Slap Shot (1977) - Quotes

Humor and Mental Health in Slap Shot

Taglines: If this movie doesn't make you laugh, you better look up a psychiatric!!

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Unexpected Actions and Words of Paul Newman

Taglines: you'll see Paul Newman doing things you'd never expect him to do... saying things you'd never expect him to say!

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Slap Shot: Comedy, Chaos, and Hockey Unite

Taglines: Slap Shot out slaps... out swears... out laughs...

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Scouts Arrive to Evaluate Tough Team

Joe McGrath: [stomps out of locker room] They've come tonight.. to scout the Chiefs, the toughest team in the Federal League. Not this... bunch of... pussies.

Reggie Dunlop: Scouts?

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The Challenge of Team Dynamics

Reggie Dunlop: Lard ass Barkley Donaldson. You all saw what happened. Stick down, gloves off, he challenged the Chiefs. Called us names, CALLED US NAMES! But Dave was there.

The Hansons: [in unison] Dave's a killer!

Johnny Upton: Dave's a mess...

Reggie Dunlop: But Dave's out. Who's gonna take his place?

Ned Braden: Is the answer Jesus?

Reggie Dunlop: [glares at Braden; looks directly to the Hansons] Okay, guys. Show us what you got!

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Establishing Presence on the Ice

Reggie Dunlop: Let em know you're there! Get that stick in their side, let em know you're there! Put some lumber in their teeth, let em know you're there!

Ned Braden: [sarcastically] Bleed all over em, let em know you're there.

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The Ethics of Bounty in Sports

Joe McGrath: You can't put a bounty on a man's head.

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A Tense Exchange Between Two Players

Tim McCracken: Dunlop, you suck cock.

Reggie Dunlop: All I can get.

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Commentary on Team Dynamics and Appearances

Johnny Upton: They're horrible looking.

Reggie Dunlop: Don't look at me; it was McGrath's doing, not mine.

Johnny Upton: What the old man trade for these assholes, a used puck bag? Watch Braden, he's gonna do something.

Ned Braden: Hi. Are you guys brothers?

Johnny Upton: [laughs] Are you guys brothers... What a life!

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Confrontation Over Inappropriate Comments on Parenting

Reggie Dunlop: You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get married again, cause he's gonna wind up with somebody's cock in his mouth before you can say "Jack Robinson".

Anita McCambridge: How dare you. How DARE you!

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Learning to Put Out More in Relationships

Reggie Dunlop: She underlines the fuck scenes for ya? Jesus, if she underlines the fuck scenes for ya, she must worship the ground you walk on.

Ned Braden: They teach you how to underline in college.

Reggie Dunlop: Not the fuck scenes, they don't. Braden, you gotta learn to put out more, you know what I mean?

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Tensions Rise Over Team Choices

Reggie Dunlop: You cheap son of a bitch. Are you crazy? Those guys are retards!

McGrath: I got a good deal on those boys. Scout said they showed a lot of promise.

Reggie Dunlop: They brought their fuckin toys with em!

McGrath: I'd rather have them playing with their toys than playing with themselves.

Reggie Dunlop: They're too dumb to play with themselves! Boy, every piece of garbage that comes into the league, you gotta buy it.

McGrath: [pantomimes masturbation] Reg... Reg, that reminds me, I was coaching in Omaha in 1948 and Eddie Shore sends me this guy who's a terrible masturbator. Couldn't control himself. He would get deliberate penalities so he could get all by himself in the penalty box, and damned if he wouldn't, you know...

Reggie Dunlop: [disgusted] Aw, Jesus, Joe...

McGrath: [continues masturbating gestures] Now what was that again...?

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Conversation Between Reggie and Jack

Reggie Dunlop: You guys triplets or something?

Jack Hanson: Nah, I am in the middle... Steve's 20 and Jeff's 18.

Reggie Dunlop: Where ya from?

Jack Hanson: Iron League.

Reggie Dunlop: The Iron League, huh? Lotta fights?

Jack Hanson: Nah... Hey I want a a soda.

Reggie Dunlop: We paid for you here for a week then you gotta find a room of your own.

Jack Hanson: Okay, coach. Gimme a grape or an orange and none of that stinkin root beer.

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Struggle with Personal Image and Contracts

Jim Ahern: I look like some cock-sucking faggot in this thing.

Joe McGrath: Have you seen Reg or Braden?

Jim Ahern: Joe, I don't care man. Enough is enough. Nowhere in my contract does it say I gotta make a fool out of myself. Am I right?

Joe McGrath: Have you seen Dunlop or Braden–

Johnny Upton: I'm gonna flash em, Joe!

Joe McGrath: Aw, now, son...

Johnny Upton: I'm gonna walk down that stinkin aisle, I'm gonna open up this faggot bathrobe and wiggle my dick at em!

Joe McGrath: You will not.

Johhny Upton: Yes I am, Joe, and you know why? Because I want you to have a heart attack and die so that we never have to do this shit again. You and your fucking fashion shows.

Joe McGrath: It's good publicity! You boys just haven't been bringing in the crowds like you used to.

Johnny Upton: I'm gonna wiggle it at em, you cheap bastard. I'm telling you, ya better be prepared, because when I yank it out, everybody in that audience with the exception of my wife is gonna be runnin for the exits!

Announcer: Ensemble #8, as we watch Chiefs defenseman, Johnny Upton, modelling #8...

Joe McGrath: [on the phone] Joe McGrath, just checking on Dunlop–

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Confrontation Over Personal Insults

Mo Wanchuk: Hey, Reg! Reg! What did you say to him?

Reggie Dunlop: I told him his wife was a dyke.

Mo Wanchuk: NO!

Reggie Dunlop: Yeah!

Mo Wanchuk: Fuuuck!

Jim Mahern: Jesus Christ, no wonder he flipped his lid.

Johnny Upton: Anybody called my old lady a dyke, I'd go fucking bananas!

Reggie Dunlop: His wife is a dyke!

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Conflict Between Authority and Distraction

Referee: I got my eye on the three of you. You pull one thing, you're out of this game. I run a clean game here. I have any trouble here, I'll suspend you–

Steve Hanson: I'M LISTENING TO THE FUCKING SONG!

Preparation for the Game

Reggie Dunlop: What are you guys doing?

Steve Hanson: Puttin on the foil!

Jeff Hanson: Every game!

Jack Hanson: Yeah, you want some?

A Drunken Confession on the Bus

Reggie Dunlop: How's it going, Nick?

Nick Brophy: I'm drunk.

Reggie Dunlop: Nah.

Nick Brophy: I'm not bullshittin ya. Got stinkin shit-faced on the bus, Louise left me, and that son of a bitch over there keeps playin me, when he knows I'm shit-faced.

Reggie Dunlop: Geez, I'm really sorry.

Nick Brophy: Anybody throws me against the boards, I'm gonna piss all over myself.

Team Dynamics and Personal Quirks in Hockey

Ned Braden: You take the van, I'll keep the dog.

Jim Carr: I may be bald, but at least I'm not chicken-shit!

Denis Lemieux: [discussing hockey rules and customs, in broken English] Icing appen when dee puck come down... Bang! You know... before dee udder guy. Nobody dere. My h'arm go comme ça, den dee game stop den start h'up.

Denis Lemieux: My h'allergy to those fucking fans, you know, has returned.

Hanson Brothers Discuss Speed Racer on TV

The Hanson Brothers: Hey ya think they show Speed Racer here?

Casual Invitation from the Hanson Brothers

The Hanson Brothers: [to Ogie Ogilthorpe] Hi, Ogie! Buy ya a soda after the game?

Old Time Hockey and Team Dynamics

The Hanson Brothers: Well Reg is our coach.Yeah, sure, Old Time Hockey!Like Eddie Shore.Eddie Shore, yeah.Coach... our line starts?

Confrontation About Hanrahan's Relationship

Reggie Dunlop: [baiting the opposing goalie from behind the net] Hey, Hanrahan! Hanrahan!...Hey, Hanrahan! Suzanne sucks pussy!...Hey, Hanrahan, she's a dyke! I know! I know!...She's a lesbian! A lesbian! A lesbian!