Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) - Quotes

Imagination and Heartwarming Tale Await

Taglines: From the team who brought the three Superman blockbusters to the screen comes a story to stir the imagination - and warm the heart.

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Exploring the True Identity of Santa Claus

Taglines: Santa Claus. The spirit of Christmas. But who is he really?

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The Power of Belief

Taglines: Seeing is believing!

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The Legend of Santa Claus Unfolds

Taglines: The legend comes to life!

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Anticipation of a festive arrival

Taglines: Guess who's coming to town?

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Unexpected Reactions and Laughter

BZ: Heh heh heh!

BZ: Whoa, whoa, uh-oh!

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Cigarette Smoking: A Serious Concern Addressed

Senator: Well, what do you have to say to that, sir?

BZ: [laughs] Well, Senator, I've always known that cigarette smoking could be hazardous to your health.

Senator: This is not a laughing matter, sir! This is a tragedy waiting to happen. You, sir, are a disgrace to your profession!

BZ: Senator...

Senator: And I believe THIS toy was advertised as being suitable for three-year-olds?

BZ: Senator, I'm even more astonished that you are to see this and I assure you that if these are not isolated examples, I'll make sure they never happen again.

Senator: Well, you better do more than that, sir. You better withdraw every BZ Toy on the market or I'll personally see to it that your license to manufacture and distribute in the United States is REVOKED!

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Dreaming of Brazil's Escape and Relaxation

BZ: Towzer, how does Brazil sound to you?

Towzer: Brazil?

BZ: Brazil. Sandy beaches, tropical breezes, big rum drinks with pineapple in em, senoritas in string bikinis and... oh yes, no extradition proceedings.

Towzer: You mean ----

BZ: You and me, Eric. We'll take the cash ---- and let the elf face the music!

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Confrontation Over Dangerous Substance

Towzer: B.Z., this stuff can kill people!

B.Z.: Are you going soft on me?

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Concern for Safety in Challenging Situation

Cornelia: You're burning up.

Joe: I'll be alright.

Cornelia: You stay out there and you'll be dead is what you'll be.

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Anticipating a Christmas Movie Sequel

B.Z.: When you've got a hit like we have, Patch, the people don't wanna wait a whole year, they're dying for a sequel! A sequel. That's it. We'll bring it out on March 25, and we'll call it... Christmas II!

Patch: Christmas II?

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Promoting Products Through Television Advertising

Patch: How will I tell everyone of my product?

B.Z.: I have found the best forum for this world is television.

Patch: Can we be seen on that?

B.Z.: With enough money a horse in a hoop skirt can get on one of those things.

Patch: I don't know much about money.

Patch: One minute will suffice.

B.Z.: Where will it be told?

Patch: Pardon?

B.Z.: Which country? Which channel?

Patch: All of them!

Patch: If you give extra kisses, you get bigger hugs".

B.Z.: Sorry?

Patch: [chuckles awkwardly] That's what Santa's wife's always saying. Anyway, that's all the advertising you'll ever need.

B.Z.: It better be. How many workers does this, uh, product require?

Patch: Just me.

B.Z.: What? No payroll?

Patch: Well, my needs are small: a bowl of stew, heavy on the dill, a cold place to sleep--

B.Z.: What will it cost?

Patch: [confused] Cost? Cost whom?

B.Z.: The people who...who buy the toy.

Patch: Well, nothing; we're going to give them away free.

Patch: [intrigued] Oh! Oh, that's fantastic! How do you make your face so red so fast?

B.Z.: FOR FREE?!?!?!

Patch: Well, that's how we do it at the North Pole--

B.Z: WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT HERE, IN A FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM!!!

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Invention of Puce Juice Proposed by Towzer

Towzer: If this catches on, we can come out with a liquid version: puce juice.

The Question of Believing in Santa Claus

Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?

B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.

Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.

B.Z.: Yes. I guess I was... no angel.

A Christmas Eve Encounter Between Joe and Santa

Joe: Hey, beat it, man, find your own doorway. Don't crowd me.

Santa Claus: What are you doing here?

Joe: I'm pitchin a no-hitter for the Yankees, what's it look like?

Santa Claus: But it's Christmas Eve! Don't you know what that means?

Joe: Yeah, it means you're out of a job until next year, you and the rest of the winos.

Santa Claus: Don't you know who I am?

Joe: Sure, you're a nut.

Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus.

Joe: Right, and I'm the tooth fairy.

Santa Claus: Well! I guess I'll just have to do it my way.

Color Choices for Santa's New Look

Honka: It takes time for me. I have never done an extra large before.

Anya: I do not mean to put down your work, but green is just not his color.

Puffy: What about brown?

Patch: How about red?

Anya: Yes!

The Birth of Santa Claus

Ancient Elf: [to Santa] The Prophecy has come to pass, that there would come to us a Chosen One, and that he, having no child of his own, would love all children everywhere, and that he himself would be an artisan, and a craftsman, and a skilled maker of toys. And now, Chosen One, come forward. From this day on, now and forever, you will bring all our gifts to all the children in all the world, and all this to be done on Christmas Eve.

Santa Claus: How can I do so much in just one night?

Ancient Elf: Well, know this: time travels with you. The night of the world is a passage of endless night for you, until your mission is done. This is your legacy, and your gift.... as is the gift of flight. Now, all those within the sound of my voice, and all those on this Earth everywhere know that henceforth, you will be called --- Santa Claus. And now, everyone, Merry Christmas.