Slackers Quotes

Mr. Leonard Good afternoon, Mr. Dulles.

Dave Call me Jack.

Mr. Leonard But is says here your first name is Ethan?

Dave Nah, just call me Jack.

Mr. Leonard All right, Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?

Dave Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.

Mr. Leonard That's more than one word.

Dave I brought you coffee.

Ethan I don't touch that stuff.

Dave Can I come in?

Ethan No. No one comes into Ethan's room. Ethan's rules.

Dave What's that smell?

Ethan Maybe it's the smell of your ass getting kicked out of school.

Jeff Davis We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay.

Angela You are a child and you are manipulative and even worse... you're a whore.

Dave I am not a whore.

Dave A whore? How am I a whore? FUCK! How am I a whore?

Ethan Dulles You are so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick-ass, and you know what? I love you.

Angela Is this a hair doll?

Ethan I didn't make that. It fell out of your hair that way and I want it back.

Angela It fell out this way? I don't think so.

Jeff Yoo-hoo, it's Steve Pasternack, looking for Angela! Angela, please!

Reanna Do I fucking know you?

Jeff Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?

Reanna Yeah. I was masturbating.

Jeff Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.

Reanna Remember what I always say, show the boobs and work the ass.

Angela I have no boobs.

Reanna You're right, well just work the ass.

Dave It was my fate to meet her.

Jeff But it wasn't your fate to be with her. Unfortunately, my friend, fate has a different plan for you. You will grow up, go out into the world. You'll forget all about the things that happened here. Ethan, Angela... the shit we pulled. Those hookers that we thought were girls. And you're going to go out there and no-one - no-one can shoot you down because a woman one time stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. That is your fate, Dave. Just as it is my fate to some day become shogun.

Ethan He's in my seat.

Head T.A. Philip Yeah... and we're grown-ups. We don't argue over seats. Now go sit over there. There are plenty of empty seats there.

Ethan Dulles I had a nickname for you! And now I'm not gonna tell you. Okay......... It was Laser.

Ethan Angela? Weird!

Angela Ethan? What are you doing here?

Ethan Well, I'm in the food service industry, and I like bums, so it's kinda my duty.

Angela I'm really happy that we got this cleared up because the guy that I like is your friend Dave.

Ethan Dave?

Angela Yeah!

Ethan Fudge!

Ethan Dulles No one calls me a retard, you FREAKIN HOBO!!!!

Ethan Dulles You're going down!

Ethan Dulles You're smart. I like you. I'll probably give you a nickname.

Sam Schecter You know what, boys? Why don't you just let me take care of it. You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud.