Indifference to a wife's kidnapping
Taglines:
Sam Stone's wife has just been kidnapped... And he doesn't want her back!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of Ruthlessness
Taglines:
A tale of two kidnappers who wanted to be merciless but turned out to be hopeless.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Panic Amidst Drowning Concerns at the Beach
Bystander no. 1:
Somebody help! He'll drown!
Bystander no. 2:
The water's way too cold
Bystander no. 3:
There's riptides.
Bystander no. 4:
I've seen sharks.
Bystander no. 5:
Look! There's money!
Sam: [''arriving at the scene''; ''pushes the nearest cop into the water'']
My money! You can't do that! That's not your money! That's my money! Stop em!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with Law Enforcement Unfolds
Bender:
GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO, DROP THE GUN, AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR.
Earl:
Who said that?
Walter:
This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him.
Bender:
IT'S THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.
Earl:
Really?
Bender:
NO! WE'RE THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ransom Discussion Between Barbara and Sandy
Barbara:
When do I get outta here?
Sandy:
Well, as soon as Mr. Stone pays the ransom.
Barbara:
Well, what's the problem? What is the ransom?
Sandy:
It...it was $500,000.
Barbara:
That shouldn't be a problem.
Sandy:
He complained.
Barbara:
He complained?
Sandy:
Then we dropped our price to $50,000.
Barbara:
Yeah?
Sandy:
He didn't pay.
Barbara:
He didn't pay? So now what?
Sandy: [''crying'']
So now, we're dropping our price again to $10,000.
Barbara: [''starts crying'']
Do I understand this correctly? I'm being marked down? What is this, the bargain basement? I've been kidnapped by Kmart!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation and Confrontation in Ruthless People
Ken: [''over the phone'']
Mr. Stone, this is no joke. We're desperate people.
Sam:
I believe this is a joke pal and you're it. The last time we spoke you said my wife would be in the morgue if I didn't pay. Well, I didn't pay and I was at the morgue and she wasn't there. You lied to me. You know what I think?
Ken:
No.
Sam:
You got no nuts. What do I have to do? Put a gun in your hand, aim, and pull your finger down you spineless wimp. I dare you to kill her.
Sam:
Now that oughta do it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Over Phone Numbers
Sam:
Hang on, will ya, Harry, I have some friends here.
Sam:
Why don't you call me on my office line?, -7582777777. Right?
Sam:
Business associate...
Harry:
77777-75827777777, 77582777777.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Between Barbara and Sam Escalates
Barbara:
My husband worships the ground I walk on! When he hears about this, he will explode!
Sam:
Bye-bye, Barbara!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ransom Demands Lead to Dire Consequences
Ken: [''over the phone'']
If you notify the police, your wife will be killed. If you notify the media, she will be killed. If you deviate from our instructions in any way whatsoever, she will be killed. Do you understand?
Sam: [''with a big grin on his face'']
Perfectly
News reporter:
Just minutes ago, Mr. Stone received a phone call from a man demanding a ransom from his wife, Barbara.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Family Resemblance
Barbara:
So, if I look like his mother and you look like his father, this is what our son would look like. Pretty strong argument for birth control.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Barbara's Shocking Kidnapping Realization
Barbara:
Oh my God! I've been kidnapped by Huey and Dewey!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Calls and Humorous Confessions
Sam: [''answering the phone''; ''hangs up'']
Hello? Debbie? Yeah, Debbie's here. Who is this? Well Ralph, Debbie can't talk right now. My dick's in her mouth. How about if I have her call you back later when I'm done? I love wrong numbers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Endless Cycle of Suffering and Survival
Sam: [''complaining about his wife's wealthy father'']
They pulled the plug on him. He wheezed and shook for about an hour and then... he stabilized. That son-of-a-bitch just got older and sicker, and older and sicker, AND OLDER AND SICKER...!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedic Introduction to New Characters
Sam: [''introducing his wife's toy poodle to his new Doberman pinscher'']
Muffy, meet Adolph. Adolph, EAT MUFFY!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Money and Strong Resentment
Sam:
I want the rest of that money. His money, her money, it's my money. I've had to live with that squealing, corpulent, little toad all these years. God, I hate that woman! I-I... I hate the way she licks stamps! I hate her furniture! And I hate that little sound she makes when she sleeps...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
