National Lampoon's Senior Trip Quotes

Steve Nisser That's it! That does it! You leave me no choice! As student body president, I am placing you all under citizens arrest! You are all confined to your rooms until I get Principal Moss!

Steve Nisser Look, even though I'm probably going to get into Yale, doesn't mean that I don't suffer from the effects of teen angst. But I'm here to tell you that drugs and alcohol are not the answers to your problems!

Travis Lindsey Spock. Shuttlecraft has encountered strange alien matter. Have Chekov scan computer bank. Wong, proceed.

Frank Hardin Hi, sugar. Frank Hardin, CEO of Bounty Burger Enterprises.

Lisa Perkins Would you take your hands off me?

Frank Now why don't you and me saunder up to my room for a little party?

Lisa Get away from me, you geriatric lush!

Frank I'm not gonna let you go til you take this key. I could pay if you like.

Steve Nisser Now wait just a minute. Have any of you considered the consequences if Principal Moss finds out?

Travis Lindsey Travis. Yes, Admiral Kirk, I understand. Travis out. New orders from Starfleet. The Klingon leader is to be terminated. Phasers on kill, Lieutenant. Phasers on kill.

Steve Nisser As student body president, I am proud to bring you this special assembly. So, without any further ado, I give to you, direct from Salt Lake City, the music of High On Life!!

Steve Nisser Lay one hand on me and I'll sue! PRINCIPAL MOSS!!

Principal Todd Moss It's now officially 8:01, people; let's move it! Come on, come on, while we're young! Herbert Jones, get off my car! Quickly, quickly, quickly. Come on, look lively, people, come on. Keep climbing; you won't get a nosebleed. Button that up, Carla. Herbert. Early bird. Worm. Think about it. Pull, Wanda. Pull.

Principal Todd Moss If you'll all check your itineraries, you'll see that this is the only stop we're making between now and Washington. So I suggest you take care of whatever necessities come to mind. Now, I'm setting the alarm on my watch for ten minutes. When this alarm goes off, the bus will leave with or without you.

Travis Lindsey Captain's log, 94237.4. I just received a priority communication from Starfleet Command that an alliance between the Klingons and the Romulans will occur right here on Earth. Our mission: to infiltrate the Klingon crew and to kidnap the Romulan leader. Computer, scan file on Klingon crew. Computer, identify Klingon leader. Just as I thought. Computer, identify Romulan leader. Mr. Spock, your analysis? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I agree. We have to stop him. Lieutenant Uhura, accompany me to the transporter. Mr. Spock, you have the bridge.

Principal Todd Moss Well, now that you've enlightened me as to the real problem here, perhaps you should tell the President about your concerns. In fact, I think you should all pool your ideas together. I want you to draft a 500-word letter to the President on what you'd like the Government to do in order to save our education system. Now, Mr. Diplo will be in charge today. Mr. Diplo, I've given these students an assignment. Make sure they finish it by 1:00. If they're not finished, they can stay later.

Lisa Perkins So... here we are. Just the two of us. First night in Washington.

Mark D'Agostino Yup.

Lisa Listen, you were right about all those things you said to me.

Dags What things?

Lisa You know, about... waking up and realizing I've wasted my life studying.

Dags Studying sucks.

Lisa I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Dags You're not gonna study anymore?

Lisa No; I'm not gonna waste my life.

Dags Oh, cool.

Lisa I need to ask you for a favor.

Dags Sure. What?

Lisa Well, I've been thinking about this and... I've decided that I don't want to go to college a virgin.