Storks (2016) - Quotes

Junior: Put down that baby!

Policeman: This is not code.

Nate: [Henry and Sarah gasps] What?!

Policeman: It's all have come down.

Junior: [Hunter opens the door; gasps] Hunter?

Hunter: You're fired.

Junior: [stammers] But, but-but-but...

Hunter: [mockingly; the screen zooms out to reveal a fake house in front of two warehouses] But, but-but-but-but..." You are so idiotic. How were you not suspicious?

Junior: I thought this was a gentrifying neighborhood.

Toady: Didn't expect to see you here, brah! Oh, yes, I did. I set it up.

Hunter: Seize the thing!

Junior: Wait, no! Not the baby!

Hunter: Don't worry, she's gonna be fine. She's with penguins. There are whole documentaries about how great they are at baby-sitting!

Hunter: And she'll be an excellent swimmer. And then when she's old enough, we'll return her to the human world.

Junior: That's insane! You need to deliver her!

Hunter: We can't let it get out that we accidentally made a baby! Our stock would plummet everything we've built. My entire company will fall apart. Those parents can never find out.

Toady: [as he puts a pink bonnet on a tied up Junior and puts a pacifier in his mouth] Okay we're ready to go. Who's the baby now?

Hunter: Good enough.

Junior: My old nemesis: glass!

Tulip: [gasps] Birds can't see glass!

Junior: We're not like a family; we're just a guy and girl trying to put a baby to sleep.

Nate and Henry: Five more minutes and then we stop.

Sarah: [shocked] What?!

Nate and Henry: Five more minutes...

Sarah: [off-screen; As Henry accidentally throws a sledge hammer away, crashes] No! That's our chimney, you're gonna destroy the whole roof?!

Nate: Mom, we have to replace the chimney with a slide for when the storks deliver my baby brother.

Henry: What he said.

Sarah: No. Don't be crazy. You cannot do the chimney. Come on, don't make me the mean mom.

Nate: Dads are fun, moms are mean.

Henry: I heard that!

Sarah: [As she pinched Henry's ear] Parent conference.

Henry: Pinching.

Sarah: Henry, people are gonna think we're crazy. We need to tell him.

Henry: Tell him what? What, to go watch more TV? This is the best time I've had with Nate in my life. I actually feel like a dad again.

Sarah: And when no baby brother shows up?

Henry: Well, then we tell him. We can get a new chimney, but we'll never be able to replace this time with Nate. And if we put those headsets back on, how old will Nate be when we take them off again?

Nate: I'm not a jerky teenager yet. Fleeting moments, precious memories.

Alpha Wolf: Wolf Pack, form a wolf submarine!

Junior: Suck it, wolves!

Alpha Wolf: Wolf Pack, form a wolf bridge!

Junior: What is happening?

Tulip: The wolves are forming a suspension bridge.

Junior: How is that possible?

Tulip: I don't know.

Alpha Wolf: I'm gonna devour this thing!

Beta Wolf: I'm gonna bite her arm clean off.

Tulip: If this baby finds her family, then maybe I can find mine.

Tulip: Look at the baby!

Junior: NO! Just a brief exposure to baby cuteness can ruin your life!

Tulip and Junior: Awww!

Tulip: [singing] Baby, what are we gonna call you, baby? This is crazy! We're delivering a baby!

Junior: No, we're delivering a package. Maybe we should name it instead of calling the package. We do not name the package, OK? We make a plan, stick to the plan, always deliver. And we get back to Storkcon, so, the board can name me boss.

Tulip: Whoa, it's so exciting! What can we expect from boss Junior?

Junior: [lowers Tulip's hand; guffaws] Oh, you know it's top secret.

Tulip: You can tell me, come on.

Junior: It's gonna be big.

Tulip: Like, what? Like what? How big? Like, what are you gonna do?

Junior: I prefer we're gonna talk about it right now.

Tulip: Do you not know?

Junior: What?

Tulip: Oh, my gosh, you don't know.

Junior: [offscreen] I know.

Tulip: [gasped] If you don't know, why do you want to be boss?

Junior: I know.

Tulip: [laughing with Junior] You don't? All man, you laugh when you're uncomfortable.

Junior: [laughing] No.

Tulip: Am I pushing your buttons?

Junior: Uh, no.

Tulip: Yes, I am.

Junior: Nah, no.

Tulip: [laughing] Beep, beep, Boop, boop, beep, beep...

Junior: No, those aren't even where my buttons would be if I had buttons.

Tulip: Beep, beep, boop, boop...

Junior: Nice try.

Tulip: [robotic voice] I am programming you to tell me why you want to be boss.

Junior: [robotic voice] I love robots, so this is fun.

Tulip: Beep, beep, boop, boop...

Junior: We're having a good time together.

Tulip: Why do you want to be boss, why do you want to be boss, why do you want to be boss?

Junior: BACK OFF!!!

Tulip: [Junior gets Tulip back on the plane after her hat and goggles blew off] AAAAAAGH!!

Junior: [chuckles] Wow! Well, that was funny. You almost died. I guess the lesson we learned today is... don't ask me why I want to be boss, right? Okay, good talk.

Toady: [seeing white powder on the floor; brushes some into the air, tastes a bit of the powder] Powduh? Baby Powduh!

Nate: Mom! Dad! the storks are bringing me a baby brother!

Henry: [yawned] That sounds like a nice dream, buddy.

Sarah: Let's go back to sleep, honey.

Nate: This is the best day of my life!

Henry: Gardner Real Estate. Henry...

Sarah: ...And Sarah...

Both: [laughs] Gardner! A house is not a home without a Gardner!

Nate: Ninja Commander, where are you?

Henry: Uh, can you hold one second?

Nate: You promised me that we were taking down Dr. LeFreeze this afternoon. You didn't show up, and now he controls most of Western Europe. Ethnic tension is on the rise.

Henry: Yeah...We're totally done after this call, okay?

Nate: Really?

Henry: Five more minutes.

Sarah: And then we'll stop.

Both: We promise.

Junior: Oh boy. Uh, Tulip, OK. I have news for you.

Tulip: [sniffs] Before you finish, for you to come to wish me a happy birthday, that's just the nicest, you know it's like a little rainbow. So, thank you. That's really nice. But, oh, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. What were you gonna tell me?

Junior: Uh...Oh boy. I have wonderful news for you. You have been liberated.

Tulip: What does that mean?

Junior: [softly, faster] Well, it means that you are fired.

Tulip: What?

Junior: [stuttering; grunting] You're fir...

Tulip: Are you okay?

Junior: Excuse me. You're fi...You're fantasic!

Tulip: Really? Because I just blew up the most of the factory.

Junior: [a scene pans over the baby factory] Oh yeah. What a twist. Um...Well, it means Oh!

Junior: Excuse me! Orphan Tulip?

Tulip: Junior, you're talking to me?

Junior: Yes, Orphan Tulip!

Tulip: No, it's ju- Uh, it's just that you never talk to me.

Junior: Well, yeah, that's changing starting today, Orphan Tulip.

Tulip: Oh, uh, Tulip is just fine, Orphan hurts my heart.

Hunter: Junior, you know why I built my office entirely out of glass even though birds can't see glass?

Junior: I do not.

Hunter: Power move. 18 years ago, I saved all storks by getting out of babies and into package delivery. Now, this Monday at Storkcon, the board will announce they're kicking me upstairs.. I'm going to be named Chairman. Which means you are going to be named boss.

Toady: [shows Junior a picture of a Goose on his phone; [w:Canada|Canada] Check out my girlfriend! She's in ]!

Junior: Yeah huh.

Toady: She migrated, she's not made up.

Junior: Okay.

Toady: [waving his phone around] Look at her, look at her! She exists, brah!

Junior: That's great.

Junior: [first lines of the film; narrating; We see the tower called "Stork Mountain" as the storks fly out to deliver babies; We see clouds as a silhouette stork is flying; We see a stork flying while holding a blonde-haired brown skinned baby with a white blanket] For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies... From their perch on Stork Mountain. It was an honor and a privilege to serve. It was our duty, our core belief the driving force of our very lifeblood.

Jasper: What can I say. It's a terrible business. I feel sad all the time.

Jasper: Hey what about these?

Jasper: And yet after all these years, I'm still missing one piece.

Jasper: That's my baby!

Tulip: [laughing with Junior] You don't? All right, you laugh when you're uncomfortable. Am I pushing your buttons?

Tulip: I want to see the baby.

Tulip: Tulip is fine. Orphan hurts my heart.

Junior: An annoying person asked me once why I want to be boss. Well, I never knew why until today. Baby delivery is our true calling. This is not just a bunch of metal and glass and whatever that giant magical crystal thing is made out of. This is the heart of what Storks were put on this earth to do. This is our mission. We pride ourselves on customer service. Well this is a family that never got the baby they asked for. Make a plan. Stick to the plan. Always deliver!

Junior: That's insane! You need to deliver her!

Junior: [to the penguins; as he and Tulip prepares for a quiet fight] Put down that baby!

Junior: If anyone finds out about this, I am dead meat! My hopes of becoming boss (will be) destroyed!

Junior: [first lines of the film; narrating; We see the tower called "Stork Mountain" as the storks fly out to deliver babies; We see clouds as a silhouette stork is flying; We see a stork flying while holding a blonde-haired brown skinned baby with a white blanket] For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies... From their perch on Stork Mountain. It was an honor and a privilege to serve. It was our duty, our core belief the driving force of our very lifeblood.