See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) - Quotes

Blind and Deaf: Accused of Murder

Taglines: MURDER! The blind guy couldn't see it. The deaf guy couldn't hear it. Now they're both wanted for it.

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First Drop Dead Comedy of the Year

Taglines: The first drop dead comedy of the year.

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A Blind Man, A Deaf Man, A Killer

Taglines: One's blind. The other's deaf. The girl's a killer. And they're in it over their heads.

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Perceptions of Identity and Deception

Adele: Why do you feel you have to pass for someone with 20/20 vision when you're blind as a bat?

Wally: I don't feel. I have to pass.

Adele: Yes, you do. It's a sickness in your brain, just like if you were trying to pass for white.

Wally: You mean I'm not white?

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Humor in the Face of Seriousness

Reporter: Do you really think you can stop Khomeini?

Dave: Not if it's funny.

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Confrontation Between Dave and the Police Officer

Dave: [''to Raoul''] Stop right there or I'll throw this knife through your head! I mean it! I throw your brains out!

Cop with Bullhorn: [''to Raoul''] Freeze!

Dave: [''to Raoul''] That's more like it! Now put your hand up!

Cop with Bullhorn: [''to Raoul''] Put your hands in the air!

Dave: [''to Raoul''] Oh, so you do speak English!

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Frustration in Law Enforcement Dynamics

Captain Braddock: 32 years on the force, a wife and three kids and a blind guy and a deaf guy are making me look like a real asshole.

Gatlin: You got that right.

Captain Braddock: What?

Gatlin: [''talking into radio''] Charlie over.

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Badge Verification Between Characters

Cabbie: Let me see a badge!

Kirgo: [''holds up gun''] This is my badge!

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Unexpected Responses in Conversation

Dr. Cornfeld: WHO are you, sir?

Dave: [''misreading Cornfeld's lips''] Fine, thank you!

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Confrontation Over Threats and Defiance

Dave: Wally! He could put a hole through your *head*, Wally!

Wally: *Fuck* him and his holes!

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Embracing Freedom Through Unfiltered Expression

Dave: Fucking-A. Something bothers you, fuck it. Your wife leaves you, fuck her. Your boss fires you, fuck him. Fucking-A. Fucking them. Right?

Wally: You're fucking right!

Dave: It's a gift to be able to do that.

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Unexpected Communication Breakthrough

Wally: [''yelling in Dave's ear''] Shazaam! Can you hear me?

Dave: Wally! I heard you! I heard your voice!

Wally: Hooray! You can hear me!

Dave: What?

Wally: You can hear me!

Dave: [''shouts''] No, schmuck. I'm deaf! I'm deaf! Now do you get it?

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Blind Man's Accurate Guess

Dave: How many fingers am I holding up in front of your eyes right now?

Wally: Three!

Dave: That's good. That's pretty good, considering that he's blind.

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Miscommunication Among Friends Leads to Tension

Adele: I think David got a little messed up.

Dave: What did she say?

Wally: She said she thinks you're an asshole!

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Sidewalk Driving Observations

Wally: These streets are bumpy.

Dave: You're driving on the sidewalk!

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Trust and Friendship on the Journey

Wally: Where are we?

Dave: Probably on our way to New Jersey by now.

Wally: No kidding! I got family in there! Do you want to come with me?

Dave: Of course. You've earned my trust, Wally. You've been a very good friend to me these past couple days. You're always there for me. You never get me into trouble. Sometimes it seems a bit boring but that's a small price to pay for such a wonderful friendship.

Wally: That's beautiful, Dave. Do you mean everything you just said?

Dave: I'll tell you how I really feel in about a minute or two. Right now, I'm a little overwhelmed by the STINK of the seven tons of garbage that you drove us into!

Wally: Is THAT what it is? I thought you let one go! That's why I didn't say anything!

Dave: That's very kind of you! Thank you!

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Communication Challenges Between Friends

Dave: Who are you talking to?

Wally: I'm talking to you, you prick.

Dave: Why don't you look me in the eye and say that?

Wally: I would if I could but I can't, I'm blind.

Dave: You're blind?

Wally: Yes, I'm blind. What are you, fucking deaf?

Dave: YES! I'M FUCKING DEAF!

Wally: You're really deaf?

Dave: I'm really deaf.

Wally: Then how do you know what I'm saying?

Dave: Because I'm reading your lips. Now you want the job or not?

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A Conversation About Swearing

Dave: You swear an awful lot.

Wally: You're fucking-A right!

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A Question of Identity and Seriousness

Captain Braddock: [''to Dave, talking fast''] Okay, no more bullshit. Was there or wasn't there a woman?

Dave: Are you serious?

Captain Braddock: Yes, I'm goddamn serious.

Dave: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?

Captain Braddock: What the hell is he talking about?

Wally: He reads lips. You're talking too fast.

Captain Braddock: [''to Dave, talking slowly''] Was there... a wom-an... pres-ent?

Dave: [''to Captain Braddock, talking slowly''] Yes. There was... a wom-an... pres-ent.

Captain Braddock: [''to Wally''] Why is he talking like that?

Wally: [''to Captain Braddock, talking slowly''] Because he's deaf... not stu-pid.

Visa Issues and Credit Card Humor

Hotel Clerk: Dr. Kesselring, we thought you wouldn't make it, did you have trouble with your visa?

Dave: Yes, and then suddenly they excepted American Express.

Wally: Yes, don't go home without it.

Unexpected Connections in Marriage

Dave: And then one day, my wife turned into this remarkable creature that could sit on the end of a broomstick and take off. She could actually achieve flight.

Wally: I think I was married to that woman once.

Dave: Small world.