31 quotes
Conviction of Asshole-ism Explained
Divine/Babs Johnson
You stand convicted of asshole-ism.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Filthiest People Alive: A Notorious Life
Taglines
The filthiest people alive! Their loves, their hates and their unquenchable thirst for notoriety!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Assistance with Chickens
Crackers
Hold these goddamn chickens!
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A Warning About Future Deliveries
Divine/Babs Johnson
The next package you bring me is getting shoved right up your little ass, can you comprehend that?!
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Consequences of Unwelcome Gifts
Crackers
Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live. Nobody!
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A Dry Spell in Love
Divine/Babs Johnson
I haven't fallen in love for three whole days!
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A Conversation About a Car and Directions
Hitchhiker
Where'd you get this beautiful car?
Raymond Marble
At a car dealer, where did you think?
Connie Marble
Where ya going?
Hitchhiker
Just downtown, anywhere near Howard street.
Connie Marble
Oh, meeting someone?
Hitchhiker
Yeah.
Connie Marble
Who?!
Hitchhiker
My boyfriend and a couple of other guys. Why?
Raymond Marble
Going to do a gang bang or something?
Hitchhiker
What? Hey, what's with you two?
Connie Marble
We just wondered where you were planning to spread your VD today, that's all, hussy.
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Challenge of Filthiness and Identity
Connie Marble
We'll see who's the filthiest person alive! We'll JUST SEE!
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Divine Uncovers Raymond's Jealous Scheme
Narrator
That is not the only shock you have before you, Raymond Marble, because at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ass hole!
[''after Raymond exposes himself to a transsexual in the park, and, shocked, runs away'']
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Exploring Identity and Provocation in Pink Flamingos
Babs Johnson
Give me more questions!
Reporter
Divine, are you a lesbian?
Babs Johnson
Yes, I have done everything!
Reporter
Does blood turn you on?
Babs Johnson
It does more than turn me on, Mr. Vader, it makes me calm and more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it, the taste of hot freshly killed blood!
Reporter
Could you give us some of your political beliefs?
Babs Johnson
Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics, filth is my life! Take whatever you like!
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A Delightful Egg Selection
The Egg Man
And now, Edie, what will it be today? I have Grade A extra large, I have Grade A large, I have medium, I have small, I have brown and I have white. Just look at these, so fresh you could hardly believe it. They're just begging to be scrambled or fried or poached or hard boiled. Or ready to be thrown into a big, fat, juicy omelet! How about it, Edie? What will it be for the lady that the eggs like the most?
Edie
I want them all! I'll have the brown ones, and those great big white ones, and I'll have those over there. And I want them for frying and for scrambling, and for hard-boiled for snacks. Oh, God!
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Divine's Outburst Against Connie
Divine/Babs Johnson
Oh my God,you stupid idiot motherfucker!Connie,go away!
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Dividing People into Two Distinct Types
Connie Marble
I guess there's just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone, my kind of people, and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into.
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Questioning the Couch's Condition
Connie Marble
How can a couch be out of order?!
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Critique of Babs Johnson's Name
Connie Marble
Babs Johnson, oh what a stupid fucking name! She sounds like a chimpanzee on a tire swing.
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Absurdity and Humor in Unconventional Conversations
Sandy Sandstone
Eat the bird, bitch!
Cookie
I may have to degrade myself in front of Divine's son. He's into a very strange sex scene.
Edie
Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!
Birthday Card
Happy birthday, fatso.
Cotton
] merely relieves tension.
[[Homicide|Murder]
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A Warm Meal Shared Among Friends
Cotton
Mmm, smells delicious Babs!
Babs Johnson
Thank you Cotton, it should. I warmed it up when I was downtown today in my own little oven!
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Unconventional Expressions of Love
Connie Marble
Oh I love you Raymond. I love you more than anything in this whole world! I love you even more than my own filthiness! More than my hair color! More than the sound of bones breaking! The sounds of death rattles! Even more than my own SHIT do I love you, Raymond!
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Claims of Filth and Controversy Among Characters
Raymond Marble
As you know, Divine has achieved a sort of fame lately, both locally and on the national level. You may have heard the term the "filthiest person alive"?
Cookie
I have heard the term, yes. The papers call her that and she is known as that to a limited extent in your more crime-conscious sections of the city.
Connie Marble
Well we feel this to be an untrue statement! We feel that Raymond and I far surpass her in every aspect of the term filth. As you know, we run a baby ring. It's really a very simple process, we keep two girls at all time who are impregnated by Channing, our rather fertile servant. We sell the babies to ] couples, and then we invest the money in various businesses around town.
[[lesbian]
Raymond Marble
We own a few ] shops, plus we front money to a chain of ]-pushers in the inner-city elementary schools.
[[pornography; [heroin]
Connie Marble
We feel the attention that's been focused on Divine lately is most unfair. She is merely a common thief and murderer. Unfortunately for us our line of work limits our chances for publicity and travel, but this does not mean that we wish to go unnoticed. After all, we have not worked all these years in order to be outstaged by this fat hog that calls herself divine!
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Verdict Declared: Guilty on All Charges
Divine/Babs Johnson
Gentlemen, the verdict is in. Guilty on all 10 charges of first-degree ].
[[stupidity]
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Divine: The Filthiest Person and Actress
Narrator
The filthiest people alive?" Well, you think you know someone filthier? Watch as Divine proves that not only is she the filthiest person in the world, she's also the filthiest actress in the world! ] is THE REAL THING!
[last lines; [W:coprophagia|What you are about to see]
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Embracing Identity and Provocation
Divine/Babs Johnson
You know who I am, bitch! I'm the filthiest person alive, that's who I am!
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The Egg Man's Assurance of Quality Eggs
The Egg Man
Miss Edie, as long as there are chicken layin and truck drivin and my feet walkin', you can be sure that l will bring you the finest of the fine, the largest of the large and the whitest of the white. ln other words, that thin-shelled ovum of the domestic fowl will never be safe as long as there are chicken layin and l'm alive because l am your eggman and there ain't a better one in town!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Disturbing Intimacies in a Bedroom
Crackers
Ew, their bedroom, their fuck chamber itself!
Babs Johnson
This is where ], Crackers, right here on this very bed, this is where they touch their uninspired little organs together, vainly trying to recharge their worn out battery of filthiness, thrashing and moaning in the still of the night!
[[Human sexual activity|they mate]
Crackers
What kinda shit turns them on, Mama? What do they do in here?
Babs Johnson
Oh all sorts of disgusting positions I would imagine, Crackers. Connie probably takes Raymond's little peanut of a cock between her brittle chapped lips and then scrapes her ugly decayed teeth up and down on it while asshole Raymond thinks he's getting the best head on the ]! Then they probably sit here and stare at each other's blue and red hair, while they goose each other and say dirty words!
[[W:East Coast|East Coast]
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The Hideout of Divine, the Notorious Beauty
Narrator
This beautiful mobile home you see before you is the current hideout of the notorious beauty Divine, the filthiest person alive!
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Threat of Violence by Babs Johnson
Divine/Babs Johnson
I'll burn you to death,stupid bitch!
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A Question About Family Dynamics
Crackers
This is my grandma, Edie.
Cookie
What's... what's the matter with her?
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Exploring the Limits of Taste and Decency
Taglines
An exercise in poor taste.
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A Commitment to Truthfulness
Babs Johnson
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Crackers
Sure, Mama. I wouldn't shit ya.
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Unexpected Delivery of Unwanted Waste
Divine/Babs Johnson
Oh my God Almighty! Someone has sent me a BOWEL MOVEMENT!
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A Plea for Maternal Attention
Crackers
Do my ], Mama!
[[W:Testicles|balls]
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