Sister Act poster

Sister Act Quotes

"No booze. No sex. No drugs. No way."

PG 1992 · 1h 40m
68
Audience
68
Audience
20 quotes
Strict Lifestyle Guidelines for a New Life
Taglines No Sex. No Booze. No Men. No Way.
Visibility of a Conspicuous Individual
Reverend Mother That is not a person you can hide, that is a conspicuous person designed to stick out.
[about Deloris]
Apostles and a Quirky Response
Nun Who can name all the apostles?
Nun Yes, Deloris?
Deloris John, Paul, George, and... Ringo!
Nun Deloris Wilson, you are the most unruly, disobedient girl in this school. Now, I want you to march right up to that blackboard and write the names of all the apostles alphabetically.
Nun This is enough! You are hopeless, and I wash my hands of you. Mark my words, Deloris, if you continue on this disruptive track, it will lead straight to the devil! Have you any idea what girls like you become?
Vows of Hospitality and Honesty
Monsignor You took a vow of hospitality for all in need.
Reverend Mother I lied.
A Name and a Promise of Safety
Eddie Can I call you Deloris?
Deloris You can call me anything you want as long as you keep me alive.
A Prayer for Forgiveness and Understanding
Willy What is she doing?
Joey Oh my God, she's praying.
Deloris Lord, I want you to forgive Willy and Joey, because they know not what they do. They're only doin what Vince told em to do, because Vince is too chicken to do it himself! So he's called upon these two men to take care of his business! So I want you to forgive them, Lord. Espectum, espertum, cacoomb, toutu, eplubium. Amen!
Willy and Joey Amen.
[cross themselves]
Finding Your Voice Amidst the Noise
Delores I noticed that you're movin your mouth, but nothin's coming out. So I'd like to just hear you by yourself, if you don't mind. Sister Alma, can you give me an A, please?
[to Sister Mary Robert]
Delores ALMA! Check your battery! Give me an A, please.
[stomps her foot; Sister Alma reacts]
Delores Okay. Try this. Close your eyes. Visualize yourself in room full of people, lots of silverware, people dropping stuff, talking loud, drunks, women with trays goin "Whattaya gonna have?!". Your voice has to carry over the din. You have to get up over all of that to be heard in the back of the room where I'm sitting, listening, straining to hear you. Okay? Keep that in your mind when we do this.
Frustration Over Lengthy Interrogation
Vince How can you let them grill me for 6 hours?!
Larry Hey, I can't control how long they're gonna question you.
Vince You went to law school, Larry.
Larry Yes, I went to law school, Vince.
Vince Did you graduate?!
Larry I'm a lawyer. Of course I graduated.
A Humorous Prayer Before a Meal
Deloris Van Cartier Bless us, O Lord, for these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive...and...yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food...I will fear no hunger. We want you to...give us this day our daily bread, and to the republic for which it stands. By the power invested in me I now pronounce us ready to eat. Amen.
[says grace]
Search for Mary Clarence in Disguise
Reverend Mother Brace yourself, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.
[in a casino, to a group of nuns all dressed in full habit]
A Wake-Up Call from Reverend Mother
Reverend Mother From what I hear, your singing career is almost non-existent and your married lover wants you dead. If you're fooling anybody, it is only yourself. God has brought you here - take the hint.
Questioning Backgrounds and Intentions in Music
Sister Mary Robert Reverend Mother says Mary Clarence's background is in music.
Sister Mary Patrick Really, Mary Clarence. Were you a choir mistress?
Deloris Sort of freelance.
Sister Mary Lazarus Freelance? Really? Oh, you don't think I see. You think I took vows yesterday? I know what you're up to. You and Reverend Mother.
Deloris What?
Sister Mary Lazarus You're a ringer! She brought you here to replace me! Out with the old.
Finding Purpose in Unexpected Places
Deloris What am I gonna do here? I'm gonna go crazy! There's nothing but a lot of white women dressed as nuns! What am I gonna do here?
Eddie Pray.
Deloris Pray?
Embracing a New Identity for Safety
Deloris Oh, no! No, no, no! I can't do this. I'm sorry. This is fine for covering a little bulge, but now I've got holster hips.
[after putting on the habit]
Reverend Mother People wish to kill you. Anyone who's met you I imagine. A disguise is necessary to protect us all. While you are here you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I will know who and what you truly are. You will draw no attention to yourself whatsoever.
Deloris But look at me! I'm a nun! I'm a-- I'm a penguin!
Reverend Mother As from now and until you leave you are Sister Mary Clarence.
Deloris Mary Clarence? Like Clarence Williams III from The Mod Squad?
Reverend Mother Mary is in deference to our Holy Mother. Clarence is in honor of Saint Clarence of Concordia. There are three vows every nun must accept. The vow of ].
[[w:poverty|Poverty]
Deloris Mmm-hmm...
Reverend Mother The vow of ]...
[[w:obedience|Obedience]
Deloris Mmm-hmm...
Reverend Mother And the vow of ].
[[w:chastity|Chastity]
Deloris I am outta here with that.
Deloris Oh, man!
Unexpected Conversations in a Church Setting
Eddie Nice church, huh?
Deloris Yes, very nice. Look, what am I gonna be? Quasimodo in the belfry? What is this?
Eddie I want you to stay here for a while.
Deloris Where?
Eddie In the convent. It's the safest place in the world. You think Vince is gonna look for you in a convent?
Deloris Wh... in the what?
Eddie The convent.
Deloris You must be out of your... You know what? I'm gonna go back and work this out with Vince. You're a lunatic! I'm not gonna be in no damn convent with these people. These people don't even have sex!
Work Ethic and Rehearsal in Sister Act
Sister Mary Lazarus I knew that.
Deloris Mary Lazarus, as soon as I walked through the door, I knew that you knew this. Now, you're somebody who's into hard work and discipline, aren't you?
Sister Mary Lazarus Of course. I'm a nun. Four Popes now.
Deloris 4?! Wow! How often do they rehearse?
Sister Mary Lazarus Twice a week, couple hours.
Deloris Not enough. I mean, listen to em. They really need a lotta work! They gotta rehearse every day.
Sister Mary Lazarus She's good. Do you think they could get better?
Deloris I don't know. They pretty raw.
Sister Mary Lazarus Wet behind the ears.
Sister Mary Patrick Oh, please, let us try.
Deloris This is gonna be hell.
Sister Mary Lazarus Tell me about it.
A Simple Blessing from Deloris Van Cartier
Deloris Van Cartier Bless you!
[last words to Vince, who is arrested]
Revitalizing Church Through Entertainment Ideas
Reverend Mother Girl groups?! Boogie-woogie on the piano?! What were you thinking?!
Deloris I was thinkin more like Vegas. Y'know, get some butts in the seats.
Reverend Mother And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theater or a casino.
Deloris Yeah, but that's the problem. See, people like going to theaters, and they like going to casinos. But they don't like coming to church. Why? Because it's a drag. But we could change all that. See, we could-- We could pack this joint.
Reverend Mother Through blasphemy?! You have corrupted the entire choir!
Monsignor Excuse me.
Deloris How can you say that?! I worked my butt off with these women! They've given up their free time to do this, and they're GOOD! I mean, Sister, we could-- We could ROCK this place!
Reverend Mother OUT of the question! As of tomorrow, Mary Lazarus resumes her leadership of the choir.
Reverend Mother COME IN!!
The Joy of Singing Over Other Pleasures
Sister Mary Robert I'd rather sing then do anything.
Sister Mary Patrick It's better then ice cream.
Sister Mary Robert It's better than springtime.
Deloris Better than sex. No. No. I've heard.
[the other nuns react]
Defending Sister Mary Clarence's Identity
Vince Joey, do it.
[prepares to shoot Deloris]
Joey I can't, Vince. She's still a nun.
Vince She's a broad. Y'got it? Just a broad!
Reverend Mother I guarantee you she is no broad! She is Sister Mary Clarence of St. Katherine's convent. She's a model of generosity, virtue, and love! You have my word for it, gentlemen, she is a nun!
Willy Ya hear that? Now, aren't you glad we didn't shoot her?