Rogue Quotes

Everett We'd like to get on with our tour.

Neil Fuck me, it's John fucking Wayne! This is the tour, John.

Kate Ryan One of the rules of my tour is that you have only one chance to complain about the heat and flies. They are a fact of life up here and whinging about them all day isn't going to make them disappear.

Kate Ryan Northern territory is home to the biggest population of salt water crocodiles in the world, spread throughout seven large tunnel systems. State covers the land mass double the size of Texas, but we have a population of only 200,000 people. As you can imagine, we all have pretty big backyards.

Simon Do you have many attacks on people?

Kate Tourists, occasionally.

Pete McKell The tide is moving in quick and people are falling apart. We've got to do something. Now.

Taglines How fast can you swim?

Kate Ryan Alright, the species we're looking at today, the saltwater crocodile, is probably the most dangerous member of the crocodilian family. They're pretty much living dinosaurs who have been perfecting their hunting skills over two hundred million years. So they can swim underwater up to 20 miles an hour without making a ripple on the surface. And they can burst out to attack with incredible speed. They're also known to watch their prey and learn their habits. In fact, you can see this bloke looking at us now. So if any of you are camping up here, near a river, and you need to get water, make sure to do so at a different time every day because the croc will learn your routine. You might want to avoid that. A croc gets ahold of you and it can't swallow you in one go, he will surely tear you into pieces.

Taglines Welcome to the Terrortory.

Pete McKell I just saw a man get eaten by a fucking crocodile. This is not what I do, alright. You know what I do? I write stupid articles about hotels, restaurants, and resorts. Not about the Australian Outback. And by the way, I fucking hate animals, especially ones that can kill you! Speaking of which, I'm going to kill my fucking editor when I get home.

Kate What did you think of the tour?

Pete I was thinking I'm probably going to be spending more time at home.

Kate Thanks.

Pete Jesus, anyone complain about the flies yet?

Kate That was your one shot.

Pete That wasn't a complaint. That was a question.

Neil What the fuck you gawkin at at, four eyes?

Pete I don't know. I got the brochure, but it didn't say anything about assholes.

Kate Ryan Sorry about that, folks. As you can see, human pollution is one of the greatest threats to the environment out here.