20 quotes
Get the monkey, according to Andy.
Andy/Randy
You gotta get the monkey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Suggestive Tip for Enthusiasm
Rex
Put a little sack into it, powder puff.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Theme Park Conversation Takes Unexpected Turn
Girl at Theme Park
I would've blown.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Born to Fertilize
Andy/Randy
Hey, I was born to fertilize!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual conversation about clothing and attractiveness
Randy
You wear thong underpants?
Andy
You want us to take our shirts off?
Randy
Where do you live?
Andy
Is your mom hot too?
Randy
Where do you live?
Andy
What's your address?
Randy
You like pizza?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innuendo in a Casual Encounter
Ian
Hey, sir. I've got something yummy for your little girl.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual Greeting in English
Ezekiel
What up, English?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Suggestion for a Group Activity
Andy/Randy
You should pee on us!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Insulting Reflection
Lance
Oh, did you have a moment? A little moment? You're an idiot.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with an Unyielding Officer
Angry Cop
Drop the weapon, donut man! Okay, put your hands on your head! Both hands, asshole!
Ian
I can't move the other arm.
Angry Cop
Who said that? Who said that?
Ian
l can't move the other arm. Sir, I'm not resisting. it's foam, sir.
Angry Cop
The big Mexican won't go down! Take the shot!
Ian
Holy shit.
Felicia
Jesus! Hold your fire! Hold your fire, okay? He is not the bad guy! She is the car thief. Right there. The blond, in a belt for a skirt.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confidence in Approaching Others
Ian
Where do you guys get the confidence to, like, hit on every girl you see?
Randy
Cause we're the shit.
Andy
Yeah, you oughta know that, bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Statement About Ian's Actions
Lance
Who's gonna pound on it? Say it: Ian's gonna pound on it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inappropriate Compliment on Hair
Andy/Randy
Nice hair. It'd look...look better in my crotch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inquiring About a Phone Number
Andy/Randy
Do you have a phone number? ...You don't! Oh, okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preference in Humor and Relationships
Rex
Which do you like better, the shaft or the balls?...You like em both, don't you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Sarcasm and Experiences
Ezekiel
I miss sarcasm. It's mostly lost on my people. And gambling... went to Vegas once. And buttfucking.
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of Attraction and Physical Response
Andy/Randy
I'm into you, and...I'm hard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Surprising Romance with an Amish Woman
Lance
I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean seriously, what are the odds?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Brotherly Advice on Relationships and Responsibilities
Rex
No way. No way my little brother's takin it in the chili ring! You go and bang a female woman like the good Lord intended. And Ian...fill up the tank, would ya, buddy? Cause it's gettin a little low.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Proposal from a Romantic Interest
Ian
Holy buckets...she wants me to give her the D.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.