Puss in Boots (2011) - Quotes

Taglines: He has been a bad kitty.

Taglines: Get ready for an adventure nine lifetimes in the making.

Taglines: Live for danger. Fight for justice. Pray for mercy.

Taglines: Looking good never looked so good.

Humpty: [holding onto the rope] Here we are again. Right, Puss?

Puss: I will not leaved you behind this time, Humpty.

Humpty: [remorseful] I'm sorry, Puss. I've made a mess out of everything. I'm a rotten egg. I'm not a person. I'm not a bird, I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.

Puss: You are what you have always been, my brother.

Humpty: [almost grabs Puss' paw, but starts lost his grip] Brothers forever. You can't save us both.

Puss: Yes, I can. Just hang on.

Humpy: Puss, you have to save the baby or the mama will destroy San Ricardo. It’s the right thing to do.

Puss: I will not let you go, Humpty.

Humpty: [last words before his death; closes his eyes and let the rope go, falls in the sky to his death and cracked with rock-bridge] I know you won’t. So I won’t make you choose.

Puss: [?] Humpty! Random

Puss: [confronting Humpty] I shall make you into an egg-salad sandwich!

Humpty: [shrieks] That is disgusting!

Puss: Give me the goose, Humpty.

Humpty: No can do, I'm afraid. See, the mama's on her way, and when she gets here, it's absolutely not bye-bye, San Ricardo and everything you ever cared about.

Puss: Revenge on me is one thing, but, why Imelda? Why the orphanage? This is our home.

Humpty: [sighs] You mean your home. I never belonged here. We had a plan to get out of here, but then you became a hero and you picked this place over me. You left me with nothing.

Puss: Humpty, I'm sorry I hurt you. But do not take it out on these people. You are better than this.

Humpty: No, I'm not.

Puss: Oh, come on! I know the real Humpty. The way you saw the world, the inventor, the dreamer! What happened to that guy?

Humpty: I think it's too late.

Puss: It is never too late to do the right thing. Together, we can save San Ricardo! I can forgive you, Humpty, if you help me now.

Humpty: Really? After everything I put you through?

Puss: Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.

Humpty: I'll try.

Andy "Jack" Beanstalk: WHOO! HO! No, no! Don't stop on my account. Well, it looks like the egg got what he wanted?

Puss: You talking about Humpty?

Andy Beanstalk: [stabbles] Don't say his name! I used to share this cell with that smelly thing. Happiest day of my life was when he left, till I realized he stole my magic beans.

Puss: [the prisoner has fallen asleep snoring loudly, Puss wakes him up] Wait, wait, wait! You had the beans? Who are you? Hey! What's your name?

Andy Beanstalk: [falls asleep again snoring loudly] Andy Beanstalk, but my friends call me Jack! I traded the family cow for them beans. Of course, it wasn't my family's cow, some other family's family cow. That's why I got 8 to 10 years. Always know which cow's yours…

Puss: [Andy wakes up again] Crazy man. WAKE UP! What else do you know?

Andy Beanstalk: We're all goners, thanks to that little stinky! I told him! I told him not to take the goose, but all he wanted was his revenge!

Puss: [Andy is fallen asleep again and he slaps him to wake him up] Don't take the goose." Why?!

Andy Beanstalk: [screams] The Great Terror! That's the Golden Goose's mama.

Puss: Oh, no.

Andy Beanstalk: And she will be out for blood when she comes back for her baby.

Puss: [gasps and rushes to the guard in the door's cell] GUARD! SAN RICARDO'S IN TERRIBLE DANGER! YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME!

Guard: Quiet, you!

Puss: You were in cahoots?!

Humpty: Oh yeah! They all work for me. I spent a lot of time in prison preparing for this.

Puss: You set me up?

Humpty: [sternly; The word, "there" echoes as Puss remembers when Humpty Dumpty appears in different places, The old man's cottage, the bar, the hotel, the cats' hideout and how Humpty gets picked up by crows.] Oh, yeah! I set you up, of course! You think this was all about getting the gold and clearing your name? This... little adventure was about 1 thing: revenge. You never knew it, Puss. But I was always... there. You wanted to repay an old debt, Puss? Well, so did I.

Puss: Why would you do this?

Humpty: [becomes angrier] You left me on that bridge! You abandoned me when I needed you the most! What happened to "brothers forever"?!

Puss: [infuriated to Humpty] I TRUSTED YOU!

Humpty: [The Comandante’s guards surround Puss] Well now you're finally gonna know what it feels like. You know?! To trust someone and have them stab you in the back?! GUARDS!

Comandante: Puss in Boots, you're under arrest for the robbery of the San Ricardo bank!

Humpty: Consider this the final meeting of bean club.

Puss: [enraged; draws his sword at Humpty, frightening him] I should SCRAMBLE you with onions!

Comandante: [to Puss; points his sword at his neck] You should never have come back.

Imelda: ¡Pequeño! Wait! Do not fight them, please...

Puss: Mama! Listen to me. I can explain.

Imelda: No. Puss, no more running. Please stop breaking my heart and face what you have done.

Puss: [drops his sword] I'm sorry, Mama. I let you down.

Guard 1: [Puss raises both his paws] Paws where we can see them.

Guard 2: [Puss turns around slowly, but...] Turn around, slow. Slower!

Comandante: [pushes the kennel to Puss with his feet; Puss gets in the kennel, Comandante puts it on the wagon.] Step into the carrier, quiet like. C'mon.

Humpty: [Kitty brings in the golden goose and looks at Puss in the kennel.] Attention! Attention, everyone! If you could just come in a little closer. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... the Golden Goose of legend!

Puss: [Comandante giddaps to leaves for prison.] Kitty? Not you too?

Humpty: [cackles; throws the gold to the crowd] Gold for everyone! Boo! Boo! Boo! We got some fresh, hot gold here, people! Step right up! Get it hot!

Crowd: ¡Huevos! ¡Huevos! ¡Huevos! ¡Huevos! ¡Huevos!

Comandante: [a bottle of catnip falls out of his boot] 1 hat, 1 a belt, and 2 boots… Once a symbol of honor. 1 bottle of catnip?!

Puss: Uh… it is for my glaucoma.

Jill: [holding Puss upside down by his foot over a cliff] Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?

Puss: No, that is just a rumor spread by dogs!

Jill: Well, let's find out.

Young Humpty: Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans… but no magic beans.

Young Puss: Would you care for a jelly bean?

Young Humpty: Oh, thank you.

Kitty: I'll steal you blind and you won't even know I was there!

Kitty: [sing-song voice; shows Puss his bag of money] Someone forgot his money!

Puss: No, they are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me!

Humpty Dumpty: Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge… surrounded by soldiers! They wrote a song about it!

Puss: Then how did we get to the bridge in the first place?

Humpty Dumpty: Because we were brothers, and brothers were supposed to look out for each other, not--!

Kitty: [enters the scene] Humpty! Remember why we were here.

Tavern patron #1: [Tavern patron #2 begins to try unzipping his pants; cut to Puss] Show him the golden eggs.

Puss: No! You have shown enough.

Puss: One milk, please.

Man: What are you doing here senior? Did you lose the ball of wool? (laughing)

Puss: ( chuckles ) How witty.

Man: one milk coming.

Man: Oh! Ow! Ohh! You cannot run forever, Puss In Boots!

Comandante: [to Puss; playing the guitar] Puss in Boots?! What are you doing with the guitar and those boots?! Arrest him!

Comandante: [to his guards] Arrest them!

Comandante: [gasps] You disgrace those *boots?!*

Comandante: Señor Puss, he's a hero!

Comandante: You saved my mother.

Humpty: ['''Puss''': No! They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.] Are those new boots? Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers! They wrote a song about it!

Humpty: It’s been a long time, brother.

Kitty: You hit me in the head with a GUITAR?!

Kitty: I'm called Kitty Softpaws, because I'll steal you blind and you'll never notice that I'm there.

Kitty: [To Puss; in sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money!

Puss: Fear me, if you dare!

Puss: [offended, when the mysterious cat makes a dancing move similar to the movements of a cat hiding their wastes in the sand of their litter box] How dare you do the litterbox on me!

Puss: Do you feel how I vibrate?

Puss: [pulls his claws out, causing the bandit behind him to loses his pants] You made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!

Puss: [first lines; voice over; whispers] Through the years, I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The Furry Lover, Frisky Two Times, and then The Gingerhead Man. But to most, I am Puss in Boots! Outlaw.