30 quotes
A Question of Rescue and Responsibility
Donkey
Shrek? Shrek! Shrek, no, wait! Wait, Shrek! What, are you crazy? That’s the Dragon’s Keep! They keep dragons in there! OK, yeah, fine! Go ahead! I’m gonna just hang back here and find us some breakfast!
[but he screamed when one of the boards he stepped on broke, so he quickly went back.]
Shrek
Fiona!
Shrek
Oh, no.
Shrek
If I didn’t saved Fiona. Then who did?
Shrek
This is the favor Fiona was supposed to give me on the day we met. It’s a symbol of our love. Now smell it!
[Donkey looked surprised.; pushes hankie in front of Donkey's face]
Donkey
Hey, man, get that dirty favor out of my face!
[winces]
Shrek
Your nose is the only chance I have of tracking down my wife, so stop complaining and start smelling. Smell it! Get it! Away you go, girl!
[waves it in front of Donkey]
Donkey
Do I look like a bloodhound to you? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a donkey, not a dog! If I was a dog, they’d call me Dog, not Donkey! And another thing... Wait a minute. I think I got something. Whatever it is, it’s sweet.
[Then he started sniffing.; sniffed the air some more, walking around a bit.]
Shrek
Fiona.
Donkey
Luscious and tasty.
Shrek
Hey! That’s my wife you’re talking about. Donkey!
[frowns; Donkey then abruptly rose his head up, and dashed off into the forest.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Heroic Claim of Victory
Donkey
Puss and Donkey to the rescue! We saved the day!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Curse of Princess Fiona Explained
Rumpelstiltskin
Once upon a time a long time ago, a king and a queen had a beautiful daughter named Fiona. But she was possessed by a terrible curse. By day, a lovely princess; by night, a hideous ogre. Only true love's kiss would lift her curse. So Fiona waited in a tower, guarded by a dragon, until the day when her true love would arrive. But as the days turned into years, the King and Queen were forced to resort to more desperate measures.
[narrating]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ogre Refuses to Apologize Amidst Chaos
Shrek
If she thinks I'm going to slink back there and apologize, she’s got another thing coming. She’s not the boss of me. I’m an ogre, and I’m not gonna apologize for actin like one.
Rumpelstiltskin
Help, please! Someone, anyone at all, help me! Please, help! Please, help! I’m stuck! Help! Oh, please, help! Someone, anyone! Help me! The pain! I can see a bright light. A tunnel! Grandma? Is that you?
[from the distance]
Shrek
Yeah, it’s me, Granny.
Rumpelstiltskin
AN OGRE?! Please, Mr. Ogre, please don’t eat me!
Shrek
I’m not gonna eat you.
Rumpelstiltskin
But you are an ogre… aren’t you?
[peeks out]
Shrek
Yeah, well, I… I used to be. Look, move out or get crushed.
Rumpelstiltskin
So, you're not gonna eat me?
Shrek
No, thanks. I already had a big bowl of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.
Rumpelstiltskin
Wait up! What’s your rush? Where you going'?
Shrek
Nowhere.
Rumpelstiltskin
What a coincidence! I was just headin that way myself. But seriously, let me give ya a ride. I insist. Come on. It’s the least I can do, after all you’ve done for me. I got a hot rat cookin'. All right! So, can I interest you in a mudslide? Slug and tonic? A liquid libation to ease that frustration, huh? Eyeball-tini?
[grins]
Shrek
Well, maybe just one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek's Powerful Expression of Frustration
Shrek
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mutual Rescue in Shrek Forever After
Shrek
No. It was you that rescued me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Promise of a Roar Disappointed
Butterpants father
Hey! I believe you promised my son a roar.
Butterpants
Do the roar.
Shrek
Uh, roar.
Butterpants
I don't like it.
[unimpressed]
Shrek
Pigs, we need another cake.
Heimlich
But we ate ze other cakes.
Butterpants father
Come on, man. One roar!
Donkey
Hey, everybody. Shrek’s gonna do his famous ogre roar!
[The Dronkeys gathered around their dad, excited for uncle Shrek's roar.]
Shrek
Not now, Donkey. Pigs, are there any cupcakes?
Dieter
We ate them, too.
Heimlich
Zhey have lollipops.
Horst
No, I ate them.
Dieter
What, you didn’t share?
Horst
Well, you didn’t share the croissants!
[frowns]
Shrek
Everything's gonna be okay.
Princess Fiona
Shrek, what's going on?
[came and took her kids, holding them.]
Donkey
Come on, Shrek! Your fans are waitin'.
Butterpants
Do the roar.
Crowd
Do the Roar! Do the Roar!
Princess Fiona
We Need the Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Shrek
RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!
Butterpants
(chuckles as he hugs his dad) I love you, daddy.
Puss in Boots
Everybody, I have found... another cake!
[lifted his cape to reveal another cake decorated like the last one.]
Princess Fiona
Shrek? Are you okay?
Everyone
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
Princess Fiona
Unbelievable!
Shrek
Tell me about it! Those villagers are...
Princess Fiona
I'm not talking about the villagers, Shrek, I'm talking about you. Is this really how you want to remember the kids first birthday?
Shrek
Oh, great. So this is all my fault?
Princess Fiona
Yes! But.... You know what? Let's talk about this after the party, at home.
Shrek
You mean that roadside attraction we live in? "Step right up! See the dancing ogre! Don't worry! He won't bite!" I USED to be an ogre, now I'm just a Jolly Green Joke!
[mimicking the tour guide]
Princess Fiona
Okay, okay. Maybe you're not the ogre you used to be. But maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Shrek
Oh, I wouldn't expect you to understand. It is not like you're a real ogre. You spent half your life in a palace!
[scoffs; throws down the party hat]
Princess Fiona
And the other half locked away in a tower.
[solemnly]
Shrek
Look, all I want is for things to go back to the way they used to be. Back when villagers were afraid of me, and I could take a mud bath in peace, when I could do what I wanted when I wanted to do it. Back when the world made sense!
[sighs]
Princess Fiona
You mean, back before you rescued me from the Dragon's Keep?
[sharply]
Shrek
Exactly!
[angrily]
Princess Fiona
Shrek, you have three beautiful children, a wife who loves you, friends who adore you. You have everything. Why is it the only person who can't see that... is you?
[widens her eyes in great shock, not believing what her husband just said to her; solemnly]
Shrek
That's just great.
[bitterly; leaves]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek Seeks Help with Fiona's Feelings
Shrek
Donkey! I hate to pull you away from your adoring public, but I’m not getting anywhere with Fiona.
[as Donkey opens his real eyes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek Searches for Fiona in Distress
Shrek
Sure is great to be wanted again. Oh, nice one.
[sees another poster]
Shrek
Fiona?
Shrek
Oh no.
Shrek
My home. Fiona! Fiona! Are you in there?!
[runs to it; However, the structure was very solid when he came up to it.]
Shrek
All right, Rumpel! This wasn’t part of the deal! Rumpel!
[yelling out; He looked around and saw all the trees in his swamp all dry and leafless. Not only that, but there was no grass, plants or any swamp water. The place looked like a complete dried-up wasteland.]
Broomsy Witch
Ogre! We’ve got another one, ladies! Get him!
[points at Shrek; Shrek gave a confused shrug. The other witches joined Broomsy.]
Shrek
Who are you?! What are you doing in my swamp?!
Broomsy Witch
Looks like a troublemaker!
Broomsy Witch
Spread ‘em!
Broomsy Witch
Nice job, ladies!
Shrek
You witches are making a big mistake! I know my rights!
Pumpkin Witch
You have the right to shut your mouth!
[drops a pumpkin which explodes with smoke in Shrek's face]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Request Among Friends
Puss in Boots
Uh, Donkey, can I borrow your tongue?
Donkey
Say what?! Nuh-uh! No. Hell... I don't care how big your eyes get, player, it's not going down. All right!
[stops licking himself; Puss started doing his 'big eyes' trick.; His eyes grew even bigger, until the groaning Donkey finally gave in.; Donkey took a deep breath and stuck his tongue out, ready to lick Puss, though he was disgusted to do so.]
Shrek
Stop!
Donkey
Huh?
[he and Puss saw Fiona heading up the path to a bridge and holding the lantern, with Shrek following.]
Shrek
Where are you going?!
Princess Fiona
To save my friends!
Shrek
How, by getting yourself killed?!
Princess Fiona
If that is what it takes!
Shrek
Puss, say something!
Princess Fiona
Puss?!
[suspiciously]
Puss in Boots
Eh, let me explain.
Princess Fiona
So that's how you knew so much about me.
[walks off]
Shrek
Fiona, wait! Kiss me!
[jumping in front of her]
Princess Fiona
What?!
Shrek
It's the only way to save your friends.
Princess Fiona
Get out of my way!
[walks past him]
Shrek
You used to believe that a single kiss could solve everything!
Shrek
I don't understand. This doesn't make any sense! True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything!
[frustrated]
Princess Fiona
Yeah, well, you know what? That's what they told me too. True love didn't get me out of that tower. I did! I saved myself! Don't you get it?! It's all just a big fairy tale!
[short pauses; trolls gone]
Shrek
Fiona, don't say that, it does exist!
[pleads]
Princess Fiona
And how would you know?! Did you grow up locked away in a dragon's keep?! Did you live all alone in a miserable tower?! Did you cry yourself to sleep every night waiting true love that NEVER CAME?!
[voice cracked]
Shrek
But... but I'm your true love.
Princess Fiona
Then where were you when I needed you?
Donkey
Maybe you kissed her... wrong?
[worriedly]
Shrek
No. The kiss didn't work... because Fiona doesn't love me.
[sadly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Villagers Seek Shrek's Signature on Tools
Villagers
Hey, Shrek! Shrek!
Villager 1
(holds up his pitchfork's handle) Mr. Shrek, will you sign our pitchforks?
Villager 2
(holds up his torch) And our torches?
Villager 3
Man, you used to be so fierce!
Villager 2
Yeah, when you were a real ogre.
Shrek
A real ogre?
[puzzled]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rumpelstiltskin's Deceptive Offer to the Citizens
Brogan
Don't despair, fellow ogres! They can put us in cages, but they can't cage our honour!
Rumpelstiltskin
What!? Shrek and Fiona are together?! Yeah, I've heard enough of your toot-a-lee-toot-toot-toots! YOU BLEW IT! Wolfie! My speech wig. Baba! Ready for my make up. And Piper pulled my socks up. Wee tight.
[furiously; Piper frantically flute-spoke some more.; stomping his feet in rage; turns on to Wolf; turns on to Baba; turns on Piper; Piper set the setting to socks and played his flute so Rumpelstiltskin's socks could be slithered up his legs tight like magic.]
Magic Mirror
Attention, citizens. Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator!
Rumpelstiltskin
Hello, people. It is I, Rumpelstiltskin... shepherd of your dreams. Recently, a certain somebody has jeopardized our joyous lives. And that somebody is the rat-munching ogre called Shrek! That is why I come to you, dear citizens. For whomever brings me this ogre, shall receive the deal of a lifetime. Just think of it! Total and complete happiness. Dazzling, radiant fulfilment! All your greatest wishes. Your wildest dreams. Anything you could ever want! No strings attached! But hurry, this is a limited time offer. So light your torches, sharpen your pitchforks and get your mob on!
[Man coughing; Pinocchio groan]
Puss in Boots
It seems that we are safe.
Donkey
Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky and torchy out there. Let's go.
Shrek
Oh, what's the point? The kiss didn't work. It's over.
[bitterly]
Donkey
Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now, but things always work themselves out in the end. You'll see. Well, I'll bet by this time tomorrow-
Shrek
Hey, don't you understand?! There is no tomorrow, there's no day after that, and there's no day after that, DAY AFTER THAT! My life was perfect! And I'm never gonna get it back!
[angrily; voice cracked]
Donkey
Well, if your life was so perfect, then why did you sign it all the way to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?
Shrek
Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone, all right?! I didn't know what I had.
[sighs, deeply remorseful now; He looked like he was about to cry, but then he felt something and heard tiny shouting. He looked down and saw Gingy hitting and attacking his feet with his lollipop.]
Gingy
Ha! Chah! Surrender now! I'm taking you in! Don't try to fight it, ogre! The reward is mine!
Shrek
Gingy?
[picked the gingerbread man up]
Gingy
You unhand me, green devil!
Shrek
What are you doing?
Gingy
Collecting my bounty!
Puss in Boots
Bounty?
Donkey
What are you talking about, cracker?
Gingy
Rumpelstiltskin promised the deal of a lifetime for whoever could bring you in.
Shrek
Deal of a lifetime?
Gingy
Where all your wishes come true.
[last words; Shrek pondered this for a bit.]
Shrek
Wait a minute. I can still fix this.
Donkey
Now, how you gonna do that?
Shrek
You know what? I'm gonna give Rumpelstiltskin exactly what he wants. OK, Gingy, tell me about this... (Puss, what are you doing?!)
[set Gingy down; turns to Gingy; But to his surprise, there were only crumbs and a gumdrop button on the ground. He looked and saw Puss eating something, and it was apparently Gingy. The cat noticed the ogre looking at him, and gave a sheepish look.]
Puss in Boots
Were you going to eat that?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rumpelstiltskin Reflects on Shrek's Legacy
Rumpelstiltskin
No one would have guessed that an ogre named Shrek, whose roar was feared throughout the land, would save the beautiful Princess Fiona.
[narrating; He angrily turned the page, showing a picture of Shrek and Fiona kissing and a separate picture of their babies.]
Rumpelstiltskin
True love’s kiss led to marriage and ogre babies!
[irate]
Rumpelstiltskin
The kingdom of Far Far Away was finally at peace (sarcastically) Goody for them!
Rumpelstiltskin
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY--
[furiously]
Rumpelstiltskin
EVER--
Rumpelstiltskin
AFTER!
Pinocchio
Uh, sir? You’re gonna have to pay for that.
Rumpelstiltskin
Uh, m-m-maybe we can make a deal for it, little boy?
Pinocchio
Oh, I'm not a real boy.
Rumpelstiltskin
Do you want to be?
[looking devious]
Pinocchio
NOBODY NEEDS YOUR DEALS ANYMORE, GRUMPEL STINKYPANTS!
[kicks him out of the library; closes the door]
Rumpelstiltskin
I wish that ogre was never born!
[coughs, and looks at the ripped page of the royal family in anger]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange Between Friends
Puss in Boots
Come on, Donkey, ¡¡vamonos!!
Donkey
Man, you are a cat-tastrophe!!
Puss in Boots
And you, are ri-donkey-lous!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek Celebrates Farkle's Birthday
Shrek
Happy birthday, Farkle! Fergus, my little man! And Felicia, sweetheart, I believe this is yours.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek Seeks Fiona's Whereabouts
Shrek
Donkey, what's going on? Do you know were Fiona is?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ogre Hunt Announcement in Far Far Away
Princess Fiona
Listen up, everyone. Word has come from Far Far Away. Stiltskin is leading tonight’s ogre hunt himself.
Ogres
He’s never done that before. What? Why?
Donkey
I bet that’s because of us.
Shrek
Shhh!
Brogan
If that cupcake-eating clown finally leaves the safety of his filthy witch nest, he’ll be vulnerable.
Princess Fiona
The plan’s simple. If they follow the usual patrol route, they’ll reach the river by midnight. We’ll be concealed along this road, waiting for his caravan. Once they reach the clearing, I’ll give the signal. And then we attack!
Princess Fiona
And when the smoke clears… Wait, what’s this?
[noticed a model of Cookie with some sort of wagon.]
Cookie
That’s my chimichanga stand.
Princess Fiona
No, Cookie. We won’t be needing that.
Cookie
Trust me, Fiona. Y’all gonna be really hungry after this ambush, okay? Go ahead and finish your little speech.
Princess Fiona
All right, as I was saying, when the smoke clears, Rumpelstiltskin is gone and the chimichangas have been eaten. Far Far Away will finally be free.
Brogan
And so will we.
Princess Fiona
Spread the word. We move out as soon as Rumpel leaves the palace.
Donkey
Man, this is serious!
Shrek
Tell me about it. How am I ever gonna get her to kiss me before sunrise?
[slumps back]
Donkey
Actually, I was talking about the revolution.
Shrek
Revolution?
[scoff]
Donkey
Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you are her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
Shrek
Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire breathing dragon, and you have little mutant donkey-dragon babies?
[sarcastically]
Donkey
I do?!
Shrek
You saw what happened, she's gonna think I'm crazy.
Shrek
You know what? If I got Fiona to kiss me once... Then I can do it again.
[spots the frog; blows into a frog's mouth, inflating it like a balloon]
Donkey
Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?
[offscreen]
Shrek
Donkey, shh. Hello? Fiona?
[enters Fiona's tent]
Puss in Boots
You should not be here, señor.
[green eyes are shown in the shadows of a cat condo]
Shrek
Puss? You've gotta be kiddin me.
[Puss struggles to get out of his resting place, revealing himself as now overweight with a pink bow on wrapped around the back of his neck]
Puss in Boots
Feed me, if you dare.
Shrek
Puss, what happened to you?! You got so fa... Fancy!
[as he goes to say "fat", Puss gives him a look]
Puss in Boots
Do I know you?
Shrek
Well, where is your hat and your belt? And your wee little boots?
[gasps softly]
Puss
Boots, for a cat?
[laughs]
Shrek
But you're Puss in Boots.
Puss in Boots
Maybe once. But that is a name I have outgrown.
[opens a bottle of milk]
Shrek
That's not the only thing you have outgrown.
[under his breath]
Puss in Boots
Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life! I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase. Eh, I'll get him later.
[a mouse runs up to his bowl and starts drinking out of it; starts drinking out of the bowl himself]
Shrek
Oh, Puss, what have I done to you? You've gone soft.
Puss in Boots
Well, I do get brushed twice a day.
Shrek
Look, it’s not too late to fix it. All you have to do is help me get a kiss from Fiona...
Princess Fiona
What are you doing?!
[enters her tent]
Shrek
Hey!
[notices Fiona behind him turns around]
Princess Fiona
Can I help you with something?
Shrek
Well, I know how stressful mounting a rebellion can be, rallying the troops, planning attacks and all that, so I brought you a little something to ease the tension.
Princess Fiona
A gift basket?
Shrek
You’re welcome. So let’s see what you got. Heart-shaped box of slugs. A skunk-scented candle. Mmm.
[He then got out each different gift from the basket.; sniff]
Princess Fiona
Look, this really isn’t the…
Shrek
What’s this? Coupons! Let’s see, "Good for one free foot massage." "A mud facial!" Oh, and here’s one. "Good for one free kiss." Let’s cash it now.
[holds out a homemade coupon book; came to one that had a childish drawing of his face on it.]
Princess Fiona
Look, I don’t know what this is all about, but I’m trying to run a revolution. So unless you have Rumpelstiltskin’s head in there, I suggest you take your gift basket, get out of my tent and go make yourself useful.
Shrek
Wow. You’re right. I am sorry. I was just trying to be friendly. No hard feelings? An apologetic hug? And a quick kiss goodbye. Wait! Is that mistletoe I see?
[holds out hand; Fiona decided to shake his hand.; The two hugged.; Fiona quickly stopped him by stomping his foot then grabbed his arm and placed it behind his back in pain, forcing him to leave.; Fiona pushed him thrown out of the tent on his back before Donkey came to him with a grin.]
Donkey
Hey, Shrek! Are my babies cute, or do they make people feel uncomfortable?
Princess Fiona
Where’d we find that guy?
Puss in Boots
Could it be true? Have the years of prim and pampery made me soft?
Princess Fiona
Don’t be silly. Now who’s a pretty kitty?
[then got out a comb and crush.]
Puss in Boots
I am.
[gives cute pose]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek's Reflection on Rescue and Expectations
Shrek
You know, I always thought I rescued you from the Dragon's Keep.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Suspicious Waffles in the Forest
Donkey
Yeah! Waffles! And I thought the Waffle Fairy was just a bedtime story. Sticky stacks of golden, syrupy deliciousness!
[rushes up to plate]
Shrek
Donkey! Don't eat that! There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest. Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious? I’m just... What are you...? Bad Donkey! Mustn’t--I said, don’t! Don’t! No! Get away from it! You did.
[Points Donkey; Donkey stopped and frowned.; Donkey trying to take a little nibble of the waffles, but Shrek kept protesting against it.; Donkey extended his tongue out and licked the dripping syrup of the waffles.]
Donkey
Uh-oh.
Shrek
Look out!
[ducks]
Shrek
Donkey! Are you OK?
Donkey
I’m fine.
[But then his hooves got snagged by a rope trap and he was yanked away, screaming.]
Shrek
Donkey.
[leaped into the hole and saw it led to a tunnel, and because it was small to walk through, he had to army crawl through it.]
Donkey
Help! Help me! Help, Shrek! Help!
Ogre #1
Watch your head.
Ogre #2
Hey, it’s a new guy!
Ogre #3
Look at him, all dressed up in his Sunday vest.
Gretched
He’s really tiny, isn’t he?
Ogre #2
Yeah.
Brogan
Fate has delivered us a comrade-in-arms and for that, we are thankful. Suit him up!
Ogre #3
Let’s go, greenie.
Shrek
Now, wait a minute! Hey!
[He was placed on an armor vest, along with some wrist bands, and a helmet. One ogre smacked him in the rear to get him going.]
Brogan
Here you go.
Brogan
Welcome to the resistance.
Shrek
Resistance?
[confused]
Brogan
We fight for freedom and ogres everywhere!
[puts arm around Shrek; He then held his nose and started blowing a toot through his ears, and then, all the other ogres held their noses and blew through their ears. When the blowing was done, the resistance ogres hooted and laughed while Shrek was even more stunned than already.]
Shrek
I didn't know we could do that.
[about soilders using their horn]
Donkey
Help! You can’t eat me! I got the mange! I’m poisonous! I’m all poi…
Shrek
I’ll take him! This order’s to go.
Cookie
Hey! I haven’t removed his giblets yet.
Shrek
Trust me, you don’t wanna eat this one.
Donkey
I go down smooth, but come out fighting!
Shrek
Let go!
Cookie
Don’t make Papa mad.
Shrek
Your dinner is my friend!
Brogan
Come on, guys!
Cookie
I got to get the giblets out!
Ogres
She’s back.
[Shrek turned and saw a figure arriving on the hill, who was clad with a helmet and armor, and holding an axe in her hand. She removed her helmet, and revealed to be none other than Fiona (in ogre form). She stood there, with the wind blowing her hair, giving it a dramatic flare. When Shrek saw her, he grinned in so much relief.]
Shrek
Fiona! I’m so happy I found you!
[happily; hands axe to one of the ogres began running up to her, Fiona spots at him; Fiona kicks him and sending him flying, yelling in slow-motion, before crashing to the ground. The ogres winced while some couldn't help but chuckle a bit. The groaning Shrek got up.]
Princess Fiona
Maybe you missed orientation, but for future reference, personal space is very important to me.
[walked up, handing her axe to Gretched.; her helmet to Brogan.]
Shrek
You don’t know who I am, do you?
[worried]
Princess Fiona
No. Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away. Gather the others and meet me in the war room.
[to Brogan]
Shrek
Fiona.
Princess Fiona
Gretched, make sure everyone is prepared to move out tonight.
[to Gretched]
Shrek
I need to talk to you.
Princess Fiona
What is it?!
[turns on Shrek]
Shrek
OK, I know you don’t remember me, but… we’re married. Hear me out. And at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet, the villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforks, and this boy kept saying, "Do the roar. Do the roar." Then I punched the cakes that the pigs ate and the next thing I knew, my donkey fell in your waffle hole. Right? Who’s with me?
[calmly; Needless to say, Fiona gave a confused look.; As he explained and tried making it sound as believable as he could, Brogan and Gretched were equally as confused as Fiona.; as Butterpants; Needless to say as well, pretty much all ogres that weren't he, were completely dumbstruck, and so was Donkey.]
Princess Fiona
Wow, I guess I must have kicked him harder than I thought.
[chuckles a bit]
Shrek
Fiona, I need to…
Princess Fiona
Witches! All right, everyone, you know the drill! went to their battle stations.]
[She and the other ogres [except Shrek]
Shrek
Fiona!
Donkey
Witches! Oh, no! Witches! Witches!
Shrek
Come on, now.
[grabbed Donkey and the sticks he was still attached to.]
Brogan
Fiona, that’s the third patrol today. We can’t hide forever.
Princess Fiona
Trust me, Brogan. After tonight, we won’t have to.
Donkey
That’s your wife?
[to Shrek]
Shrek
That’s my wife.
Donkey
Well, I see who wears the chain mail in your family!
[Shrek gave a weird look at him.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Help and Friendship
Donkey
Just take my wallet!
[running]
Shrek
Hey!
[chases after Donkey]
Donkey
Just take my wallet! I'M BEING ASS-NAAAAAAPPED! HELP! ANIMAL CRUELTY! HELP--!
[running; Shrek tackles Donkey]
Shrek
You need to calm down. I'm your friend.
[covers Donkey mouth]
Donkey
My friend?!
[muffled]
Shrek
I'm not gonna hurt you, all right? Good! I'm gonna let go.... right.... now.
[uncovers Donkey's mouth]
Donkey
Please! EAT MY FACE LAST! SEND MY HOOVES TO MY MAMA!
[screaming]
Shrek
Donkey! You got to trust me.
Donkey
Why should I trust you?
Shrek
Because... Because.... OK. Winter, spring, summer, fall, all you got to do is call... And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye... You've got a friend. FINE! GO AHEAD, RUN AWAY, WHO NEEDS YOU!
[sighs; singing; Donkey looks up at Shrek and smiles at him, but then runs away screaming]
Donkey
I’ve never seen an ogre cry.
[offscreen]
Shrek
I’m not crying.
[wiped the tear away]
Donkey
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I cry all the time. Just thinking about my grandma, or thinking about baby kittens, or my grandma kissing a baby kitten, or a little baby grandma kitten. That is so darn sad.
[choking up; starts to cry himself]
Shrek
I said I’m not crying!
Donkey
Hey, take it easy, I’m only trying to help. It’s none of my business why you’re upset. By the way, why are you upset?
[recovers]
Shrek
I was tricked into signing something I shouldn’t have.
Donkey
Oh, you signed up for one of them time-shares, huh?
Shrek
No. I signed this.
[pulls out contract]
Donkey
You should never sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin!
[gasps]
Shrek
Yeah, I got that.
Donkey
His fine print is crafty.
Shrek
I know.
Donkey
His exit clauses are sneaky.
Shrek
Yeah, I...What did you say?
Donkey
I’m talking about the exit clause. Used to be, you had to guess his name, but now everybody knows who Rumpelstiltskin is.
Shrek
Donkey, I’ve read the fine print, and there’s nothing about an exit clause in here.
Donkey
Well, you didn’t expect him to make it easy for you. Here, let me show you how it’s done. I didn’t spend all that time around them witches without picking up a few tricks. Your tiny, little ogre brain couldn’t begin to comprehend the complexity of my polygonic foldability skills.
[grabbed the contract with his teeth and placed it on the ground, starting to fold the paper.]
Shrek
What are you doing?
Donkey
Hey, I can’t get my origami on unless you back off. Thank you. OK, here’s what you gotta do. You fold this piece here, make this letter match up here, bring this corner here, and if you do it just right, it will show you what to do. There! "Try Lou’s Bliss. " Now, who’s Lou?
[Shrek rolled his eyes and sighed as Donkey continued folding.; Then Shrek saw that Donkey's paper folding started to from letters together to form the exit clause. Once Donkey was finished, he showed the folded up paper to the ogre.; Shrek only gave a confused look.]
Shrek
Give me that! "True Love’s Kiss.
[snatched the paper and did some folding himself, and then it showed a heart with the TRUE words of the exit clause: "True Love's Kiss".]
Donkey
Hey, boy, you gonna have to take me to dinner first.
Shrek
According to fairy tale law, if not fully satisfied, true love’s kiss will render this contract null and void." Donkey, you did it! Look at you! If Fiona and I share true love’s kiss, I will get my life back!
[rolls eyes; picked Donkey up and hugged him, with Donkey struggling.]
Donkey
OK! This isn’t a petting zoo! So where is this Fiona?
[gets down]
Shrek
Well, that’s just it, you see. I don’t know.
Donkey
You know, when I lose something, I always try to retrace my steps. So, where did you leave her last?
Shrek
The last time I saw her, I told her I wished I’d never rescued her. Oh, no.
[His eyes widened in realization.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Each Other's Quirks
Shrek
I know everything about you, I know you sing so beautifully that birds explode.
Princess Fiona
Big deal.
Shrek
I know that when you sign your name, you put a heart over the I.
Princess Fiona
So what?
Shrek
I know that when you see a shooting star, you cross your fingers on both hands, squinch up your nose, and you make a wish. I know that you don't like the covers wrapped around your feet, and I know that you sleep by candlelight because every time you close your eyes, you're afraid you're going to wake up back in that tower. But mostly importantly, Fiona. I know that the reason that you turn human every day. Is because you've never been kissed. Well, by me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shrek's Search for His Family
Shrek
Where’s Fiona? Where’s my family?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Envy of an Ogre's Freedom
Shrek
So the centaur says, "That’s not the half I’m talkin about.
Rumpelstiltskin
I gotta say, Shrek, I envy you. To live the life of an ogre…no worries, no responsibilities. You are free to pillage and terrorize as you please.
[takes a sip of an eyeball-tini]
Shrek
Free? That’s a laugh.
[chuckles and rolls eyes]
Rumpelstiltskin
Oh yeah?
Shrek
Sometimes I wish I had just one day to feel like a real ogre again.
[ate the eyeball off the toothpick.]
Rumpelstiltskin
Well, why didn’t ya say so? Magical transactions are my specialty! Come on!
[stands up in his chair; He then grabbed all the empty glasses to put them away.]
Shrek
Oh, great. Next to mimes, magicians are my favorite people.
Rumpelstiltskin
Hold on. "King for a Month." "Knight for a Week." Ah. "Ogre for a day".
[laughed sarcastically while climbing a ladder.; started rummaging through his deal scrolls.; finds one; He then laid out one special contract onto the table, titled "Ogre for a Day".]
Rumpelstiltskin
Think about it, Shrek. To be feared and hated. You’ll be like, "Roar!" And the villagers will be like, "Get away! It’s Shrek! I’m so scared of him!" It would be just like the good old days, when your swamp was your castle. When the world made... sense.
[mimicking scared citizen]
Shrek
All right, what’s the catch?
Rumpelstiltskin
Catch? No. There’s no catch. No catchings, really. I mean, there’s something. A small thing. Nothing. A little thing.
Shrek
Alright. I knew it. So what do you want?
Rumpelstiltskin
A day.
Shrek
A day?
Rumplestiltskin
Ooh, rat's done!
Rumpelstiltskin
Well, to make the magic work, you gotta give something to get something. In this case, you gotta give a day to get a day. That’s all.
Shrek
I can’t just pick up and leave my family.
Rumpelstiltskin
Oh, but that’s the best part, Shrek! It’s a magical contract. No one will even know you’re gone. And by the time this day is up, (gives a smile) you are gonna feel like a changed ogre.
Shrek
Still, I don’t know.
Rumpelstiltskin
Hey, no problem. Forget it, no big D. It doesn’t matter. Hey, do you like white meat or dark meat?
Shrek
So what day would I have to give up?
[As Rumpelstiltskin got out a knife and fork, he smirked secretly.]
Rumpelstiltskin
Oh, I don’t know, any day. A day from your past. (starts carving the rat) How bout the day you had the flu? A day you lost a pet? A day some meddling oaf stuckhisbignosewhereitdidn'tbelong, DESTROYING YOUR BUSINESS AND RUINING YOUR LIFE?! Just for an example.
[bitterly/faster; Of course, he was carving so fast that he ended up cutting through the rat and the plate, breaking it. Shrek looked at him a bit strangely but Rumpelstiltskin quickly realized his behavior as he hastily began to bring back his composure.; He placed the plate with the lower half of the rat on the table.]
Shrek
Well, how about the day I met Donkey? Now there’s a day I’d like to take back.
[laughing]
Rumpelstiltskin
I don’t know who that is. I know. What about a day you wouldn’t even remember? Like a day when you were a baby. An innocent, mindless little baby.
[laughing; gets an idea]
Shrek
You can take any of those days you want. Take them all, for all I care.
Rumpelstiltskin
Oh, just one will do. OK, good. A day from your childhood it is.
[He then got out the ink jar and feather pen, dabbed the said pen into said jar, with a small magic spark appearing.]
Shrek
I guess there’s nothin wrong with wanting a little time for myself.
Rumpelstiltskin
Just 24 tiny little hours.
Shrek
I’m still my own ogre!
Rumpelstiltskin
Yeah, you is!
Shrek
I never needed to ask for anyone’s permission before.
Rumpelstiltskin
So why start now, huh?
[pushes the contract towards him]
Rumpelstiltskin
Go on, Shrek. Sign it!
Shrek
So, tell me. What happens now?
Rumpelstiltskin
Have a nice day.
[mockingly]
Shrek
Whoooaaa! WHOOOOAAAAAAAAAA!!
Shrek
I think I fell on my keys.
[groans]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Trusting Deceit in a Desperate Situation
King Harold
I don’t know about this, Lillian. Fairy Godmother said only true love’s kiss could break Fiona’s curse.
Queen Lillian
I don’t trust that woman, Harold. This may be our last hope. Besides, he does come highly recommended by King Midas.
King Harold
But to put our daughter’s life in the hands of this…person? He’s devious. He’s deceitful. He’s...he’s…
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rumpelstiltskin's Optimism Amidst Chaos
Rumpelstiltskin
Some people like to look at the goblet as--as half empty. Me, I like to look at it as half full. We’ve gone from the bottom to the top, ladies, but we’re not just an empire, we’re a family. Everyone has got their cupcake? Cupcake? Cupcake? Good. Yes? Baba? Good. Yeah, you know, we have put away a lot of ogres. And so one got away. Who cares? It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. Except, funny thing... Now that I think about it, the ogre who got away is Shrek! And if he shares a kiss with Fiona by sunrise, it IS the end of the world! OUR world! MY EMPIRE!!
[turned to a table where some of his witches was sitting, and each had her own cupcake.; to one of the witches; Baba nodded; walked around the table as he continued.; One of the witches who was eating her cupcake, nodded in agreement.; Then he came to the edge of the table, with the tone of his voice becoming a bit more sharp.; He motioned the witch he was near to help him upon top of the table and that's what she did, and the villain began to rant.; with frustration raising in his voice]
Rumpelstiltskin
But, as I was saying, I like to look at the goblet as half full. Yelling makes me so parched. Would anyone care for some water? Wet your whistle? A clear, crisp, delicious glass...of aqua purificada? Anybody’s thirsty? Nobody’s thirsty? No? Well, then does anyone care to tell me what it’s going to take to get this ogre?! You.
[takes pitcher of water and pours it into glass; The witches gasped and whimpered in fear, knowing that he might use it to melt any one of them.; He began to walk across the table and shove the glass of water in one of the panicked witches' faces.; She shook her head 'no' in fear as he slyly walked over to another panicked witch.; She nervously declined as well.; puts pitcher down; narrowed his eyes and pointed to Broomsy Witch]
Broomsy Witch
Faster brooms?
Rumpelstiltskin
No!
Hat Witch
Pointier hats?
[scared]
Rumpelstiltskin
No! You!
[to another witch]
Witch
Maybe we could hire a professional bounty hunter? What a world! What a world!
[He shouted and stomped his feet in frustration before splashing the water onto the witch, melting her like a certain other witch, as she's melting]
Rumpelstiltskin
You know, actually not a bad idea. Baba! I need a bounty hunter. And if music doth soothe the savage beast…(chortles evilly a bit) then I think I might know just the person!
[points to Baba; Baba jumped out of her chair in fear.; He dipped his finger in the frosting of the cupcake and licked the frosting right off, giving a malicious grin.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Disruption During a Cheerful Tune
Donkey
♪ Just thinking about tomorrow Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow Til there's none When I'm stuck with a day That's gray And lonely
[singing]
Shrek
Donkey, stop with the singing, will you?
[groans; His eyes opened up in realization.]
Donkey
♪ I just stick out my chin, And grin, And say
Shrek
Donkey! Ow!
[hit his head on the ceiling.]
Donkey
♪ Oh, the sun'll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on til tomorrow Come what may Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, Tomorrow! ♪
[He peeked and saw Donkey, fuzzier, pulling the carriage he was in There were two witches on top of the cage in charge of driving..]
Shrek
Donkey, where am I? What’s happening?!
Cage Witch #1
Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song.
[whipped Donkey, making him yelp as he sang a different song.]
Shrek
Hey! Please don't hit Donkey! It's not very nice.
Donkey
♪ But I made up my mind I'm keeping my baby Ooooh ♪
[singing]
Cage Witch #2
Yeah, I’m driving, so I’m in charge of the music.
[took the instrument of torture and gave the donkey another lash.]
Donkey
Will you witches make up your mind, please? ♪ No matter what they take from me ♪
[The only response was another lash.; The second witch grinned, apparently liking the song as she nudged her partner, who also liked the song. They even started to sing along.]
Donkey and Witches
♪ They can't take away my dignity Because the greatest love of all ♪
[singing]
Shrek
Psst, Donkey? What's going on? Do you know where Fiona is?
Donkey
Shh! Quiet, ogre! You're gonna get me in trouble and I need this job. I am not going back to work for Old MacDonald. Tell me to E-I-E-I-O. "E-I-E-I-No!" That's what I said.
Shrek
Where are my babies? And where's your wife, Dragon?
[as Donkey rolls his eyes]
Donkey
Look, ogre. I think you have me confused with some other talking donkey. I've never seen you before in my life.
Shrek
Never seen me before? Come on, Donkey!
[puzzled]
Donkey
And how do you know my name anyway?
Shrek
It's me, Shrek. Your best friend?
Donkey
A donkey and an ogre friends? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!
[scoffs; As he kept pulling the cage, Shrek fumed in frustration.]
Shrek
Can you at least tell me where they're taking me?
Donkey
To the same place they take every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin.
Shrek
Stiltskin!
Cage Witch
I said, quiet!
[hits Shrek with her broom; The second witch whipped Donkey again.]
Donkey
♪ Hit me with your best shot ♪ ♪ Why don't you hit me with your best shot Hit me with your best shot ♪
[singing; Shrek then pounded the cage angrily as he saw something definitely different, and to his horror, it was most of the letters of the Far, Far Away sign destroyed.]
Shrek
Oh, no.
Donkey
♪ Fire away! ♪
[To make matters worse, the green hills of the kingdom were now like a barren wasteland, and the castle is replaced with a huge fortress of a castle with a familiar carriage at the top, with a big 'R' on top as well.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rumpelstiltskin's Interaction with Characters
Rumpelstiltskin
Daddy thinks you look real nice, Fifi. Honk. All right, Piggies, be gone! Don’t forget to take her little potty box with you.
[to the Three Pigs; Dieter and Heimlich then carried the potty box away in disgust, with Horst following and spraying some perfume to drown any odors. Fifi then snipped Horst in the curly tail, making him yelp.]
Horst
This little piggy wants to go home!
[whines; pigs gone]
Griselda
Mr. Stiltskin! He’s here.
[came running in]
Rumpelstiltskin
Pied Piper. How was your commute?
Rumpelstiltskin
Good.
Griselda
You call this guy a bounty hunter? What’s he gonna do, flute those ogres a lullaby? OK, got it! Make it stop!
[scoffs; motions flute playing; She and the other three witches chortled, while Rumpelstiltskin gave a nod to the piper, who nodded back, and then he turned the setting on the end of his flute from mouse to duck to witch. He then started playing a new song on the flute while beatboxing, and to the surprise of the witches, Griselda's arms began moving by themselves. Then she yelped as she started involuntarily breakdancing to the song, which is "Sure Shot" by the Beastie Boys, and the other two witches involuntarily got up and started dancing against their will as well, yelling in alarm.; Rumpelstiltskin just laughed at this, enjoying it. The dancing and song lasted for a bit, before the dictator got up, waving his arms.]
Rumpelstiltskin
All right, that’s enough. Looks like it’s time to pay the piper. Griselda, seriously, it’s time to pay the piper. Now go get my checkbook! Go! Move! Get out! Things are getting real sloppy around here!
[With that, the witches' dancing halted, ending with involuntary dancer poses as the three panted, and the piper ended his tune. he gave an evil look.; The witches still stood where they were.; The two witches left and Griselda got up to get the checkbook, but the impatient he kicked her rear.; The piper then switched the setting from witch to unicorn to his commissioned setting: ogre.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for a Business Wig
Witch
Mr. Stiltskin? You got another customer.
[Rumpelstiltskin took a sip from a cocktail drink, glancing at the customer with a wide smirk. spots at Pinocchio]
Rumpelstiltskin
Wolfie!
[turned to Wolf, now dressed as a maid, next to a cart full of different wigs]
Wolf
Yes, Mr. Stiltskin.
[dryly]
Rumpelstiltskin
Bring me my business wig.
Pinocchio
Mr. Stiltskin, oh, please!
[pleading]
Rumpelstiltskin
Abupupup! OK, go.
[cutting him off; The miserable wolf placed a Victorian styled white powdered wig over him]
Pinocchio
Oh, please make me a real boy!
Rumpelstiltskin
Go away! Terms are in the details, balsa boy.
[got out a rolled up contract and smacked the wolf away; to Pinocchio; rolled out the contract, and pushed it, a quill and an ink jar towards the puppet, who was eagerly ready to sign.]
Pinocchio
Sayonara, termites! Hello, acne!
Shrek
Stiltskin!
Rumpelstiltskin
Oh, Shrek! There he is!
[Witches gasps and the music stops; laughs stood up on his desk; walked across the desk, he unknowingly knocked over the ink jar, spilling ink over the spot where Pinocchio signed half his name in cursive.]
Pinocchio
Oh! So close!
[his arm was grabbed by one of the witches and dragged away from the table, without Rumpelstiltskin caring to notice.]
Rumpelstiltskin
Have I been waitin for you! Ladies, this is the guy that made all of this possible! So, tell me, how are you enjoying your day?
[hopped from the table and announced to all the witches.; They all cheered wildly. Then he climbed up towards Shrek; pulling on Shrek's ear whispers]
Shrek
All right, Rumpel, what’s going on?! What have you done?
Rumpelstiltskin
No, Shrek, it’s not what I’ve done. It’s what you’ve done. Thanks to you, the King and Queen signed their kingdom over to me.
[hopped off; skips to his table and sits on it]
Shrek
They would never do that.
[roll his eyes]
Rumpelstiltskin
They would if I promised them all their problems would disappear. And then they disappeared! They would have done anything if they thought it would end their daughter’s curse.
[Flashback to King Harold and Queen Lillian; King Harold writing the contract; King Harold and Queen Lillian screaming disappears drops their crowns flashback ends he holds the King's crown, sighs happily]
Shrek
I ended Fiona’s curse!
Rumpelstiltskin
How could you when you never existed?
Shrek
You better start making sense, you dirty little man!
Rumperstiltskin
Here, let spell out for ya. You gave me a day from your past, a day you wouldn't even remember, a day when you were an innocent, mindless, little baby.
[starts scatting "Happy Birthday"]
Shrek
You took the day I was born.
[shocked]
Rumpelstiltskin
No, Shrek. You gave it to me.
Shrek
Enjoy this while you can, Stiltskin, because when this day is up...
Rumpelstiltskin
But you haven’t heard the best part. Since you were never born, once this day comes to an end, so will you!
Shrek
Where's Fiona? WHERE’S MY FAMILY?!
Rumpelstiltskin
Silly little ogre. You don’t get it, do you? You see, you were never born. You never met Fiona. Your kids don’t exist. How’s that for a metaphysical paradox? Looks like you got exactly what you wanted! HAPPY OGRE-DAY!
[Then the witches all laughed at Shrek's misery, making him more upset. Rumpelstiltskin even taunted him some mores; mockingly]
Shrek
RUMPEL!! AAAAAHHHH!
[enraged; He lunged at Rumpelstiltskin, who yelped in alarm as he jumped back.]
Rumpelstiltskin
GET HIM! GET HIM, WITCHES!
Donkey
You know what’d help morale around here? Flip-flop Fridays. Feet would be comfortable with the breeze on your toes.
Witch
Come on, girls!
Rumpelstiltskin
Lock all the doors, you worthless witches! Do it!
[kicks a witch]
Shrek
I’ll be right back, Donkey!
[calls back; zoomed off, trying to figure out how to shake the witches.]
Donkey
I don’t know you. I don’t know him.
[to Rumpelstiltskin; The witches pursued Shrek through a higher story, and when he came to the edge and saw a pole, he smirked, getting an idea. Once he came to the pole, he swung around it and flew back, though rather lop-sided. When the witches saw him swerving towards them, they all flew out of the way to avoid getting hit. Shrek then managed to get a decent hold of the broom as he zoomed back to the bottom floor, dodging more incoming pumpkin bombs. He came back to the floor where Rumpelstiltskin and Donkey were, stopped the broom and glared at the foe.]
Donkey
I’m glad I’m not you.
[Rumpelstiltskin ran off as Shrek then swooped in, but instead of going after the deal maker who stole his birth, he scooped up Donkey in one swipe and flew into another room, with Donkey screaming for help.]
Donkey
Help me! Help!
Donkey
Oh, no! Help!
Rumpelstiltskin
No, not my pretty ball!
Shrek
Watch out!
[covers Donkey's eyes]
Rumpelstiltskin
Wolfe, my angry wig.
[turns on Wolf]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Fiona's Rescue in Shrek Forever After
Shrek
Oh, no. If I didn’t saved Fiona. Then who did?
[spots at Fiona's crown]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for Fiona's Signal
Brogan
Where's Fiona's signal?
Gretched
What she waiting for?
Cookie
He's going to get away!
Brogan
No, He's not.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.