Moments
Pigman
Shower scene....
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Critique of an Obsolete Major
James "Droz" Andrews
]. You're majoring in a 5,000 year old dead language.
[[w:Sanskrit|Sanskrit]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.