Confrontation with an Unyielding Officer
Angry Cop:
Drop the weapon, donut man! Okay, put your hands on your head! Both hands, asshole!
Ian:
I can't move the other arm.
Angry Cop:
Who said that? Who said that?
Ian:
l can't move the other arm. Sir, I'm not resisting. it's foam, sir.
Angry Cop:
The big Mexican won't go down! Take the shot!
Ian:
Holy shit.
Felicia:
Jesus! Hold your fire! Hold your fire, okay? He is not the bad guy! She is the car thief. Right there. The blond, in a belt for a skirt.
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Confidence in Approaching Others
Ian:
Where do you guys get the confidence to, like, hit on every girl you see?
Randy:
Cause we're the shit.
Andy:
Yeah, you oughta know that, bitch.
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Casual conversation about clothing and attractiveness
Randy:
You wear thong underpants?
Andy:
You want us to take our shirts off?
Randy:
Where do you live?
Andy:
Is your mom hot too?
Randy:
Where do you live?
Andy:
What's your address?
Randy:
You like pizza?
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Theme Park Conversation Takes Unexpected Turn
Girl at Theme Park:
I would've blown.
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Reflection on Sarcasm and Experiences
Ezekiel: [pause]
I miss sarcasm. It's mostly lost on my people. And gambling... went to Vegas once. And buttfucking.
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Casual Greeting in English
Ezekiel:
What up, English?
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Inappropriate Compliment on Hair
Andy/Randy:
Nice hair. It'd look...look better in my crotch.
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Get the monkey, according to Andy.
Andy/Randy:
You gotta get the monkey.
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Unusual Suggestion for a Group Activity
Andy/Randy:
You should pee on us!
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Inquiring About a Phone Number
Andy/Randy:
Do you have a phone number? ...You don't! Oh, okay.
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Born to Fertilize
Andy/Randy:
Hey, I was born to fertilize!
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Expression of Attraction and Physical Response
Andy/Randy:
I'm into you, and...I'm hard.
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Brotherly Advice on Relationships and Responsibilities
Rex:
No way. No way my little brother's takin it in the chili ring! You go and bang a female woman like the good Lord intended. And Ian...fill up the tank, would ya, buddy? Cause it's gettin a little low.
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A Suggestive Tip for Enthusiasm
Rex:
Put a little sack into it, powder puff.
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Preference in Humor and Relationships
Rex:
Which do you like better, the shaft or the balls?...You like em both, don't you.
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A Moment of Insulting Reflection
Lance:
Oh, did you have a moment? A little moment? You're an idiot.
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Surprising Romance with an Amish Woman
Lance:
I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean seriously, what are the odds?
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A Bold Statement About Ian's Actions
Lance:
Who's gonna pound on it? Say it: Ian's gonna pound on it.
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Innuendo in a Casual Encounter
Ian:
Hey, sir. I've got something yummy for your little girl.
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Unexpected Proposal from a Romantic Interest
Ian:
Holy buckets...she wants me to give her the D.
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