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The Absent-Minded Professor Quotes

"The most amazing discovery since laughter!"

G 1961 · 1h 36m
66
Audience
Apple TV Store Available on Apple TV Store
66
Audience
9 quotes
The Absent-Minded Professor
Naming a New Substance: Flubber
Professor Ned Brainard Substance X, we dub thee... Flubber!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
Tension Between Fire Chief and Mr. Hawk
Fire Chief Mr. Hawk! This is the Fire Chief speaking! We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now Mr. Hawk, try to relax.
[shouting through a megaphone]
Alonzo J. Hawk Relax? How can I relax, you fat-head?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
Invention of Flubber by Professor Brainard
Professor Ned Brainard Let's see, flying rubber... Flubber!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
Rules of Competition and Unconventional Strategies
First Referee There's nothing in the rule book that says one team can't jump higher than the other.
Biff Hawk Oh, it's just Neddy the Nut out flying his old Model T.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
Claiming American Identity Through Credit Cards
Professor Ned Brainard I'm an American! See it? My credit cards!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
Communication Challenges in Fire Department Leadership
Fireman I told you we needed a new one.
Fire Chief You told me? What do you think I've been telling the town council? How am I supposed to buy a new net without an appropriation?
Fireman Well, don't get hot. I only mentioned it.
Fire Chief Well, you just keep the kinks out of the fire hose. That's all I want from you. I'm the Chief!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
The Beauty of Corners
Professor Ned Brainard Corners beautifully, doesn't it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
Blackmailing for Scientific Discovery
Professor Ned Brainard Mr. Hawk, let me get this straight. You want me to turn my discovery over to you so you can blackmail our government?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Absent-Minded Professor
A Confused Plea for Help
Prof. Shelby Ashton Officer! Help me! It's after me! Help me!
[as he and the two officers get out of their crashed cars]
Officer Hanson I do hope that you will excuse my appearance, but I was just having a cup of boiling hot coffee.
Prof. Shelby Ashton But it's after me!
Officer Hanson What's after you?
Prof. Shelby Ashton I don't know, some kind of a... thing!
Officer Hanson A thing? Can you describe it?
Prof. Shelby Ashton I don't know. I didn't see it. But it flies. And it made a noise, like, uh, "Aaa-OOO-gah! Aaa-OOO-gah!" And then it banged down on the top of my car! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! And when I looked, there wasn't anything there.
Officer Hanson Oh, that kind of a thing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.