The Pain of Laughter
Taglines:
It only hurts when you LAUGH!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Difficulty of Comedy Compared to Dying
Taglines:
Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Cost of Humor
John:
$500! What the hell did you buy for $500?
Lilah:
Jokes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Over Sandwich and Rug Preferences
Stand-Up Comic: [doing an impression of Ghandi's mother]
Please, sweetheart... just a sandwich?
Albert Emperato:
You don't want carpet! You want an area rug!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A New Name on Wedding Night
Lilah Krytsick:
Hello, my name is Lilah Krytsick, and on our wedding night, my husband gave me something very long and hard... a new name.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Perception of Humor
Lilah Krytsick:
Oh okay, so I'm not funny, SHOOT ME!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor as a Source of Confidence
Steven Gold:
Don't be scared, cuz I'm funny Steve... with a lampshade on his head. Singing and dancing, for your entertainment, his own rendition of "Singin in the Rain"!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Timing is crucial in comedy.
Steven Gold:
If you're sending someone down, you better send him fast - cuz funny Steve's going under.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of an Aspiring Comedian
Steven Gold:
I've been coming down here for 18 months. 18 months! And I have not missed a night. I take the money that my father sends me and I pay for a shrink, and I buy groceries. Now I owe my shrink, and I'm behind in my rent. My roommate's a bastard - he's changed the locks in in my front door - I can't get in! He won't give me a key until I pay him. You wanna play games? I can play games! I can play games. I can play ventriloquist with my underwear. I can play darts while maintaining an erection. I can gargle dishwater and fart O Canada at the same time! I can play piano without being popular. I once had this dream - I was dancing on the streetcorner with a jackhammer up my ass - now that was either a sex dream or I need more fiber in my diet. If any of this is turning you on, just let me know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspective on Life as Animated Cartoons
Steven Gold:
We are all God's animated cartoons.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
