Surf 2 (1984) - Quotes

Insanity Redefined in Surf II

Taglines: The Movie That Gives Insanity A Bad Name!

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Conflict Escalates Among Friends

Sparkle: Bunny, that's enough.

Menlo Schwartzer: Enough? Why, I just started!

Sparkle: Please stop, before it's too late.

Menlo Schwartzer: Too late"? That's rich, it's already too late!

Chuck: What time is it?

Menlo Schwartzer: Oh, it's about a quarter to-...NEVER MIND THAT!

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Concerns Over Cola's Effects on Children

Beaker: This cola may be causing very serious physiological damage!

Bob's Dad: Like what?

Beaker: I didn't want to say it...uh, Bob's Dad, but this cola may be turning your kids into zombies!

Principal Daddy-O: What a dork.

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Anatomy and Physiology in Surf Culture

Bob: So what is he?

Beaker: Don't know. Anatomically, he seems as human as you and me. His physiology seems to be physically altered. No human I know could eat like that and still surf. None.

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Miscommunication About Life and Death

Beaker: [cuts into a zombie corpse with a bone saw. It screams.] I thought you said he was dead!

Chuck: Maybe he was sleeping.

Beaker: [maniacally continues cutting] NOT ANYMORE!

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The Consequences of Being Cancelled

Chuck: Is he dead?

Bob: Dead, man? This dude is worse than dead, he's been cancelled!

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Humiliation and Memories in Surf II

Sparkle: Oh, Bunny, I've never been so humiliated in all my life!

Menlo Schwartzer: Oh yeah? What about the time Daddy-O displayed the booger collection in your pencil case at the pep rally?

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Bizarre Incident at the Grocery Store

Lindy Sue: [about the zombified Jocko] Last night he broke into the grocery store and drank six gallons of anti-freeze!

Chuck: Really? We haven't had a cold snap since January.

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Choosing a Car for the Day

Mrs. Big Head: Which car are you taking, Johnny?

Johnny Big Head: The convertible!

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Ignorance and Determination in a Crisis

Johnny Big Head: [steps into a driving arcade game] Have to drive to stay alive!

Cindy Lou: Johnny, you can't: it says it's out of order.

Johnny Big Head: Don't matter! I can't read!

Chuck: He's got an IQ of 53.

Cindy Lou: That's impossible!

Johnny Big Head: I know! I cheated! A-bow-bow!

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A Casual Introduction at the Beach

Bob: [noticing bikini babes] Check it out!

Chuck: Whoa! Wenches!

Bob: Hi, I'm Bob. Excuse me, but are you available for dating?

Bikini Babe: Well, perhaps. What did you have in mind?

Bob: Are you clean?

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Identification of Surfers in Distress

Chief Boyardie: [lifts up sheet revealing corpse] This won't be easy, but you boys know all the surfers in this area and I need identification. Well, there it is.

Bob: What is it?

Chief Boyardie: Surfers. Two, maybe three. What's left of them.

Chuck: What happened?

Chief Boyardie: We're not sure. One thing's certain, it wasn't suicide.

Chuck: How do you know?

Chief Boyardie: There's no motive. Besides, it's impossible to cut off your own arms and legs...and head.

Coroner: Haven't seen a mess like this since the days of the early Cuisinarts.

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Authority and Confusion at the Beach

Principal Daddy-O: What have we here, Chef?

Chief Boyardie: Well, I'm not sure. But nobody goes near the water until I get to the bottom of it and don't call me "Chef".

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Night Surfing Concerns Amidst Danger

Becker: Full moon out. Perfect for night surfing.

Jocko: Yeah, you wanna come watch?

Sparkle: I don't think that's a very good idea...aren't you worried about those two guys who got mutilated out there today?

Jocko: Nah, we'll surf around them.

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Chuck's Mom Critiques Others' Honesty

Other characters: Chuck's Mom: You people are so full of shit your eyes are brown!

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A Genius Defined by Contradictions

Other characters: Sparkle: Menlo Schwartzer was a genius...a brilliant chemist. Talk about having it all: he was short, ugly, near-sighted and carried a slide rule.

Embrace spontaneity with a drink

Other characters: Bob: Don't think, just drink!

Defending Surfing and Freedom in America

Other characters: [on the verge of tears] Chuck's Dad: If you're worried about your kids, lock them up, beat them, do anything you damn well please, but for Christ's sake, don't stop innocent kids from drinking cola and surfing, it's the American way! Surfing's built this town...and it's damn well built this country.

A Bow to L.A. Culture

Johnny Big Head: [after watching a zombie smash open a vending machine with its head] Must be from L.A.! A-bow-bow!

Johnny Big Head's Unique Expression

Johnny Big Head: [repeated line] A-bow-bow!

Chief Boyardie’s Warning to the Kids

Chief Boyardie: Kids, if I need any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your heads.

Beach Investigation Request by Chief Boyardie

Chief Boyardie: I want you to dust the beach for prints.

Parental Disciplinary Intentions Expressed Humorously

Bob's Dad: [seeing his son sabotage his surfing bet] I'm gonna beat that kid like I don't know him.

Bob's Dad's Unexpected Insult

Bob's Dad: [having an argument on the phone; hangs up] Oh yeah, one more thing, O'Finlay: SCHLONG! What an asshole.

Seeking Connection and Understanding

Bob's Dad: [repeated line] Can you relate?

The Consequences of Unwanted Transformation

Menlo Schwartzer: [lifts up shirt to reveal a pair of breasts] I used to want to be like the other kids, you know! I wanted to be a surfer! I wanted to be hip and bitchy and gnarly, but that's over now, it all ended one miserable afternoon: I was having an innocent soda, and they spiked it! And you know with what? With a powerful reverse-sex hormone! Do you know what it's like to be the only guy at the beach with tits?!