A Promise of Presence in the Morning
Bob: [to Walt, on the operating table just before the twins are anesthetized for dangerous separation surgery]
Promise me you'll still be there when I wake up.
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Unexpected Responses in a Friendship
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A Night of Indulgence and Reflection
Walt: [[Cher; [Cher]
Boozing with ]... boozing with ]...
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Aging and Relationships Among Friends
Walt:
Christ, Bob, you haven't been laid in five years.
Bob: [Walt gives him a serious look]
Hey, how you know? Damn.
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Contrasting Landscapes: Grand Canyon vs. Vineyard
Bob:
We flew over the Grand Canyon on our way out here.
May:
Really?
Bob:
Yeah, it's way different from the Vineyard. You know, with the big hole and shit. Um, and it's orange.
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Customer Complaints About Delayed Food Service
Mimmy:
Bob, the people at Table 14 are really hungry, where's the food?
Bob:
How much time have I got left?
Mimmy:
You're already 14 minutes over!
Bob:
Well, then, what are they bitching about? They're gonna get a free meal.
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Conversations About Loneliness and Connection
Bob:
Hey, I'm alone!
Convenience Store Patron:
Great, buddy, you're gonna stay that way, too!
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Inquiry About Bob's Company
May: [to motel clerk]
Hey, you wouldn't happen to know if Bob was alone, would you?
Moe:
I highly doubt it.
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Request for a Private Conversation
May: [to Bob and Walt]
Look, I was hoping we could have a word in private, I mean just the three of us.
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Fans Seek Autographs from Cher Outside
1st AD: [[Cher]
Excuse me, Miss ], there's a few fans outside hoping for autographs.
Cher:
Allright, but I am not taking any pictures.
Cute Autograph Girl: [[Cher]
Oh shit, it's just ].
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Self-Reflection on Past Behavior
Cher:
I was a bitch with a capital C.
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Designated Walker Chooses Sobriety Over Drinks
Walt:
Hey, Dave. How about another tall one?
Dave:
Got it. How about you there, Bob?
Bob:
No, no. No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.
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Free Burgers and Friendly Banter
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Career Risks and Surprising Decisions
Morty O'Reilly:
If you do this, you're committing career suicide.
Walt:
That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".
Morty O'Reilly:
You're shitting me. He quit?
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Confrontation and Resolve in a Tense Moment
Bob: [to Walt]
Don't you walk away from me!
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A Playful Exchange About Word Games
Walt:
What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?
April:
Tit?
Walt:
No, I've tried that already.
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Confrontation in a burger bar setting
Man in burger bar: [to Rocket]
Hey! I ordered diet coke!
Rocket:
Enjoy your meal.
Man in burger bar: [to Bob]
Hey, you shouldn't have freaks in here!
Bob:
You know, you're absolutely right, we don't want freaks in here, so Rocket, would you kindly show this freak to the door?
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Unexpected Insults from a Passerby
Drive-by Heckler:
Hey, Freaks!
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Comparison of Two Situations
Cher: [[Touched By An Angel; [Trainspotting (film)|Trainspotting]
This makes ] look like ].
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Miscommunication in a Medical Crisis
Doctor 1: [girls gasp and begin to cry; other doctor enters]
I'm afraid... we lost them.
Doctor 2:
It's okay, they'd been taken up to the top floor. We found them.
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Humanitarian Award Discussion Between Friends
Walt:
Are you kidding? You could win a humanitarian award for how nice you were to us.
Cher:
Aww... no. Well, really, is there talk of me getting one?
Walt:
No, no, it's just a figure of speech.
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A Friendly Exchange of Witty Comebacks
Rocket: [Bob is doing a bad job of cooking burgers by himself]
Hey, Bob, get the lead out of your ass!
Bob:
Hey, up yours, Rocket!
Rocket: [sarcastically]
Oh, nice comeback.
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A Playful Exchange About Appearance
April: [after surgery to separate the twins]
Bob, you look good.
Walt:
He looks good. What am I, chopped liver?
April:
Actually, yeah.
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A Curious Inquiry and a Surprising Answer
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The Challenges of Sharing Space
Walt: [whispering]
Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself, masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.
Bob:
What are you talking about?
Walt:
Oh, please. Last night, it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.
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Unexpected Observations on Appearance
Dart in Head Guy: [with dart stuck in his head]
Hey, do I look different to you?
Man:
You got a dart in your head, you dumb shit.
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Shared Organs and Their Importance
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A Warning About Mace Usage
Walt:
She's got mace.
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Encouraging Rest Before a Test
Cher: [to extremely young lover, while in bed together]
Go to bed. You have a geography test in the morning.
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A Playful Exchange on Word Definitions
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Misunderstanding Identity in a Unique Situation
Morty O'Reilly:
I'm gonna have to level with you. Siamese twins ain't the easiest sell I've ever had.
Bob:
We're not Siamese. We're American.
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