Poolhall Junkies Quotes

Harmonica player Y'know, you were really good tonight kid.

Danny Doyle Yeah, too bad nobody will ever know.

Taglines Some people get all the breaks. Others just get broken.

Danny Doyle Hey Moose, I was watching TV with your wife last night. Stupid bitch took her two hours to ].

Johnny Doyle Bet twenty thousand! The poolhall falls silent] Oh, did I stutter? Everybody gone all quiet and shit? About a minute ago it was like an evening at the Apollo up in this motherfucker, now all of a sudden it's quiet as a church. That's all right, Chico, I don't blame you. I've been beatin this Jimmy Walker lookin motherfucker all goddamn night, he can't win.

Chico You'd better watch your mouth, Johnny!

Johnny Doyle You watch my mouth, Chico. Cause you sure as hell don't wanna watch me play pool. Unless, of course, I'm blind folded and hand cuffed with a pool cue stickin out of my ass. Or maybe you'd bet the twenty thousand then?

Johnny Doyle The poolhall's a great equalizer. In the poolhall, nobody cares how old you are, how young you are, what color your skin is or how much money you've got in your pocket... It's about how you move. And I remember this kid once who could move around a pool table like nobody had ever seen. I mean, hour after hour, rack after rack, his shots just went in. The cue was part of his arm and the balls had eyes. And the thing that made him so good was... He thought he could never miss. I know, cause that kid was me.

Johnny Oh, fuck! Jesus! Fucking crap!

Tara Did you forget something?

Johnny It's your boss party tonight, and I'm supposed to wear a suit, right?

Tara It was my birthday last night, Johnny.

Johnny It was?

Tara God damn you.

Johnny Hey. Why didn't you say something last night?

Tara What's this? you're playing again, aren't you? So, thats what's more important than me last night? The fucking game? I thought we were through all that. What about your job with Jack?

Johnny What about my job with Jack?" It didn't work out, all right?

Tara Why?

Johnny What, do I look like a construction worker to you? ] and ]? Is that what you want? You think I like living with you like some kind of kept man? Breaking my back for peanuts while you pick up the check? I play pool, Tara, THAT'S WHAT I DO. You know, I beat a pro last night. First time I picked up a cue in forever, ]. My whole life I've been doing what other people want me to do, you, Joe, everybody.

Mike You ]? You see the one about ]? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The ]; ]. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.

Max Man that chick has got body karate.

Tang Hay do you think her tits are real? I hate chicks with fake tits.

Max Are you kidding me? Fake tits are the greatest invention of the 20th century. Plus they're safe.

Chris Whoa, whoa, whoa, safer?

Max Yeah. But do you know that 78% of all chicks that have fake tits involved in boating accidents do not drown.

Chris Where do you get this shit?

Max It's common knowledge

Taglines Being hooked on the game could cost you your life.

Johnny Doyle How about I tell you where you got your shoes. If I win, you give me a job. If I lose you can have my ring.

Merv Deal. But you're never going to get that job, Johnny, and here's why. I bought these shoes on a cruise in international waters, so no matter what you say, you're wrong.

Johnny Doyle But Merv, I didn't say I would tell you where you'd bought em, I said I'd tell you where you got em, and right now you got em on your feet.

Max Did you guys know, that the average penis size is 6.4 inches? And that the average vaginal canal is 7.9 inches.Therefore, in this country alone, there's over 17,000 miles of unused, virgin pussy out there.

Max Never go swimming. You'll drown.

Mike When I was a kid, I figured out right away: most companies pay people enough, so as they don't quit. People work hard enough, so as they don't get fired. You know, what's that?

Joe You beat them, you take their money, you call them names to their faces... and they love you. I don't know how you do it. I never saw anything like it. Beating a man out of his money, that's easy. Anybody can do that. But beating a man out of his money and making him like it... that's an art. That's an art of a true hustler.

Joe How the fuck does that make you feel... to be in that position with all your money on the table?

Mike How much you got, Joe?

Joe What?

Mike Total. You put down 80 thousand like it didn't matter. That's a lot of money for somebody like you and him. I think it matters.

Joe What's the difference...

Mike I'm a millionaire! That's the difference. I lose 80 I get another 80. For me it doesn't matter. See, I think it's you... who's sweating this, the both of you.

Taglines Sometimes you get a second shot... Make it.

Mike What do you call a thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Johnny Doyle What?

Mike Not enough sand.

Mike I'm gonna leave you with nothing.

Johnny Doyle Whoa. What are you doing?

Brad I'm taking my shot.

Johnny Doyle No. See, I just paid five-thousand dollars for your shot. Now it's my shot.

Mike I'm gonna step outside and get some smog.

Mike This one's for all the marbles, boys.

Chris I am not gay!

Joe Yes, take that you motherless motherfuckers!