Sister Act (1992) - Quotes

Strict Lifestyle Guidelines for a New Life

Taglines: No Sex. No Booze. No Men. No Way.

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Frustration Over Lengthy Interrogation

Vince: How can you let them grill me for 6 hours?!

Larry: Hey, I can't control how long they're gonna question you.

Vince: You went to law school, Larry.

Larry: Yes, I went to law school, Vince.

Vince: Did you graduate?!

Larry: I'm a lawyer. Of course I graduated.

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Revitalizing Church Through Entertainment Ideas

Reverend Mother: Girl groups?! Boogie-woogie on the piano?! What were you thinking?!

Deloris: I was thinkin more like Vegas. Y'know, get some butts in the seats.

Reverend Mother: And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theater or a casino.

Deloris: Yeah, but that's the problem. See, people like going to theaters, and they like going to casinos. But they don't like coming to church. Why? Because it's a drag. But we could change all that. See, we could-- We could pack this joint.

Reverend Mother: Through blasphemy?! You have corrupted the entire choir!

Monsignor: Excuse me.

Deloris: How can you say that?! I worked my butt off with these women! They've given up their free time to do this, and they're GOOD! I mean, Sister, we could-- We could ROCK this place!

Reverend Mother: OUT of the question! As of tomorrow, Mary Lazarus resumes her leadership of the choir.

Reverend Mother: COME IN!!

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Defending Sister Mary Clarence's Identity

Vince: [prepares to shoot Deloris] Joey, do it.

Joey: I can't, Vince. She's still a nun.

Vince: She's a broad. Y'got it? Just a broad!

Reverend Mother: I guarantee you she is no broad! She is Sister Mary Clarence of St. Katherine's convent. She's a model of generosity, virtue, and love! You have my word for it, gentlemen, she is a nun!

Willy: Ya hear that? Now, aren't you glad we didn't shoot her?

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A Prayer for Forgiveness and Understanding

Willy: What is she doing?

Joey: Oh my God, she's praying.

Deloris: Lord, I want you to forgive Willy and Joey, because they know not what they do. They're only doin what Vince told em to do, because Vince is too chicken to do it himself! So he's called upon these two men to take care of his business! So I want you to forgive them, Lord. Espectum, espertum, cacoomb, toutu, eplubium. Amen!

Willy and Joey: [cross themselves] Amen.

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The Joy of Singing Over Other Pleasures

Sister Mary Robert: I'd rather sing then do anything.

Sister Mary Patrick: It's better then ice cream.

Sister Mary Robert: It's better than springtime.

Deloris: [the other nuns react] Better than sex. No. No. I've heard.

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Finding Your Voice Amidst the Noise

Delores: [to Sister Mary Robert] I noticed that you're movin your mouth, but nothin's coming out. So I'd like to just hear you by yourself, if you don't mind. Sister Alma, can you give me an A, please?

Delores: [stomps her foot; Sister Alma reacts] ALMA! Check your battery! Give me an A, please.

Delores: Okay. Try this. Close your eyes. Visualize yourself in room full of people, lots of silverware, people dropping stuff, talking loud, drunks, women with trays goin "Whattaya gonna have?!". Your voice has to carry over the din. You have to get up over all of that to be heard in the back of the room where I'm sitting, listening, straining to hear you. Okay? Keep that in your mind when we do this.

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Work Ethic and Rehearsal in Sister Act

Sister Mary Lazarus: I knew that.

Deloris: Mary Lazarus, as soon as I walked through the door, I knew that you knew this. Now, you're somebody who's into hard work and discipline, aren't you?

Sister Mary Lazarus: Of course. I'm a nun. Four Popes now.

Deloris: 4?! Wow! How often do they rehearse?

Sister Mary Lazarus: Twice a week, couple hours.

Deloris: Not enough. I mean, listen to em. They really need a lotta work! They gotta rehearse every day.

Sister Mary Lazarus: She's good. Do you think they could get better?

Deloris: I don't know. They pretty raw.

Sister Mary Lazarus: Wet behind the ears.

Sister Mary Patrick: Oh, please, let us try.

Deloris: This is gonna be hell.

Sister Mary Lazarus: Tell me about it.

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Questioning Backgrounds and Intentions in Music

Sister Mary Robert: Reverend Mother says Mary Clarence's background is in music.

Sister Mary Patrick: Really, Mary Clarence. Were you a choir mistress?

Deloris: Sort of freelance.

Sister Mary Lazarus: Freelance? Really? Oh, you don't think I see. You think I took vows yesterday? I know what you're up to. You and Reverend Mother.

Deloris: What?

Sister Mary Lazarus: You're a ringer! She brought you here to replace me! Out with the old.

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Embracing a New Identity for Safety

Deloris: [after putting on the habit] Oh, no! No, no, no! I can't do this. I'm sorry. This is fine for covering a little bulge, but now I've got holster hips.

Reverend Mother: People wish to kill you. Anyone who's met you I imagine. A disguise is necessary to protect us all. While you are here you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I will know who and what you truly are. You will draw no attention to yourself whatsoever.

Deloris: But look at me! I'm a nun! I'm a-- I'm a penguin!

Reverend Mother: As from now and until you leave you are Sister Mary Clarence.

Deloris: Mary Clarence? Like Clarence Williams III from The Mod Squad?

Reverend Mother: [[w:poverty|Poverty] Mary is in deference to our Holy Mother. Clarence is in honor of Saint Clarence of Concordia. There are three vows every nun must accept. The vow of ].

Deloris: Mmm-hmm...

Reverend Mother: [[w:obedience|Obedience] The vow of ]...

Deloris: Mmm-hmm...

Reverend Mother: [[w:chastity|Chastity] And the vow of ].

Deloris: I am outta here with that.

Deloris: Oh, man!

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Vows of Hospitality and Honesty

Monsignor: You took a vow of hospitality for all in need.

Reverend Mother: I lied.

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Unexpected Conversations in a Church Setting

Eddie: Nice church, huh?

Deloris: Yes, very nice. Look, what am I gonna be? Quasimodo in the belfry? What is this?

Eddie: I want you to stay here for a while.

Deloris: Where?

Eddie: In the convent. It's the safest place in the world. You think Vince is gonna look for you in a convent?

Deloris: Wh... in the what?

Eddie: The convent.

Deloris: You must be out of your... You know what? I'm gonna go back and work this out with Vince. You're a lunatic! I'm not gonna be in no damn convent with these people. These people don't even have sex!

Finding Purpose in Unexpected Places

Deloris: What am I gonna do here? I'm gonna go crazy! There's nothing but a lot of white women dressed as nuns! What am I gonna do here?

Eddie: Pray.

Deloris: Pray?

A Name and a Promise of Safety

Eddie: Can I call you Deloris?

Deloris: You can call me anything you want as long as you keep me alive.

Apostles and a Quirky Response

Nun: Who can name all the apostles?

Nun: Yes, Deloris?

Deloris: John, Paul, George, and... Ringo!

Nun: Deloris Wilson, you are the most unruly, disobedient girl in this school. Now, I want you to march right up to that blackboard and write the names of all the apostles alphabetically.

Nun: This is enough! You are hopeless, and I wash my hands of you. Mark my words, Deloris, if you continue on this disruptive track, it will lead straight to the devil! Have you any idea what girls like you become?

Search for Mary Clarence in Disguise

Reverend Mother: [in a casino, to a group of nuns all dressed in full habit] Brace yourself, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.

Visibility of a Conspicuous Individual

Reverend Mother: [about Deloris] That is not a person you can hide, that is a conspicuous person designed to stick out.

A Wake-Up Call from Reverend Mother

Reverend Mother: From what I hear, your singing career is almost non-existent and your married lover wants you dead. If you're fooling anybody, it is only yourself. God has brought you here - take the hint.

A Simple Blessing from Deloris Van Cartier

Deloris Van Cartier: [last words to Vince, who is arrested] Bless you!

A Humorous Prayer Before a Meal

Deloris Van Cartier: [says grace] Bless us, O Lord, for these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive...and...yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food...I will fear no hunger. We want you to...give us this day our daily bread, and to the republic for which it stands. By the power invested in me I now pronounce us ready to eat. Amen.