31 quotes
Aspirations and Disconnections in Relationships
Lelaina
Well, I know this sounds cornball but I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives.
Troy
And I... I would like to buy them all a Coke.
Lelaina
And you wonder why we never got involved!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of Time Management
Lelaina
I have work around here, and unfortunately Troy, you are a master at the art of time suckage.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of Vibrant Emotion
Troy
I'm bursting with fruit flavor.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Sexual Identity and Preferences
Vickie
Don't you ever wish you were a lesbian?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Risks of Mixing Sex and Friendship
Vickie
Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ambition and Perception in Reality Bites
Troy
Nice save, Lelaina.
Lelaina
I'm not a valedictorian but I play one on tv.
Troy
We all know you slept your way to the podium.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Exclusion in Social Groups
Troy
There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite. But there's no secret handshake.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Complex Emotions and Belonging
Sammy
I wanna be miserable and happy and all that. I wanna be let back into the house.
[after coming out to his mother]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Refusing a Mundane Job Opportunity
Lelaina
I'm not going to work at The Gap for chrissake!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Learning Life Skills Beyond the Classroom
Lelaina
Quick, Vicky, whats your social security?
Vicky
Uhm... 851-25-9357.
Troy
Very impressive.
Vicky
Thats the only thing I really learned in college... Sometimes I get that not so fresh feeling.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Empowering Women in Leadership Roles
Vickie
I truly believe that if we can get two women on the supreme court, we can get at least one on you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Identity and Personal Choices
Lelaina
Hey! I'm a non-practicing virgin.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Student Loans After Graduation
Vickie
My favorite part about graduating now will be dodging my student loan officer for the rest of my life. He will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy... been after my ass for years.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Job Loss versus Major Life Changes
Lelaina
It's not like I had a hysterectomy. I just got fired.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Joy in Life's Small Moments
Troy
There's no point to any of this. It's just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moments where your laughter becomes a cackle... and I, I sit back and smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Personal Responsibility and World Change
Troy
I am not required to make the world a better place.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Authenticity at Age 23
Troy
Honey, the only thing you have to be at age 23 is yourself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Choices and Identity
Troy
Well, should I get married, should I be good, should I astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and my faustushood and not take her to movies but to cemeteries and tell her stories of werewolf tongues and forked clarinets... What Hey, That's My Bike would like to do as a band is travel the countryside like ].
[[Woody Guthrie]
Sammy
Or Richard Simmons. You know, how in his commercials he surprises people jogging...
Troy
As you can see, I have the occasional run-in with an anti-Hey-That's-My Biker and to those people I say nobody... ].
[[Cool Hand Luke|nobody can eat 50 eggs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Comparison of Appearance
Troy
You look like a doily.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Complexity of Emotional Maturity
Lelaina
Welcome to the world of the emotionally mature. It's a really nice place to visit. Hey, you may run into Michael. He lives here.
Troy
Oh, yeah, right. Michael. Michael. He's so mature, because he lets you navigate that entire relationship. Well, I'm sorry, Lelaina, but you can't navigate me. I might do mean things, and I might hurt you, and I might run away without your permission, and you might hate me forever. And I know that that scares the shit out of you, because I'm the only real thing that you have.
Lelaina
Yeah, well that ain't real much.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Winter of Discontent Awaits
Troy
You have reached the winter of our discontent.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Others' Experiences
Taglines
Life is always funnier when it happens to someone else.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wordplay on Brand Names and Naivety
Vickie
Evian is naive spelled backwards.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Job Expectations and Personal Identity Conflict
Charlane McGregor
Why don't you get a job at the Burgerama? They'll hire you! My Lord, I saw on the TV, they had this little retarded boy working the register.
Lelaina
Because I'm not retarded, Mom. I was the valedictorian of my university!
Wes McGregor
Well you don't have to put that on your application.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inquiry About Employee Snack Subsidies
Troy
Are employee snacks subsidized?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Invention of Cliffs Notes
Troy
He's the reason Cliffs Notes were invented.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Cheesy Performance Deserves Crackers
Lelaina
He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication and Timing in Conversations
Lelaina
Can you define "]"?
[[irony]
Troy
It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.
Lelaina
Where were you this morning when I needed you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Long-Term Marriage Dynamics
Vickie
My parents have been married for 26 years. Theyre like brother and sister at this point. She goes to the bathroom with the door open. That would be "A". And "B" that's disgusting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life Feels Like a Bad TV Show
Vickie
It's not like its happening to me. It's like it's in a crappy show like Melrose Place.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Aspirations for Career and Purpose
Sammy
My goal is... I'd like a career or something.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.