Road to Utopia Quotes

Chester Hooton Am I dead?

Duke Johnson I can't tell, you always look that way.

Chester Hooton If those hoodlums ever get off that boat, we'll be smiling ear to ear... with our throats!

Duke Johnson Experience is the best teacher.

Chester Hooton Oh, experience is the best teacher, huh?

Duke Johnson Naturally, and I'm a Ph.D.

Chester Hooton Yeah, a pin-headed dope.

Chester Hooton Yeah? Well, I ain't afraid to die. I just hate being killed, that's all.

Chester Hooton Everything is cold! My nose is an iceberg.

Duke Johnson Iceberg? That's a glacier.

Duke Johnson Can't you suppress it somehow?

Chester Hooton Frighten me.

Duke Johnson I can't, I haven't got a mirror.

Sal Van Hoyden Don't be facetious!

Chester Hooton Oh, keep politics out of this!

Sal Van Hoyden You wouldn't dare be too bold, would you? And think that my hand was to hold, would you? And you wouldn't play on my sympathy, then take advantage of me... would you? You shouldn't be quite so near, should you? Or whisper those words in my ear, should you? You can't get romantic; that, you know, takes two. But darling, if I would... would you?

Duke Johnson Chester, you'd better face it - the cards say "Alaska!

Chester Hooton No wonder - it's a cold deck!