21 quotes
A Call to Recognize the Band's Importance
Jake
The band? The band.
Reverend Cleophus James
DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!
Jake
THE BAND!
Reverend Cleophus James
DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!
Elwood
What light?
[confused]
Reverend Cleophus James
HAVE YOU SEEEEN THE LIGHT?!
Jake
YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hazardous Pairing Explained
Taglines
The most dangerous combination since nitro and glycerine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nazi Party Marches After Court Victory
Jake
Hey, what's going on?!
Policeman
Ah, those bums won their court case, so they're marching today.
Jake
What bums?
Policeman
The fucking Nazi party.
Elwood
Illinois Nazis.
Jake
I hate Illinois Nazis!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Challenges Together
Jake
You got us into this parking lot, pal! Now you get us out!
Elwood
You want out of this parking lot? Okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Journey of Music and Adventure
Taglines
The show that really hits the road.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Toasted Bread
Mrs. Murphy
Help you boys?
Elwood
You got any white bread?
Mrs. Murphy
Yes.
Elwood
I'll have some toasted white bread, please.
Mrs. Murphy
You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood
No, ma'am, dry.
Jake
Got any fried chicken?
Mrs. Murphy
Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake
Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy
You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake
Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood
And some dry white toast, please.
Mrs. Murphy
Y'all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood
No, ma'am.
Jake
A Coke.
Mrs. Murphy
Be up in a minute. We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants.
[goes into the kitchen, where Matt is cooking]
Matt "Guitar" Murphy
Say what?
Mrs. Murphy
They look like they're from the CIA or somethin'.
Matt "Guitar" Murphy
What they want to eat?
Mrs. Murphy
The tall one wants white toast, dry, with nothin on it.
Matt "Guitar" Murphy
Elwood.
[remembers]
Mrs. Murphy
And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
Matt "Guitar" Murphy
And Jake! Shit, the Blues Brothers!
[goes over to greet them]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice to Attend Church
Curtis
Well, the Sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he's got to say.
Jake
Curtis, I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
[annoyed]
Curtis
Jake, you get wise. You get to church.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mission from God: Uncatchable Blues Brothers
Taglines
They'll never get caught. They're on a mission from God.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reuniting the Band May Prove Challenging
Jake
We'll put the band back together, do a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five thousand bucks.
Elwood
Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not that be that easy, Jake.
Jake
What are you talking about?
Elwood
They split, they all took straight jobs.
Jake
Yeah, so you know where they are. You said you were gonna keep in touch with them.
Elwood
Well...I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you, huh?
Jake
They're not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
Elwood
Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Jake
You lied to me.
Elwood
It wasn't a lie, it was just bullshit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unity in Diversity
Elwood Blues
We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show. And please remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Confrontation with the Mystery Woman
Elwood
Who is that girl?
Mystery Woman
Well, Jake, you look just fine down there, slithering in the mud like vermin.
Jake
No problem.
Mystery Woman
You're not gonna get away from me this time.
[recklessly fires around the tunnel, causing pipes to leak and water to burst out]
Jake
It's good to see you, sweetheart.
[gets up, his suit ruined by the mud]
Mystery Woman
You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.
Jake
Oh, please, don't kill us! Please, please don't kill us! You know I love you, baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault!
[walks forward a few steps and falls to his knees]
Mystery Woman
You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake
No I didn't. Honest...I ran out of gas! I-I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!
Mystery Woman
Oh, Jake...Jake, honey...
[softens]
Jake
Let's go.
[to Elwood; drops the Mystery Woman and walks off]
Elwood
Take it easy.
[to the Mystery Woman as he steps past her]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding SCMODS in Law Enforcement
Jake
Goddamn it!
[quietly]
Elwood
Man, I haven't been pulled over in six months. I bet those cops have got "SCMODS".
Jake
SCMODS?
Elwood
State/County/Municipal Offender Data System.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Disrespect and Redemption Journey
Curtis
Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way.
Claire
Oh we got both kinds. We got Country and Western.
[When asked what music is played at Bob's Country Bunker]
Police Dispatcher
Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.
Sister Mary Stigmata
You two are such a disappointing pair! I prayed so hard for you both. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves with filthy mouths, disgusting lies and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back...until you've redeemed yourselves.
Illinois Nazi Party Leader
White men! White women! The swastika is calling you! The sacred and ancient symbol of your race since the beginning of time! The Jew is using the black as muscle against you! And you are left there, helpless. Well? What are you gonna do about it, whitey? Just sit there? Of course not! You are going to join with us! The members of the American Socialist White People's Party. An organization of decent law-abiding white folk, just like you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter with Rollers
Elwood
Shit!
Jake
What?
Elwood
Rollers.
Jake
No!
Elwood
Yep.
Jake
Shit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Briefcase Full of Blues
Taglines
A briefcase full of blues.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Journey to Chicago Begins
Elwood
It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake
Hit it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Musicians Clarify Their Identity to Mrs. Tarantino
Mrs. Tarantino
Are you the police?
Elwood
No, ma'am. We're musicians.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Car's Identity
Jake
What's this?
Elwood
What?
Jake
This car. This stupid car. Where's the Cadillac? The Caddy, where's the Caddy?
[tries the cigarette lighter, finds it doesn't work, and throws it out the window]
Elwood
The what?
Jake
The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile.
Elwood
I traded it.
Jake
You traded the Bluesmobile for this?
Elwood
No, for a microphone.
Jake
A microphone? Okay, I can see that. But what the hell is this?
Elwood
This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving them away.
Jake
Well, thank you, pal. The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car.
[sarcastically]
Elwood
You don't like it?
Jake
No, I don't like it.
Jake
Car's got a lot of pickup.
[impressed]
Elwood
It's got a cop motor, a four hundred and forty cubic inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters, so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
Jake
Fix the cigarette lighter.
[lights a cigarette using his own lighter]
Jake
What are we doing here?
[not surprised]
Elwood
You promised you'd visit the Penguin the day you got out.
Jake
Yeah? So, I lied to her.
Elwood
You can't lie to a nun. We gotta go in and visit the Penguin.
Jake
No. Fucking. Way.
[annoyed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Return of the Blues Brothers
Taglines
They're back.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mission from God: A Brotherly Conflict
Jake
First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone, then you lie to me about the band, and now you're gonna put me right back in the joint!
Elwood
They're not gonna catch us! We're on a mission from God!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Money and Principles
Jake
Forget it! Five grand? No problem, we'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go, Elwood.
Penguin
No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!
Jake
Well, then, I guess you're really up shit's creek. Ow!
[the Penguin smacks him with her ruler]
Penguin
I beg your pardon; what did you just say?
Jake
First, I offered to help you.
Penguin
Mmmmm...
Jake
Then you refused to take our money.
Penguin
Mmmhmmm...
Jake
And then I said, "I guess you're really up shit's creek". Ow!
[the Penguin promptly smacks him again]
Elwood
Christ, Jake. Take it easy, man.
Penguin
Elwood!
[hits Elwood]
Jake
Oh shit!
Elwood
Jesus Christ!
Jake
Shit!
Elwood
Cut it out, you fat penguin! Fuck this noise, man!
[she breaks the ruler over his head, then chases them from the office while beating them with a pointer rod; runs down the stairs]
Penguin
You two are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you both. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves with filthy mouths, disgusting lies and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back...until you've redeemed yourselves.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.