30 quotes
Captain O'Hagen Reflects on Rookie Pranks
Captain John O'Hagen
I invented this gag, Rabbit! Only in my day, the rookie got naked! And we also used blanks... You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.
[''Fires the pistol he is holding at a State Police cruiser, shattering a window'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character expresses anxiety and concern.
Rabbit
You are freakin out....man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commitment to Law Enforcement
Farva
I gotta bust criminals! It's what I gotta do!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Demanding Request for Reciprocity
Captain John O'Hagen
I scratched your back, Bruce! I scratched it good and hard! Now either you scratch my back, or you get my size ten boot up your ass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-inflicted Financial Loss
Farva
I just lost a buck... to myself!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection of a Character
Foster
Oh, biker... I'm an idiot.
[''when Foster realizes that he misunderstood Ursula's disguise suggestion and dressed as a bicyclist'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farva's Demands for Cola and Consequences
Farva
Liter is French for give me some fuckin cola or I'll break vous's fuckin lip!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgia for the Old Locker and Relationships
Farva
I guess that's it for the old locker. She stinks like ass but I'll still miss her. I guess you could say that about all my girls.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation for a moustache ride
Thorny
Alright, who wants a moustache ride?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on a Near Miss in Canada
Thorny
Canada, eh? Almost made it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Skeptical Comment on Unlikely Events
Captain John O'Hagen
I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.
[''A repeated, sarcastic line, often said with an Irish accent'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Surprising Revelation About Fatherhood
Thorny
Some male figure'? I'm his dad!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Art of Digital Enhancement
Thorny
Enhance... Enhance... Enhance...
[''Messing around with a photo on the station computer'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Jurisdictional Grievance in Investigation
Captain John O'Hagen
Of *course* they started the fight! Now they've taken a jurisdictional grievance against us! I mean a murder on the highway! And you give them the investigation! Christ! We look like a bunch of pussies!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defending Against Unfair Comparisons
Thorny
What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin Martian.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Masculinity and Identity
Thorny
I am all that is MAN!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farva's Identity with the Highway
Farva
I'm all highway.
[refusing Captain Grady's bribe]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of astonishment by Thorny
Thorny
Mother of God.
[''Deep voice'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Syrup Effects on Behavior Explained
Captain John O'Hagen
Sorry about that, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Scent of Fear
Rabbit
*Sniffs* Fear.
[After Thorny says, "You smell somethin', Rabbit?"]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of Reckless Behavior
Captain John O'Hagen
Let me guess- you just humped the mayor's wife and burned down city hall.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farva's Request for Free Beer
Farva
I'll take six schlitzes... or whatever's free.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comparison of Cell Sizes
Foster
What size cells are these? Eight by eight? Ours are nine by nine... no big deal.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Counting Down to Action
Mac
One... Two... Three... Do It!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Enthusiastic Question about Mexico
Mac
YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-E-CO?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Missed Opportunity for Action
Captain John O'Hagen
We shoulda took him out back and shot him a long time ago.
[''About Farva, realizing he has betrayed O'Hagen and the others'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Perceptions of Intelligence and Respect
Mac
Do we look like the two dumbest guys in the world to you? Is that why you treat us with such disrespect?
[cross-eyed and with slight lisp]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mac's Frustration with a Direct Command
Mac
Do what? GO FUCK YOUR SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for a large cola beverage
Farva
I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter o cola!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning a dangerous action humorously
Rabbit
What, are you gonna light my ass on fire?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.