Scary Movie 4 (2006) - Quotes

Alien Attack Alert to the President

Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, we've just received word the planet is under attack by aliens.

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Soy Sauce and Tripods in Conversation

Oliver: We gotta find a way to take out these tripods. I heard that the Japs took out a few of em over in Kikkoman.

Tom Ryan: Kikkoman. That's...that's a soy sauce.

Oliver: Right, yeah. Low sodium.

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Unexpected Employee Introduction After an Accident

Cindy Campbell: Oh, my God!

Mr. Koji: Don't mind her. She slip and fall. You my new best employee! Ready start today?

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Concerns About a New Relationship

Brenda: Is something wrong?

Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.

Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him.

Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.

Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy?

Cindy Campbell: No...no.

Cindy Campbell: (relieved) But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with.

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Cutting Through Chains or Feet?

Shaq: (After throwing the rock into the basketball) Boo-yah!

Dr. Phil: Yes! (He and Shaq use their saws together) 30 seconds left!

Shaq: AAAAAAARGH! (to Dr. Phil) He doesn't want us to cut through our chains, but this will never work.

Dr. Phil: Of course. He wants us to cut through our feet.

Shaq: You go first.

Dr. Phil: Bullshit!

Shaq: Yeah. You're probably not man enough. I guess your mama was right...

Dr. Phil: (looks up) NEVER!!!!! Who's the coward NOW, Mama?! (Saws through his foot)

Shaq: Candy from a baby.

Dr. Phil: I've done it! We're saved! (holds up foot)

Shaq: Oh, my God! (points)

Dr. Phil: What's wrong?!

Shaq: Wrong foot!

Dr. Phil: (looks down) Motherfu.... (hits floor with a thud.)

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Miscommunication Leads to Frustration in Crisis

Tom: Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die!

Marvin: Okay...(reaches for handle but the door is locked. looks at Tom)

Tom: Well, wait while I...(tries to unlock door but Marvin pulls handle at the same time. This happens a few times.) Don't do that.

Tom: Okay, on the count of three. One! Two! Three! (Tom unlocks door but again Marvin pulls handle) Why would you do that? Why would you go at the same time I do? That's what all this is about!!

Marvin: Hey, you said go on three.

Tom: What the fuck?

Marvin: Wait, your three, or my three?

Tom: There's only one three! You go on four!

Marvin: So, now I gotta go on four? You're makin the black man wait for you?!

Tom: Just go on four! One...

Marvin: No. No one. I'm out. I'll take the next one, that okay with you. (backs away)

Tom: Sheesh...attitude. (puts car in drive and leaves)

Marvin: For real...I'd rather be dead. (gets zapped by Tri-pod.)

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Humorous Comparison of Belgians and Dog Waste

President Harris: What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good!

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Celebration Amidst Uncertainty

Dr. Phil: I did it! We're saved! What's wrong?!

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Confronting Cowardice in a Tense Moment

Dr. Phil: NEVER! Who's the coward NOW, Mama?

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Cutting Through Our Feet Explained

Dr. Phil: Of course. He wants us to cut through our feet!

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Countdown to the Final Moment

Dr. Phil: 30 seconds left!

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Unexpected Confession from Dr. Phil Character

Dr. Phil: I just tell people to "get real." I'm not even a doctor... I'm an electrician. I failed you, Shaq. I failed you.

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Uncertainty in Response

Dr. Phil: Not exactly.

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Emotional Frustration and Self-Doubt Expressed

Dr. Phil: Your FEELINGS?! To hell with your feelings! Everybody with their feelings! "I'm obese, my kid's a brat, help me, help me! JUST SHUT UP!!! (cries) Why can't I fix anyone of them?! I'm so dumb and worthless! Mama was right, Mama was right! (sobs)

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Dr. Phil's Confusion in Scary Movie 4

Dr. Phil: What the hell was that for?!

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Urgency in Achieving a Simple Task

Dr. Phil: Just make the damn basket!

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Embracing Success Amidst Danger

Dr. Phil: Shaquille. I'm not angry at you, cause we ARE one minute away from Death. Just shut the "No" voice. Own your success.

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Advice for Handling a Metal Arm

Dr. Phil: Hit the metal arm with something. There!

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Unexpected Turn in a Show on Teens

Dr. Phil: I don't know! I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues and then suddenly, I blacked out and woke up here! Man, those kids are gonna be pissed!

Playing for Your Lives

Jigsaw: Gentlemen, you don't know me, but I know you. You both play games with people for a living, but now you are going to be playing for your lives.

A Grim Realization of Consequences

Jigsaw: We are so fucked.

Jigsaw's Apology for Mass Destruction

Jigsaw: I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever!

Urgent Call for Help in Crisis

Jigsaw: (Cindy is going to cut her own eye) Zoltar, get in here! This one's gonna do it!

Brenda's Chaotic Nightmare Vision

Brenda: (having a nightmare) Lil Kim- Lil Kim got my sandwich. Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! R. Kelly, don't pee on me! MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS! Where are we?!