16 quotes
Confusion Over a Kangaroo Encounter
Jeff Peters
What are you yelling about? It's only a kangaroo!
[Turkey Jackson is frightened when a camel sneaks up behind them]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Payment and Risks
Turkey Jackson
How do you figure on paying for all this?
Jeff Peters
What are you, scared? You got red blood, ain't you?
Turkey Jackson
Yeah, but I don't want to get it all over strangers.
Jeff Peters
Go ahead, eat up, eat up son. I'll think of something.
Turkey Jackson
These guys don't monkey around, they got knives, they're liable to try and get the food back the hard way.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Place for Old Hourglasses
Orville "Turkey" Jackson
This must be the place where they empty all the old hourglasses.
[seeing the desert for the first time]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Transaction in Morocco
Turkey Jackson
How'd you get the spinach, old boy?
Jeff Peters
Funny thing, a guy I've never seen before in my life gives me 2,500 Kolacs... . that's 200 federal diplomas, are you listening?
Turkey Jackson
200 skins? Why, what for?
Jeff Peters
I sold him something.
Turkey Jackson
Well you've got nothing to sell! We've already hocked your pivot tooth.
Jeff Peters
It wasn't much, but it was all I had, and was he anxious to get it!
Turkey Jackson
What did you sell him?
Jeff Peters
Look, uh, Orville, I want you to keep very calm now. Don't get excited.
Turkey Jackson
What did you sell him?
[grabbing Jeff, nervous]
Jeff Peters
You.
Turkey Jackson
Oh, well, for a minute I - HUH? Me? Wait a minute, get that guy and give him those fish back! What's the matter with you, you can't sell me, I'm not a horse! It's just the way I comb my hair!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despair and Frustration in the Desert
Turkey Jackson
I can't go on! No food, no water. It's all my fault. We're done for! It's got me. I can't stand it! No food, nothing! No food, no water! No food!
Jeff Peters
What's the matter with you, anyway? There's New York. We'll be picked up in a few minutes.
Turkey Jackson
You had to open your big mouth and ruin the only good scene I got in the picture. I might have won the ]!
[[w:Academy Award|Academy Award]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Relationships and Social Status
Princess Shalmar
Now, Orville, I want you to tell me the truth. Do you know him?
[about Jeff]
Turkey Jackson
Well I used to but I kinda outgrew him, I don't dally much with riff-raff these days and he's a pretty raffy kind of a riff.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Becoming an American Idiot
Jeff Peters
Turkey, from now on you're sacred.
Turkey Jackson
What do you mean, sacred?
Jeff Peters
You just became a full-blooded American idiot.
Turkey Jackson
No, you do it! Who's gonna believe I'm an idiot?
Jeff Peters
Will you look at the head start you got?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on Life and Death Perspectives
Turkey Jackson
I hope she didn't hear that. The dead have a way of coming back you know.
Jeff Peters
Get out, when they're dead they're dead.
Turkey Jackson
Not Aunt Lucy, she was a Republican.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Aunt Lucy's Last Wish
Turkey Jackson
Aunt Lucy. I can see her now, lying on her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. Before I go, Jeff, promise me one thing, she said. Promise me you'll always be a friend to little Orville, she said. No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk, she said. Promise me, Jeff, promise me, she said.
Jeff Peters
Yeah, then she up and died before I had the chance to say no.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wedding Date Announcement in Road to Morocco
Turkey Jackson
We're going to get married on... . uh... . when is the big day, Dream Thing?
Princess Shalmar
When the moon, in its last quarter, silvers the blossoms of the almond tree. That's Tuesday night, about nine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings Amidst Desert Adventures
Turkey Jackson
A fine thing. First, you sell me for two hundred bucks. Then I'm gonna marry the Princess; then you cut in on me. Then we're carried off by a desert sheik. Now, we're gonna have our heads chopped off.
Jeff Peters
I know all that.
Turkey Jackson
Yeah, but the people who came in the middle of the picture don't.
Jeff Peters
You mean they missed my song?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Search for Orville's Location
Jeff Peters
Orville, where are you?
Turkey Jackson
Right over here, behind these goosepimples.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desert Sheik's Proposal to Princess Shalmar
Jeff Peters
Say fuzzy, who is that headstrong impetuous boy?
Bystander
He is Mullay Kasim, the Desert Sheik.
Turkey Jackson
What'd he come to town for, a manicure?
Bystander
Oh, he loves the Princess Shalmar of Karameesh. He has come here to ask her to marry him.
Jeff Peters
I'd hate to be around when he comes for a divorce!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Camel's Perspective on a Film Experience
Male Camel
This is the screwiest picture I was ever in.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Disagreement on Storming the Place
Jeff Peters
We must storm the place.
Turkey Jackson
You storm. I'll stay here and drizzle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hilarious Musical Adventure Awaits
Taglines
It's a Harem-Scarem Riot of Song and Laughter!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.