Problem Child (1990) - Quotes

Allowance Consequences in Parenting Discussion

Junior: Please don't spank me, Mr. Healy.

Ben Healy: Well, Junior, I don't want to, but you're gonna have to be punished. So, I'm gonna take back your allowance.

Junior: The whole buck?

Ben Healy: That's right. Now, just hand it over.

Junior: [thinking out loud] I wonder if he's got change for a twenty.

Ben Healy: Okay. Now, I think you'd better go right to bed. I want you to use this time to think about what you've done and what you're going to do. You understand? Well, I hope you've learned a lesson. Good night.

Junior: [thinking out loud] What is this guy, nice or something?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Debate on Junior's Alleged Misdeeds

Mr. Peabody: Will you all please quiet down? Be quiet! Ladies, please, can you quiet down? Can you quiet down? Can you act like nuns?! Okay, now, there is absolutely no proof that Junior was in any way connected with today's tragedy.

Sister: Who needs proof? He's evil!

Sister: Look what he did in art class. Skeletons!

Sister: Headless corpses!

Sister: Monsters devouring human flesh!

Mr. Peabody: All right, look! I don't claim to be some kind of brilliant psychologist. I'm not. All I'm saying is maybe all the child needs is to be loved.

Mother Superior: Let's cut the crap, Mr. Peabody! Either Junior goes or you find yourself some new nuns.

Mr. Peabody: No, no, please, don't hyperventilate. Just take a deep breath and relax. The only way we can straighten this out is by hearing what Junior has to say about it.

Junior: I'm sorry, sisters. Please, please don't make me lift those heavy stones and please don't make me scrub those dirty toilets. I just wanna be a good boy. I promise!

Mr. Peabody: You see that? He said he's sorry.

Junior: Please, give me another chance. I just want to learn my lessons and do my studies so I can be smart and become a priest!

Mr. Peabody: There, you see that? A priest! It's like a nun with a jacket. It's a boy nun! He wants to be a boy nun. Let me tell you something. It takes a big man to admit his mistakes, and there is a big man! It is in the opinion of myself and my agency of which I represent that Junior will not be removed from this orphanage.

Junior: Removed? What do you mean, removed?

Mr. Peabody: Oh, don't worry about it, Junior. You see, the nuns just made a suggestion that you'd might be happier outside of the orphanage. What's so funny?

Junior: You are, you stupid dick!

Sister: You see? He's wicked!

Mr. Peabody: You're saying that you'd rather not be in the orphanage, are you?

Junior: D'oi! Think much, pea-brain? I want out!

Mother Superior: You see, Mr. Peabody? The child's incorrigible!

Junior: I'm what? Why don't you speak English, lady?

Mr. Peabody: Maybe...

Junior: Maybe...

Mr. Peabody: What the child is trying to say is that...

Junior: Maybe if I shrug my shoulders and move around my hands like this, people will think I know what I'm talking about.

Mr. Peabody: It's obvious that the kid is unbalanced. I knew that from the start. I was playing devil's advocate. Devil, you know... Anyway, on behalf of myself and the agency, this child is going to be removed from this orphanage as soon as possible!

Junior: Well, hurry the hell up! I'm not getting any younger!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.